NEW NOVEMBER VOTING INCENTIVE!
It’s Thanksgiving for 90% of my readers, so that means weird Phoebe cosplay! If you’ve ever wanted to see a devil girl dress up as a sexy pilgrim, then, well, I think it’s safe to say that this is your only chance. Better vote while you can!
VOTE FOR PUCK! SAY YES TO THE BLUNDERBUSS!
As for this comic…
American readers, know that I am aware Phoebe’s statement is not applicable to many of you, and that thanks to your sacrosanct Second Amendment, nothing stands between you and your glorious right to bear arms. This comic is set in Canada, though, where the right to bear arms does not exist. Up here it’s a privilege to bear arms, you hear? And they won’t give a license to just anyone. (Actually, to be honest, I think they kinda do give a license to just anyone; it’s just that they demand that hoops be jumped through first. We like hoop-jumping in Canada.)
I also realize that the ‘gun control’ element of this comic might make it frighteningly politicized in the eyes of some, but whatever. It was the funniest joke I could come up with. I tried out analogies to alcohol or other controlled substances, but the ‘self-defense’ angle was too good to pass up. Because high heels are not like beer, or painkillers. Heels are a weapon. Heels are always a weapon. Metaphorically and – in rare instances – literally.
What. The gun analogy works. She can’t wear heels.
Besides, now I’m kind of curious as to what Phoebe’s gun store would be named, how it would look, inside and out.
It would sell left-handed weapons – like the blunderbuss in the incentive.
It should be noted that I am left-handed and have a habit of drawing left-handed actions or objects without even knowing it.
Left-handers unite!
It’s why all my characters are seemingly ambidextrous. I can never get the rights and the lefts correct.
*Leftie fist bump!*
Eh, many comic characters are seemingly ambidextrous, mostly for panel setup. Artists go with what’s convenient.
Well, there’s that too.
Good man.
How can you tell the blunderbuss is left-handed?
I’m assuming it has something to do with the side that the flint mechanism is on.
Yes, you want the sparks and flash to be directed entirely away from your face.
Although modern firearms lack Flints and Frizzens, they are often “handed” as well, in regards to where the empty casings are ejected.
There are some shotguns that eject DOWN, but they are a rarity.
I know these things because I have an official Pet License to Carry; One of only Seven in the Nation.
(sadly, lacking thumbs “carrying” is pretty much all I can do)
For modern weapons, it’s pretty easy to tell when something’s made for a right handed user; the side on which the cartridge ejects. You want the cartridge to eject away from the face, and for a right handed user, it ejects out the right side of the gun. But for a left handed user, a regular rifle ejects into our face.
And now that I think about it, that’s probably probably why I didn’t do too well while shooting back when I was in the military. :/
Eject out the left side of the gun when you’re right handed. Combining two thoughts into one when typing. So good for being understood! 🙁
@Hitokiri Akins
You had it correct: A right-handed firearm (which is most), ejects spent casing out to the right.
SCARY THING – DO NOT LOOK
For the M16 (or AR-15), the military had a left-handed firing adapter which supposedly deflected the brass straight down. After the fourth time I got hot brass down my shirt, I became a right-handed firer. I feel ya, Hitokiri.
I feel ya too! What with … all my experience … with high-powered firearms … that I’ve seen on TV. I own a G1 Megatron that transforms into a passably convincing Walther P-38. That counts, right? I’m cool, right?
When my human pet Baldie was in Military Training, he tells me – yes – there was a lot of shooting on 1000 Meter Ranges.
Yes, you know with actually sighting the target and all.
But there was also much “Jungle Training” (Vietnam).
For that training it was emphasized that firefights were very fast, and very close. There was no time or need to use sights at all. The M16 was to be shot from the hip, in short bursts of 3 rounds, naturally directed at the enemy. It was an easy method to learn and accomplish, and quite effective.
And of course much easier on Left-Handed soldiers, as all casings were ejected at waist level.
Fortunately Baldie was never asked to use his training against any living things, something he is forever grateful for.
I am glad you approve.
I’m good for something.
I was about to make a reference to ballet and try to draw “ballet flats” into the discussion (and perhaps even make a reference to Swan Lake or whatever), but Phoebe’s outfits always make me forget what I was about to write.
Mission accomplished.
Daphne flunked her background check.
Yeah, you don’t want to look into that background. Nightmares live there.
As a guy who thinks that heels are very impractical and does not understand how women walk in them, and as an Australian who believes firmly in gun control. I both get this comic, and find it funny.
You could say Phoebe *puts on sunglasses* Put her foot down.
*hears shotgun click* Opps, looks like another failed background check *runs*
I appreciate Australians and their impeccable taste in comedy.
as a girld who would probably end up with broken bones trying to walk on high heels i really can´t understand where daph is coming from – what use are shoes you can´t walk in but only stumble around, ending flat on your butt? thats no confidence boost but a disaster in the making….
still, vallet flats are harsh. why not kitten heels? or even better, ankle boots – even *i* can walk on those!
Well, from what I’ve seen, there are always a bunch of girls who think they can walk in heels when they really can’t. It takes a brave girl to admit that they can’t manage it.
And I personally suspect that even kitten heels might be too much for Daphne.
I’ve run to the bus and lifted heavy items in heels back when I when couldn’t drive and worked as a waitress. It help if the heel on the shoe is a thicker one as opposed to a stiletto. The extra thickness gives you more stability on which to stand or walk on.
It’s why none of my heels are stillettos
Daphne is not as skilled or coordinated as you.
That’s true
i am thinking she wants the heels so she can stab peoples foot with them and say it was an accident
And explain it away as clumsiness! Brilliant!
Maybe a three-day waiting period.
That would work. Prom is that night.
or a mandatory course before you can get your license
For once Daphne actually enjoys something and you’re gonna deny her for “security”? You’re evil, Phoebe.
Evil in the name of safety!
I really appreciate the look on Daffy’s face in the last frame; it’s so unlike her usual blasè self!
When the chips are down, the emotions come out.
There was movement under the table, a small fleshy kind of noise and the drunk suddenly bent forward, colour draining from his face. Probably only he and Moist heard Miss Dearheart purr: ‘What is sticking in your foot is a Mitzy “Pretty Lucretia” four-inch heel, the most dangerous footwear in the world. Considered as pounds per square inch, it’s like being trodden on by a very pointy elephant. Now, I know what you’re thinking: you’re thinking, “Could she press it all the way through to the floor?” And, you know, I’m not sure about that myself. The sole of your boot might give me a bit of trouble, but nothing else will. But that’s not the worrying part. The worrying part is that I was forced practically at knifepoint to take ballet lessons as a child, which means I can kick like a mule; you are sitting in front of me; and I have another shoe. Good, I can see you have worked that out. I’m going to withdraw the heel now.’
Something like that, yes.
Pratchett for the win. Always.
Phoebe is channeling Edna Mode!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xslFCFTUXQU
No capes!
Daphne . . . listen to Phoebe. Listen to the woman who made you that killer dress you are wearing. I know it’s hard, but listen to the voice of experience and fashion. Listen and DO WHAT SHE SAYS!
You are wiser than she.
Just call me “Daniel, her brother.”
As long as the heels aren’t “fully-semi-automatic that can shoot 300 clips per second”, I don’t see an issue. XD
I mean, if the heels are only 9mm, what’s the problem?
@EG
9mm ?
Oh you wacky Canadians and your made-up measurements !
How many “Maple-Leaves” are in an “M&M” ?
M&Ms are inferior to their Canadian counterpart, Smarties. Smarties come in a cardboard box. They taste a little like cardboard. That’s something M&Ms could never do.
@EG
I much prefer Maple Sugar Maple Leaves to M&M’s (or Smarties, I am sure).
Daphne, sorry, but heels will make you as powerful as a young deer on hard, slippery ice.
Exactly.
It depends on the shoe and the wearer. She’s inexperienced with heels and the night of prom is not the time to start. I just hope they shoes have a t strap for a more retro touch to go with the dress
I mean like this one
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71PXadkY7oL._UL1500_.jpg
They don’t have a strap. These are just slipper-types. Entirely practical and unremarkable. But will facilitate walking.
And this comment makes me flash on the scene in “Bambi”. No, not the one where Bambi tries to walk on ice – the one where Bambi learns the danger of “Man is in the forest”.
I like how she claims she needs heels for self-defense. I’m 99% sure she could probably horribly wound someone even without them…
Unless she wants to pierce a foot. Then she does.
Always go for the feet.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CombatStilettos
@Wyvern
EXCELLENT
Graphic Novels are not Textbooks – they are Entertainment.
Actually, in my haste, I linked the wrong page. The one I was looking for was http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShoeSlap, although the name and page image don’t match what I had in mind. I was thinking of cases where high heels are used to stab someone.
Happens in real life. Remember when Tawny Kitaen (aka the girl on the car hood in that Whitesnake video) kicked the crap out of then-husband and Cleveland Indians pitcher Chuck Finley? Inside a car? Apparently he had multiple puncture wounds in his thigh from her stilettos.
Phoebe needs to remind Daffy that she may be the very first member of her lineage to even WALK on two legs.
CFM’s are definitely pushing her luck.
Unless she’s a werewolf. Remember that theory?
@EG
So High Heels it is !
It reminds men of The Incredibles with, “No capes!”
It wasn’t intentional, but subconsciously I’m sure it was the direct inspiration.
I’m probably in the minority, but heels aren’t that bad to walk in. It really depends what you’re starting with. That said, stilettos aren’t a beginners shoe. Daphne could do fine wearing a shoe with a heel that is short and wide because wider (or chunky) heels give you a lot more stability.
I would agree with you, but Daphne is exceptionally challenged on this front. I don’t think she’s worn anything except sneakers … ever.
No you’re right. Now wouldn’t be the time to start. A lot of girls abandon their heels anyways so its probably for the best.
Exactly. So many of them only stumble on their heels for about ten minutes before they kick them off and go barefoot for the rest of the evening. It always fascinates me.
In the US, the gun shop owner would see the crazy eyes and think “I bet I could sell this guy extra magazines and more ammunition.”
“Hey, it’s our wild-eyed nutjob discount day, friend! 10% off everything in the store, just for you!” Yeah, I could see that.
Something that just occurred to me… Phoebe says she’s seen Daphne (try to) wear heels before. When did *that* ever happen? I would think that high heels would be anathema to her usual taste in clothes (I think this is the first time we’ve even seen her wear a *dress*).
You didn’t see that time in the shoe store? In the mall? It didn’t go well.
I didn’t think she’d feel powerful while flat on her face.
It’s a unique form of power.
Daphne just needs to train under a hispanic mom.
And those flats will can be a deadly weapon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PH5rkSG_Hqk
Fun true story. I used to run a diner in a … surprisingly nice part of town. Police were called and blood was splattered after an alcohol fuled argument got crazy and a stiletto was used as an attempted murder weapon. There was an amazing amount of blood for some high heels.
There is an amazing amount of blood for pretty much any puncture wound. I can only imagine.
High heels are supposed to make the butt stick out more, so it becomes more shapely and sexy. ( I learned this from writers Barbara and Allen Pease.) On the negative side, they are hard on the back and like Daphne went through at the shoe store, make it easier to fall. 😕
It forces a whole bunch of muscles to tighten when you wear heels. Yes, the bum is involved, but the most dramatic difference occurs in the calves. I approve of their effects, but not the health hazards.
@EG, I agree. I think we both agree also that health hazards are something Daphne seems to care little or nothing about. She just wants to demolish what she perceives to be her opposition, namely Hannah, Tyler’s date to the prom. Now I’m wondering what kind of shoes the flappers wore. Maybe she can be convinced to wear them, or as close as possible, to make an authentic impression.
I’m a strong proponent of second amendment rights and I see no problem with the joke at all. I thought it was funny and not political. But then, I have a sense of humor. Any readers you have from the “That’s not funny” party may differ
Well, I appreciate your open mind and sense of humor, good sir.
Don’t you hate it when your in a party that just isn’t funny? No light shade, no whipped cream pie fights, no whoopee cushions. Not even a surgical glove as a temporary chapeau. Just people whispering on a radio show talking about Schweddy’s salty chocolate balls.
When typecasting traditional attire, it’s best to remember this sage advice–“NO CAPES!!”
Exactly.
Not even half-inchers?
Oh, that’s right.
“We like hoop-jumping in Canada.”
I’m sure it keeps you guys limber. So long as it still gets you someplace.