NEW VOTING INCENTIVE! MORE VOLUME TWO!
Volume Two cover pics keep on coming, so…
VOTE FOR PUCK AND KEEP THE STUPIDITY ROLLING!!!
ALSO…
I recently put a bunch of work into updating the PDF collection of voting incentive images, and the results are finally assembled! This new PDF volume contains all the voting incentives from 2011 all the way to 2017 (including some that never even ran) in a print-ready high resolution! That’s almost 200 pages of stuff! So if you’d like to buy a copy, please do!
As for this comic…
This idea came to me some time last week, and it struck me as the funniest damn thing ever. Maybe that’s a bad sign, but the concept of a baby’s first words being “Joe Pesci” just had me giggling uncontrollably for a few minutes. Sure, it’s basically impossible if you know all about speech development and the steps towards language, but come on!
It then occurred to me that all those millennials out there might not even know who Joe Pesci is, especially given the fact that he’s been in semi-retirement since 1999 or so. But then I decided, “To hell with the millennials!” and went for it anyway.
Note: the first draft of thise comic referenced the movie ‘Goodfellas’ in panel four instead of the ‘Lethal Weapon’ and ‘Home Alone’ movies, but I changed it after some thought. For one thing, though Colin is not what I would consider a good dad, I don’t think he’s irresponsible enough to actually watch ‘Goodfellas’ in front of his child. For another thing, ‘Goodfellas’ is actually a pretty damn good movie, so it ruined the irony of Colin’s ‘cultural boor’ quip. And for yet another thing, I thought of those millennials again, and I thought that if they’ve ever seen a Joe Pesci movie, it was probably ‘Home Alone’.
Oh No !
Where’s Daphne !
Up to no good, I’ll bet.
Daffy is never up to any good. She’s lucky Canada doesn’t
have the death penalty. Stay out of Texas, Daffy. State motto: “If you kill somebody, here, we will kill you back.”
Actually, even if you *don’t* kill somebody, you might end up murdered by the state. We execute more innocent men than most states execute in total.
Can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. 😛
“COLD PLASTIC SYNDROME AND YOU” ?
Ohhhh…. misread it…..
“GOLD PLASTIC SYNDROME AND YOU”
Now THAT makes sense !
If I’m putting text that’s barely readable into the comic, I use it as an opportunity to insert crap that is meaningless to everyone but me.
Joe Pesci?
What, you got a problem wit dat?
@EG
Your’e Funny
@EG
You’re funny
(I can’t believe I’m the first to say that)
Aw, Miranda looks adorable. If I could assume I would have a child as lovely as her, I wouldn’t talk of cutting my throat if I get pregnant. JUST KIDDING!
We all vote you potential mother of the year.
Oh, and I wanna know where Phloebles buys the jeans with the opening in back for her tail. Asking for a friend.
It finally happened, didn’t it? You’ve threatened to kill so many fictional characters that you’ve finally turned into a demon yourself.
I assume they’re normal jeans, custom altered. I assume.
@EG
Being spawn of hell, Phoebe’s Tail prolly just BURNS thru earthly fabric.
If Pholeble’s tail is red hot, that barb on the end would ending up showing more that she would want. I don’t even wanna think about her panties. They are probably on the wispy side
@Susan
Now I’m thinking about her panties.
Purrrrrrrrrr……
Getting the barb through the hole in the jeans might not be a problem, assuming it is mildly squishable or the jeans are stretchy. Taking the jeans off would appear to be a problem since barbs work to prevent just that sort of thing.
Perhaps there is an invisible zipper (covered by a vecro’d patch?).
Or perhaps she just tears the jeans apart. After all, she never wears the same outfit twice (other than her Howler’s pants, and if those could be ebay’d).
Assuming her undies are some variation on a thong, there would have to be special accommodation for the tail. For some reason all the thongs any of my ex’s owned could be as skimpy as skimpy, but they always had a little triangle in the back (where the waistband joined the vertical stabilizer) that covered the tailbone. (Any amount of gluteus is ok to show off, but not a hint of tailbone – what’s that about?) Obviously that wouldn’t work for Phoebe but she – or whoever designs her outerwear – seems to have the creative ability to design around any problem.
I don’t suppose we’ll ever find out. Some mysteries are best left mysterious.
1) The barb on the end of the tail is quite flexible, seeing as it’s soft cartilage, like your ear. So Phoebe could easily roll it to squeeze through a circle-shaped hole, and do the same thing to extract it. Not that hard. Also, the tapering of the tail means the base is much wider than the tip, so getting the barb through wouldn’t be that hard if the hole were (as it looks to me) 1.5″ wide.
2) Phoebe HAS worn a thong-like bikini before, and simply worn it with the top of the thong tucked under the tail. Her tail seems to attach at a relatively high point, around mid-sacrum, rather than the bottom of the sacrum (as would actually make more biological sense), so the under-tail tuck would work with some low-rise undie options.
3) The fact that I like to theorize at length about this topic is telling.
The alternative is for the rear triangle of cloth to be *just* large-enough to allow a 1.5″ tail-hole, which would accommodate a more anatomically-correct tail. This would also permit the tail to help keep the thong from falling.
That’s a brilliant idea, really. And I might have drawn that before; I’m not really sure. It’s hard for me to keep track of all the times I’ve drawn Phoebe in a bikini.
I checked, and I HAVE drawn that exact design on Phoebe in one of her notorious leaderboard ads: tail hole in the middle of a triangle of fabric. So great minds think alike.
Yeah, whatever, but Salem was theorizing that her tail burned a hole in the cloth of the jeans because it was “red-hot.” If Salem was wrong, mirabile dictu , then Phloeble’s tail is not “red-hot,” and she could just gently insert in whatever tailored eyelet had been created, by herself or some tailor outside the strip. QED.
The tail is NOT red hot. It is obviously not even red.
See! I win! Nya-nya-na-na-nah!
@Susan
I am NEVER wrong.
It’s just that English is a fluid language.
@rewinn
Phoebe SELLS her Used Pants on eBay ?
Quick – I just hacked Baldie’s PayPal – what’s the Item Number !
Hey, I just thot of the No.1 terrible comment that the BOORS at HOWLERS bark at her “Hey, BayBee, you HORNEY ?”
Aww, that should have bee the WOLVES at Howlers.
😛
It’s just that in Panel 4, EG pretty much defined BOOR as the meme of the week.
Funny like Bozo but not Cookie funny, right?
Gecko.
Damn the millenials, and full speed ahead.
Let’s be old codgers and Charleston all the way to the grave. It’ll be the bee’s knees!
@pat
Funny like a Clown ?
Yeah, like PENNYWISE.
I’d put the original source for the Joker up against anything King can do any. Day. Of. The. Week.
@pat
I’m with you.
The original JOKER would kick Pennywise’s ass.
I chuckled at the comic (mostly due to the “uncultured boor” comment).
I’m somewhat surprised to hear someone liked Goodfellas – most people I speak with about that movie just groan and ask me if I’m sarcastic when I say I like it. Weird.
Enh, those mob movies are their own things. I don’t like them but I respect them.
@EG
I don’t even like “The Godfather”.
Is Collin also reading her the credits?
Yes. Yes he would be. I personally assume Colin is the type of guy who talks up the movie and the actors all the time. He’d say things like, “Now Joe Pesci, there’s an actor for you!” I have an uncle who does that.
Love it! I read it a few times and it made me laugh more, the more I read it. I guess, “mycousinvinny”. Would have been a stretch 😉
Yeah. Though MCV is definitely my favourite Joe Pesci movie. That may or may not have anything to do with Marissa Tomei’s prominent role in it.
You should have used the “My Cousin Vinny” reference in the the fourth panel over Lethal Weapon even though maybe only two “Yutes” would have gotten the joke. – Oh, I meant to say “Youths” there…
You may be right, sir.
That is adorable! 🙂
Don’t complain, Puck. At least she didn’t say “Missatee“. 😀
I can only go to the Mr. T well so many times before it runs dry. I didn’t want to risk it.
It would truly be a crime is that ever happened.
It’s a well the whole community relies on. We can’t drain it.
Mr. T was on Twitter saying that his pastor had invited him to do a sermon for his church. Now that is a video I’d watch.
Susan, I saw an interview where he stepped out of character. He can be quite articulate when he isn’t all “pity the fool” and such. Although, come to think of it, he surely could get the congregation’s attention that way. I guess I agree with you.
dont do it if you want your nerfatuation with mr t intact id advise you he prolly wont be blinged out or speak like mr t
Mr. T stopped wearing the gold after witnessing the suffering of the people in New Orleans after Katrina. He felt it wasn’t right. He sold the gold and donated the proceeds. So no, he’d definitely not be blinged out.
Who cares? I’d just like to hear a sermon by Mr. T. I’m sure it would do me all the good in the world.
@Susan
This guy is totally channeling Mr T.
https://youtu.be/6dZn0D_9VY8
Okay, Miranda was always adorable, however here she’s reached a whole new level. One which will have to be named the Miranda Level, as she’s set the bar to a new high.
Well, I’m glad you think so. I have to admit that drawing babies or baby-like characters is super hard for me. Their proportions are all wonky and I have a difficult enough time drawing adults, so when you make things even weirder, I’m in real trouble.
Your site made a malware attack on my computer when I clicked on it a couple minutes ago. Could be some virus I’ve caught, set off by something or other, but I thought I’d better let you know just in case.
…I have no idea how or why, or what the heck would be going on, or how to fix it, but … thanks for letting me know?
No Malware for me.
I feel left out.
Despite coming here a good 7 or 8 times today it only popped up once.
Not sure whether it could have something to do with an advertiser or something? I’m unsure.
What I don’t know about computers would fill a manual…but I think I pick up something here from one site and something from another and when it’s complete it starts asking for money.
Okay. That makes me feel better? Though if someone else is experiencing it too, it might be a bad ad or something…
There is that recent banner ad across the bottom, the one that blocks full view of the page…
You’re on a mobile device, I take it? Yeah, that happens.
Actually, I was just on a NON-mobile device and it happened too. Must be a new thing that my ad company is introducing. I’ll see if I have the power to turn that off.
Naw, a tower. I’m old fashioned…maybe my anti virus software is, too…
Did it again just now.
now thats great first words for a baby
also malware B.S fun on the website.
That is past adorable. And while I am not a big fan of “Goodfellas” it’s one of those movies that forced me to sit and watch in fascination as I watched it unfold. Pesci’s psychotic and explosively violent character was jaw dropping. His blatant disregard for life caused even gangsters for whom death is a daily part of normal trade to take revenge on him because his rage and lack of self control caused him to take the life of an “untouchable,” a “made” man. The other two leads, Robert DeNiro and Ray Liotta made a group of anti-musketeers. Goodfellas, like Godfather, gives mortals a supposed peek behind the curtain into the world of organized crime, mafia, and the chilling way that death is handed out regularly, suddenly, sometimes matter-of-factly, sometimes coldly, sometimes with horrible anger and vengefulness. People are fascinated by looking in on people who live with violent death every day. Wow did I get long winded on this one. Huh. Anyway, Miranda is a doll. ^_^
I’ve never been a big fan of the mob movies, but I get their appeal. The Godfather, for instance, is not my movie. Neither is Part Two. I’m just not a gangster guy, I guess. I do like Joe Pesci, though.
I liked “The Godfather, Part One (and two)”, but don’t get all those paens saying it was one of the greatest movies of all time . I mean, it ain’t “Casablanca” or “Citizen Kane.” Nobody liked Part three except Sophia Coppola. Goodfellas left me cold, but I did like “Once Upon a Time in America.”
And now I can’t help but try and think of worse movies to watch in front of babies just learning to talk…
Snakes on a Plane.
(“Yeah, you tell ’em, Sam!”)
Babies are surprisingly forgiving about what you watch. They don’t have very discerning tastes until about one and a half, where they suddenly sort of understand what’s going on, and comprehend the idea of ‘scary’ or ‘boring’.
One of those observations that only seem obvious after someone says it once:
Toddlers tend to learn the bad words first (and repeat them more, to their parents’ dismay) at least in part because people tend to put stronger emphasis (and in some cases considerable volume) on those words when we say them. They are expletives and emphasizers; of course we naturally say them stronger.
…And unfortunately, that’s how the kids know which words are the important ones. ^_^
True. Very true. And I might have done the ‘profanity as first word’ thing, but it’s been done so much in so many other movies and shows that I decided to avoid it. Though it certainly does have basis in reality.
Good call.
“JoePeshi” is much funnier and more random.
What is Colin reading, by the way? I can’t make it out.
It’s entitled “Gold Plastic Syndrome and You”. That will be meaningless to 99.99% of the population. Actually, I should add a few more nines to that.
@EG
99.98 now
DIE GOLD RAZORBEAST !!
It really is a scourge of the modern era. The United Nations needs to do something about it.
There is a “Transformer Collectors Community?” Who knew?
The statement “There is a ________ community? Who knew?” can be applied to any interest/pursuit/mark of weirdness. There is always a community. Always.
*hides*
Miranda is lucky to have a father that introduced her to one of the GOAT action movie franchises.
When my son was her age, only The Waterboy movie and WWF Wrestling kept him quiet.
And then the calls from his daycare teachers started from him trying to pull off punching and stomping the floor at the same time on the other boys. 😀
Good times.
Wrestling is a great instructional tool for children. So much to learn.
Thank you for doing this. And thank you for making it funny.
My dad passed on from cancer in ’98. I had heart surgery in ’15. It was weird, but nice seeing surgery and cancer dealt with this way. I’ve stayed up MUCH longer than I should have to finish this chapter so I could tell you that.
Thanks.
Well, glad it worked for you. It came from a real place, real experiences. And I tried to build on those and make it funny.
🙂
It shows.
But I was out like a light. No halusinations at all.
The hallucinations were a creative embellishment. Most anesthesia just knocks you flat out like a light switch turned off.
O.K. Thank you.
When is the Joe Pesci marathon?
Any day you want.
Her shoes in this one remind mt of hoofikins.
Just badly drawn heels is all.
Badly drawn heels . . .
Or expertly themed footwear?!