FOLLOW THE ADVENTURES OF LEGO PUCK!!!
Puck has taken a vacation to the land of plastic bricks, and a new postcard from her travels will be arriving in the form of a voting incentive every few days! Things are bound to get wacky, so…
ALSO…
As for the comic…
For those who will curse Colin and talk about his terrible parenting skills, I will just say this (loosely cribbing from Louis C.K. here): if you haven’t ever been an active parent caring for a fussy baby, then you get no right to an opinion because you haven’t been there. And if you have been a parent, and you’re telling me that you’ve never, ever left your child’s side for thirty seconds – no, not even once – then you’re probably lying. Or you’re Jesus. But then I know you’re lying because Jesus never had kids. HAH! (Unless you believe that whole ‘Da Vinci Code’ garbage, but let’s not go there.)
And for those people who think it in bad taste for me to make light of the serious topic of baby-napping, I really have no defense beyond saying that it’s sort of like saying it’s in bad taste for the Three Stooges to make light of the serious topic of head injury.
I’ll bet that Puck and Phoebe took Miranda.
Raise your hand if you were surprised by that….
Anybody?
Anybody?
Beuller?
I wasn’t!
It’s almost as if you have some sort of… fore knowledge.
Strangely enough, I sometimes don’t. I’ve periodically been at points where I don’t know what will happen next week in this comic.
Ahh, good ole fashioned organic writing, where you let the characters decide where the story will go next. As a game master for RPGs, this happens more often than I care to admit. From player decisions to the characters running organically, I never truly know what’s going to happen from session to session.
I have an overarching concept of where a story will go, but I leave it open in case a funnier idea pops into my head. Case in point: I never intended for Puck to actually catch Satan and beat him up in the election story. I just thought she’d chase him. But then I thought the comedic possibilities were greater if actual violence were involved, so things changed on a dime.
I write outlines, scenes that I want to have happen and will happen. And parts of a plot that lead in the direction I want things to go. But the rest is playing by ear, and like you, if I think of something more entertaining, I don’t want to miss it because hey, I already got everything in order.
Colin, whatever Puck does to you as punishment will be well-deserved.
WHATEVER Puck does to him won’t be enough for this blunder.
Maybe she’ll be understanding.
You’re right, Gecko, she’ll understand…. What the hell am I saying? when she’s done with him he will be begging for the sweet release of death, and SHE WON”T GIVE IT TO HIM!!!!
Yeah, that’s pretty true.
Yep,dead he’s a dead man.
Now Colin has to poo?
Geez! Can’t take this guy anywh-
Oh, right! Baby’s gone!
Hey, he can poo without any obstacle now!
It’s not the guy from #64? I am… Somewhat disappointed as I was hoping he’d get another shot but oh well.
As for not leaving kids for 30 seconds… I’ve actually only done that once when babysitting (thankfully *indoors*).
Puck is probably gonna release her wrath on Colin if he doesn’t find Miranda very soon.
…This is going to be very amusing.
Yes, way more terrifying for Colin is the chance that Puck will find the baby before he does.
I would’a thought, if he *really* really had to go, that it’d take longer than thirty seconds. But he *is* young…
The force of that flow can be incredible, man.
Then again, Colin did say “Oh, poo.” Maybe he still has to go.
Oddly: this year’s Ignoble Prize In Physics (?) went to a team that discovered mammals take 21 sections (plus or minus) to empty their bladders.
“Duration of Urination Does Not Change With Body Size,” Patricia J. Yang, Jonathan Pham, Jerome Choo, and David L. Hu, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 2014: 201402289.
http://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/
God bless them and their ceaseless pursuit of knowledge.
Their *bladders*, yes…
Yeah, I’m among the people to whom “no kids, no opinion” applies. But still: leaving your kid alone for 30 seconds *indoors* and *in the streets* seem a tiny bit different to me. But again, I don’t have a kid, I wouldn’t know:P
Let me tell you some anecdotal evidence, man. I take my kids to the park, the pool, Tim Hortons, anywhere, and I’m consistently surrounded by parents who put 100% of their attention into their phones. They’re never even looking at their kid. They’re liking pictures of roast beef on Facebook. And I’m one of the only parents NOT on a phone, because I don’t own one. But yeah, even if they’re there in body, I’d posit that 90% of parents mentally take leave of their kids most hours of the day.
I wonder how many of those parents phone and drive (not talking on the phone stuff). Bastards should be charged with D.U.I.
It’s illegal here, actually – driving while using a phone.
Illegal enough to be pulled over and ticketed?
There’s a print ad from about 1950 that shows a bunch of baby carriages and small children left unattended out in front of a grocery store while the moms shop inside, and the ad copy begins, “It’s a pretty good sign when you see a pram parade lined up outside a store, that mothers are inside doing a smart bit of shopping. And we blush with pride because so many of these mothers choose A&P as the place to stretch those slim, just-getting-started-household budgets.”
Apparently that used to be a common practice. Do a Google Image Search for “babies outside super a&p”
Exactly. Once common practice. Any safer back then? Probably not. But still, common practice.
He shoulda just gone in the bushes.
He did!
And now, a little in his pants!
If he was just going to use the bushes he should have kept an eye on Miranda while he was peeing. Who’s going to try stealing a baby from the crazy guy who’s peeing while chasing after you? And how did someone manage to take her without her crying?
Well, you know babies: they’re always quiet when they shouldn’t be.
I’ve heard people say that;
If your kid is quiet they’re up to something.
Always true. My daughter is always noisy, except when she’s broken something or caused some major problem.
Oh Colin. I love the subtle reaction of “Oh poo.” It made me laugh way harder than it should have. It also put me in mind something Winnie The Pooh would say. 😀
I bet Puck’s got her and is going say something like “Looking for something?”
I thought of various lines for panel four, but nothing seemed quite as funny as the most subdued option.
Or ironic, since he just went number 1.
I am now convinced that you don’t have children.
He does. The gecko is a father twice over at this point.
And this is what’s known as “Murphy’s Law”. Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
I would go for “tease the devil”, myself: “of course nothing will happen while i’m very shortly, not quite far, away. What could possibly go wrong ?”
The much scarier truth is that I do.
That’s one of the most disturbing things I’ve heard this month. Right up there with Playboy not publishing nude pictures anymore.
At first, I didn’t believe it, but yes, Playboy is going to stop publishing nudity. But really, in an age where you can get stuff that is MUCH more graphic on your cell phone, who needs a magazine for it?
It’s a Sign of the Apocalypse. If the Cubs win the World Series, we’re done for!
Considering that all of my foreparents employed childraising techniques that would now promptly land you in jail, I approve of this humor. 🙂
It’s funny how quickly certain practices go from ‘standard issue’ to ‘criminal negligence’.
hasnt this guy heard of bottles? ahem
Peeing into a bottle is probably the best way to get yourself booted from an amusement park. (Right above peeing in the bushes, but still, it’s a little worse.)
Dead man walking, give him some space.
He doesn’t need space. He needs an escape route.
An escape route… to space! It’s the only place he’ll be safe from Puck.
I stop reading for a couple years, and what happens? Baby gets kidnapped. I can’t look away for a second. :T
Joamette, my friend! So nice to hear from you! You sort of disappeared from dA a while back, and now I see you’re over at Tumblr, where all the cool kids are. I really need to get an account there.
With little kids it doesn’t even take 30 seconds. Once they learn how to crawl if you want to keep them then you had better put them on a leash.
I preferred to leave them strapped in the car and do all my business through drive-thru windows.
Give the context of the strip, “doing your business” through a car window takes on a whole new meaning.
Man, if they had a drive-thru for that, I’d be happy.
Interesting thing: tell an employee at a Disney Park that your kid is missing and you will see a ridiculous number of security personnel appear out of nowhere to help search. My niece was found in less than 10 minutes despite the fact she was actively hiding from us. SHE thought it was funny (6 year olds are evil)
Something akin to that will be coming. Maybe not the ridiculous number of security personnel, but competent help will be on the way.
Papa Shnorf?
Wait, you said competent.
Hey, you don’t know how competent he is or is not yet. So far he’s been VERY competent at standing around.
Department stores and malls are like that too. They take missing children VERY seriously.
I did that as a kid constantly. My mom would look away for five seconds, or even just blink, and I’m gone like Batman. Off wandering and checking things out. She eventually had to put a leash on me.
I wonder if Colin will call the police and file a missing persons report.
Hey, Colin, my Inner Idiot says, “Start running now!”
That’s your inner genius, actually.
This is my greatest fear whenever I go out with my 2 year old daughter.
Wow, kid’s two already? Crazy! And yeah, I think this is a constant fear for everyone. Even worse, I think we all fear that it will be our own idiocy to blame. Like here.
She actually turn three next month, and can run circles around me and mommy. Thankfully she appears to be voice trained to the word STOP!!!!!!!!
If she stops when you tell her, that’s nine tenths of the battle. I haven’t managed that with my daughter yet, and she’s six.
Gah! I’m all caught up now!
It’s a terrible thing, because the comics come WAY slower from this point on.
I think the Mama grow guy was a con artist.
By the way, I like the “Anklebiter Kingdom” sign.
I’m just gonna leave this here real quick: My Puck book arrived a few days ago (shipping took ages, but there’s nothing you can do) and it’s flippin marvelous. The comics look so great in print, even the old ones and I do like the art actually. It’s got a charm to it 😉
Thanks for the sketch of Phoebe you put in the front! Overall, REALLY worth the money, so many comics… If there’ll be a volume 2, I’ll buy it!
Whew! So glad it finally, FINALLY arrived. That’s ground shipping across the Atlantic for you. It sucks. I’m so glad that you like the book, though. And there SHALL be a volume two. After comic 400, I think. Though that’ll be a while, I guess.
“Ground shipping across the Atlantic”? How does that work? The driver puts on a scuba suit and drives his UPS truck across the ocean floor? Talk about flooding the engine!
It’s a thing. Seriously. When I went to the post office, she said, “That’ll be $10.50 ground shipping or $45.00 by air.”
“It’s in Germany,” I stated, obviously confused.
“Yeah,” she acknowledged. “Ground’s going to take a while.”
She never explained the whole ‘Atlantic’ thing. Though I’m assuming it means that the mail went by boat. Because it took almost two months.
Don’t ever pay for “Air”. It’s a scam.
We deliver a lot of “Air” freight – by putting it on our trucks and driving it to (wherever, usually Chicago) for one of our customers.
We keep telling her not to order it that way, but she keeps doing it.
I think she likes saying she “aired it overnight” to her customers.
Well, ‘air’ in this case had an ETA of under a week, and ‘ground’ had an ETA of six to eight weeks. So there was a difference. But who wants to pay twice the price of a book to ship a book? Why are shipping rates always so insane for regular people but not for giant corporations? WHY?
Volume.
I hope the Puck book includes the vote comic in which Puck is a Green Lantern.
That’s only in the PDF incentive book. Which I could, theoretically, put into print, but I haven’t because I didn’t think anyone would want to buy it.
A voting incentive book might be a worthy project, if you could think of a plotline to tie it all together.
“We put on bikinis and then we turned into Legos?”
Well, right now, it just exists as a color PDF collection. I doubt it’ll go beyond that. But crafting a dumb narrative sounds like fun.
OMG I love that silent movie effect you’ve made for the panel. The piano music instantly kicked off in my head as I read that.
You’re the first to comment on that. And yeah, it was one of those panels that was more work than I expected. I’m glad the piano music played in your head, because that was exactly what I was going for.
I can’t help but think that the fact he was urinating in public (albeit in some bushes) is going to exacerbate the trouble he’s in…
… Well – officer – I was peeing in the bushes and –
… You were WHAT?!?
Yeah, amusement parks don’t take kindly to peeing in the bushes. It’s sort of a ‘big brother’ environment.
Fun fact. Urinating in a public place (I.e. anywhere that’s not a restroom) can get you on the RSO list in the U.S.
That’s right, you can become an offender by peeing behind a bush.
Silent movies were in black and white as I recall.
pretty sure once puck finds out Colin’s gonna need a new head for his beard.
Well, as long as he has somewhere to put the beard, he’ll be fine.
Two problems dealt with. Score.
O M G
The MAMAGRO GUY from #64 has clearly claimed his due.
ARUGULA !!
“Baby come back!
You can blame it all. On. Me.
I was wroooong,
and I just can’t liive without you!”
I was about to blame that song on Little River Band, but it wasn’t them! It was … Player? That was a band, apparently?