NEW MAY VOTING INCENTIVE UP NOW!
More bonus car wash comic stuff! Good times!
VOTE TO BE SO VERY, VERY KIND!
As for this comic…
I know they’re now referred to as ‘candy sticks’ in all marketing to avoid the wrath of parents’ groups everywhere, but to me they will always be known by the original name. Also, in my mind, they will always have the red tip.
you know, this strip kinda makes sense to me – given phoebes figure the woman got to be on a perpetual diet, so its only logical that anything sugar-related is her ‘worst’ vice and greatest ecstasy.
i´m kinda curious about papa shnorfs plentyful offerings though – is his car a rolling bar or what?!
I don’t know really if Phoebe is on a perpetual diet, exactly. But I liked the idea that sugar is enough to really … alter her state of being.
As for Papa Shnorf, he’s either got a cooler packed with ice in his trunk, OR those beers are really warm. Ew.
Read the opening section of “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.” I imagine PS’s trunk looking like that, without so much blotter acid and either.
Exactly.
I bet he’s got at least a pint of raw ether. Like that opening said “.. once you get locked into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.” He’s already well-stocked on the brews and the vapors. From there, it’s only a matter of time.
Papa strikes me as a guy who stops at the vapor and the brew. Dudes who go harder tend to lead with the harder.
Pity, I can see Phoebe enjoying a nice snifter of cognac. However, this is hella more funny. (Don’t let Daphne or Colin near Papa Shnorff, though. I headcanon that our underage princess would drink Papa under the table.)
Colin, I believe, would imbibe rather heavily. Daphne, meanwhile, I doubt would be so careless. As a devoted con artist, I feel like she would avoid anything that could potentially dull her wits.
I think that she would be more like Dr. Johnny Fever from WKRP. The booze actually made him react FASTER rather than slow him down…
That’s advanced drunk guy stuff. Doubt it would apply here.
The red tips are mandatory.
Indeed.
Yes, they are. But I did find these
Those are $0.08US a stick.
If sugar is Phoebe’s drug of choice.
Then things are about to get crazy.
phoebe on sugar high….RUN!
Things ARE about to get crazy.
“Get”, you say…?
@Rock
It is going to get Phoebe crazy!
I’ve been looking at Papa Shnorf these past few strips and I keep thinking: “No shirt, no shoes, no service.”
Perhaps that only applies to humans. Papa Shnorf dodges that by being a Shnorf.
Well, when your whole body legally counts as an outfit, I feel that the rules are different.
Can we be really sure he’s wearing a costume?
My point exactly. For all we know he IS a Shnorf. Or believes he is one. If he wears that outfit outside of work it begs the question.
We cannot. But I’m going to assume there’s a real guy in there.
One thing I like about cartoon logic is that you can’t just have the cigs appear from nowhere/hammerspace; they have to come from a purse which itself appears from hammerspace.
I don’t know why that makes more sense, but it does.
I feel like Phoebe is classy and wouldn’t be the type to slip something down her sleeve. She would carry it in a little handbag. Anyway, there’s been a long, storied history of backpacks, bags and clutches appearing out of nowhere in this comic. It is an artistic license I stubbornly cling to.
Just make sure it’s regularly renewed. You don’t want to be liable for fines.
Besides, she’s the daughter of Satan and life-extended Elizabeth Taylor and her best friend is a 630+ old fairy of ancient lore with a Daphne as her adopted daughter and THIS is the thing that’s going to take me out of the comic? Hardly.
I like how ‘a Daphne’ is the best descriptor for her. Can’t argue with that.
Until we find out what her species is, anyway. ^_^
We’ve yet to learn the secret of Daphne. Until then, Daphne is . . . Daphne. For good and ill, she is who and what she is until the dreadded exposition.
Or she, like totally fesses up to her feeling for Tyler. or Taylor. One of the two. I’m sure those boys like her too.
“Homo Daphenea,” or possibly “Daphne Sapiens”, appears to be Sui Generis.
And please, no exposition! She was left on the doorstep and has shown no curiosity about the past. A woman is entitled to her mystery if she so chooses.
I shall provide no exposition. Promise. Even when my lack of exposition seems to be the thing that annoys readers the most, I firmly believe that deep down, people don’t want it.
I never needed to know how Han Solo got his name. And now I know. And my life is markedly the worse for it.
Ooh, chocolate cigarettes.
…
Now I want some again.
Curse you, EG. Haven’t been able to find them for like 20 years in Sweden.
They had chocolate cigarettes in Sweden? Whoa. That’s cooler than the candy cigarettes here.
In North America, candy cigarettes are not chocolate. They’re made from this weird, powdery sugar substance. Does Sweden have those Valentine’s Day candies that are shaped like hearts and have words printed on them? If so, the candy cigarettes are made of the same stuff. Also Necco Wafers, if you’ve ever had those. Same thing. It’s this weird consistency – tastes like icing sugar mixed with corn starch.
I do know that candy cigarettes of all types have been declared illegal in many countries. They’re still allowed in most of the United States. In Canada and the U.S., the most popular brand (and the one Phoebe’s holding in panel 4) is Popeye’s Candy Sticks. (Yes, they have a picture of Popeye the Sailor on the box.) They changed the name from ‘candy cigarettes’ to ‘candy sticks’ over twenty years ago to incur less anger from the anti-smoking brigade.
We had chocolate cigarettes like 20 years ago. They were tasty. I liked them.
As far as I know, we do not have heart shaped candies with *words* on them. Normal heart shaped candies, however, is a thing. http://cdn04.devote.se/gallery/big/20150204/a0423284f8cce023f83f38b2b04d88fe.jpg These are the closest thing I can think of.
Nah, those aren’t the right type of candy. I’m talking about these ones: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweethearts_(candy)
They’re gross. But they’re a North American tradition.
@Kaiser
Those look pretty good !
Pink Kush? Blue Dream? I had no idea Papa Schnorf vaped. He must smell like a candy store.
Well, he’s frequently seen with a cloud of … something emanating from that costume, so…
Many a mascot has had vapours escaping their suit, but that’s usually only when they take it off after a hot day…
Well then, vaping inside a mascot costume can only improve the odor then.
I wasn’t aware that candy cigarettes were still a thing. Haven’t seen them since the 80s.
They now go by the name ‘candy sticks’. But they’re basically the same.
I have seen some, recently, with the same parody cigarette packaging from days gone by. Although, looking it up, it doesn’t say “cigarette” anywhere on the package; it just resembles a cigarette pack.
They ARE Candy Cigarettes – ILLEGAL IN THE U.S.A. since 2010.
* as noted by EG *
It’s kinda’ sad, really.
Most US States have even banned NOVELTY LIGHTERS.
At one time I don’t believe a man was allowed to father children if he did not own one of THESE.
You Americans is crazy. You outlaw SO MANY THINGS. Except guns. You can buy those ANYWHERE, but whatever you do, don’t you even THINK about bringing in a Kinder Surprise egg. Now Kinder Surprise, THAT is dangerous!
@EG
I’ll look for Candy Cigarettes in ten weeks when all the Halloween stuff hits the shelf. We also had really gross Bubble Gum Cigars.
Do you still allow Plastic Bags, Straws, and Cups ? They are far too inexpensive and practical for we Americans.
Plus, we have a strong industry in clear-cutting forests now.
No one really knows where all the toxic waste from the Paper Mills go, and I’m pretty sure it is illegal to ask.
Plastic bags, straws and cups are still going strong up here. You have to pay five cents for a bag, and they’ll ask if you want a straw, but they’re still on offer. And Canadians tend to try to be more conscious of such things, so the rule makers feel less need to get all absolute on people. Key example: Happy Meals in American McDonalds restaurants took the fries out and replaced them with apple slices. Fries were no longer an option for American kids. Meanwhile, the Canadian McDonalds decided to give kids a CHOICE between apples or fries, based on the fact that the apple slices were already quite popular and were eclipsing the fries as the most common choice. In the US, though, where no one was ever opting for apples, they felt the need to go more drastic.
Does McDonalds still offer FRIED SNACK PIES ?
Those were so good.
Now they are Baked, and I never, ever buy them.
They even changed the OIL the Fries are cooked in, and I don’t like them anymore, either.
No. Sadly, the pies are baked up here and, like their southern cousins, not worth eating anymore. I do have fond memories of the fried pies, though. So good.
Burger King has poutine.
1983 – 3 children are injured by lawn darts.
1984 – congress banns lawn darts.
2013 (or was it 14) – rumors and anecdotes abound that tobacco companies are using flavored cigarettes to hook children into nicotine adiction. government bans flavored cigarettes, including my beloved Djarum Black clove cigs.
Numerous cases of kids killed with assault rifles.
Thoughts and Prayers, thoughts and prayers, congress pisses on your grave with useless thoughts and prayers.
(2019 – BY drunk posts morbid sh#$ to webcomic when he should have been asleep hours ago.)
Ah, the world of banning, outlawing, not banning, not outlawing, etc. It’s … complex. Admittedly complex, and I can’t really say what’s right. I realized a few years ago that the issue doesn’t even neatly divide down political lines. For instance, left-leaning people like me (it’s not my fault; I’m Canadian) tend to be very pro gun control. We want to control or outlaw them guns something fierce. Meanwhile, the left is very pro the decriminalization of various substances. Which is a little weird. Meanwhile, the right is super pro deadly guns, but super against deadly drugs. It would, to my mind, make more ideological sense for one party to be pro ‘everything legal’ and the other party be ‘control/ban everything’. But they’re not.
Personally, I’ve come to this conclusion: bans need to happen on things that are legitimately egregiously deadly. But when there’s things that are marginally dangerous and probably not a great idea but still appealing to some, I feel they should be legal. They should be culturally discouraged, but legal. I feel that way with both guns AND drugs. And candy. Pretty much all candy is not the best idea, but not egregiously deadly. Ergo, candy should be legal.
Lawn darts, though… Dude, I had lawn darts as a kid. They were an accident waiting to happen. I would totally put lawn darts in the ‘egregiously deadly’ category. But that’s just me.
Do they still sell them down there under the ‘candy sticks’ moniker? Because you can still easily buy them up here. Still a Halloween staple! They’re my favorite goofy retro candy.
I’m getting the feeling that Papa doesn’t want to dance so much as someone to get buzzed with.
And know we know his secret.
Not sure it ever qualified as a secret. We have known for a while that Papa Shnorf likes his ladies, and he likes his buzz. Both penchants are fully on display here.
Can a person be a SNORF and a REPROBATE ?
The two are not mutually exclusive.
Well, his secret WITH the ladies, I meant.
He wants to do the “Horizontal Mamba” with Phoebles.
Is that a new variety of a marajuana?
Has Phoebe ever had a long-term boyfriend? I seem to remember that she is more into casual flings…
Taking a boyfriend home to meet Dad probably hasn’t worked out well for her . . . .
The smart ones probably turned tail and ran right there and then.
The dumb ones… may have tried to get a deal out of him, and were soon out of the picture as well.
@Rock
“turned tail”, eh ?
Appropriate.
She has not. And it’s never been established why. In fact, she’s never really had a clearly established casual fling within the comic either.
I can see Papa Schnorf being totally cool with dating the daughter of Satan.
I can too. Though I’m not sure Papa Shnorf is the dating kind.
@EG
Here’s betting neither Phoebe nor any of us will evah see wat’s in that suit.
We shall see.
SalemCat: “Here’s betting neither Phoebe nor any of us will evah see wat’s in that suit.”
EG: “We shall see.”
It’s the KAT EATER inside, isn’t it ?
(whimpers)
Well, we know Phoebe has a soft spot for ALF.
Ahhh, there’s nothing like that sugar buzz! 🙂
It’s the high that’s cheapest to maintain!
@EG
Until the Dentist gets involved.
Um . . . . when he’s off-duty, is Papa Shnorf a Scout leader? He should be, he lives the motto. Also, candy cigarettes are still being made?!?!?! Wow, now that’s having contacts!
They ARE still being made. And honestly, I could easily go out and buy a bunch if the mood hit me. Just gotta know where to get them. And Papa Shnorf is a Boy Scout of Sin.
Eh-oh.
Phoebe on a sugar high?
Eh.
Oh.
Maybe it’ll be less terrifying than imagined? Maybe?
I have known women to store items in their bra.
Maybe Phoebe hide her purse their.
As she already seems to defy physics.
Well, there’s always been the traditional ‘down the cleavage’ storage option for ladies, but I feel Phoebe is a little too polished for that, and, well, this dress doesn’t really, um … yeah. That doesn’t work here.
I’ll bet Phoebe has a very discreet FAMILIAR who anticipates her needs and delivers when appropriate.
@SalemCat don’t out yourself
@JJR
TRACEEE wanted me to help her babysit Miranda.
Pee-Ew !
I informed her I was temporarily engaged elsewhere.
More on that next week.
And if she doesn’t, you’re willing to submit your resume, I suppose?
@EG
Certainly !
Especially if Phoebe can make a few more bad decisions.
1# Befriending Dafffy – CHECK
2# Befriending Papa Snorf – CHECK
So far my resume would seem to be a shoo-in.
Indeed.
She is such a sweet heart. Clearly a rebel in hell would be a goody toe shoes.
Exactly.
i’ll take a pixie stick and a milkshake shaken not stirred
Is not a milkshake shaken by its very nature? If not, it would not be a milkshake. It would be a milkstir.
The last time I had candy cigarettes was about a decade ago. I got them at the boardwalk of the beach where my family and I were having a get-together. If I remember right, the candy was of a chalky, powdery substance. I don’t think that the tip was red, as if lit up. The box looked vaguely like a cigarette box, but I don’t think that the word “cigarette” appeared on the package.
Now I’ll be on the look-out for these “candy sticks.”
I cannot say they are delicious. But if I have a box, I certainly can’t stop eating them.
Candy cigarettes!? I can’t believe that they’re still available since it was “proven” that candy cigarettes make kids crave real ones. (Yeahright)
@MviluUatusun
And Milk causes Death.
Every single person that has ever drank a Glass of Milk has / or will DIE.
You can still find them if you know where to look.
Just like it’s been proven that playing video games makes kids violent. I know that I just have a hankering for stomping turtles after playing Super Mario Bros.