THE BONUS STORY ARC COMIC CONTINUES! PAGE 7 IS LIVE!
After two years of what the movie folks call ‘development hell’, the Car Wash bonus comic is ready for release! I initially planned this thing to be a print-only comic that would conclude Puck Volume 2, but then Puck Volume Two never really happened due to low (to no) demand, so now I’m putting it as a voting incentive! Yay! Every week will bring a new page, and new pages will be dropping all summer, so please…
VOTE TO WASH THAT CAR REAL GOOD!
NEVER eat a Hot Dog without SAUERKRAUT.
It’s too late to change the trope, but seriously, who eats a plain hot dog? Or rather, who holds a plain hot dog in front of her mouth endlessly without ever taking a bite? Puck does. It makes no sense.
Mebe Canadians have very poor Hot Dogs.
In the good ole USA we have dozens (hundreds) of exceptionally fine ones.
Pork are the best, Beef a close second, even Chicken can be quite good.
But TURKEY ?
AVOID AVOID AVOID
Dude, we have the same hot dogs. There’s no difference. The only difference is that Canadians have fewer rules when it comes to condiments. For instance, I’m pretty sure that in the US you’re only allowed to put relish on hot dogs, whereas in Canada relish is an approved hamburger topping as well.
Some people are snobs. Relish is delish.
Relish ?
ICK
Ditto for PICALILLI.
Try Mayo.
With chopped Onions.
@EG
No odd yet delightful French varieties ?
Well, we (Canadian food industry) DO have tighter quality control regulations than the USA… and yet the uncomfortable truth on both sides of the border is that manufacturers will go right up to the bleeding edge of what they’re allowed to get away with, in order to squeeze just a few bucks more efficiency out of their production chains.
The worst part of a hyper-efficient supply chain though, is that it’s so brittle. As soon as something significant goes wrong (like Covid shutting down businesses for a few months) everything goes absolutely to hell. 7 million livestock had to be slaughtered and left to rot in the ground because there was nowhere for them to be delivered to, and no process to feed or contain them for an extra few weeks before the NEXT 7 million head were due to come down the assembly line. What a waste!
Good point, and pertinent to the topic at hand. This does seem to be an inherent part of our culture that we work to the line and not an inch back. Banks long ago figured out that they could get people going into even greater debt by simply offering them more money for mortgages and the like. And studies have shown time and again that people will borrow as much as they possibly can, no matter what the ramifications are. They don’t look at the realistic limits of their income: they look at the bank-imposed maximum as their target.
No one leaves any wiggle room, because wiggle room means someone else is ‘winning’. Toes on the line, always. It’s going to doom us in the long run.
I try to stick to white onions, mustard and Sriracha for my hotdogs. Hamburgers must have (again) white onion, Sriracha, mustard, mayo, and cheese. I know, that technically makes it a cheeseburger, but there are so few good burgers out there that don’t need cheese that I would rather cover my bases.
You’re consistent, at least.
I’ve actually been told the reverse; never put relish on a hot dog, but it’s great on a hamburger.
Well, maybe I got it wrong? Or maybe there are different strict American condiment rules in different pockets of the country?
In my part of the states, we have hot-dog relish (sweet pickle relish mixed with yellow mustard) and Hamburger relish (sweet pickle relish mixed with Katsup) both made by Heinz! and both are good on either Hamburgers or Hotdogs!
However, My version of a good hot-dog includes chili, Grated Cheese, Diced onions (the more bite the better), yellow mustard, and if I’m in a daring mood, Jalepeno’s.
If you don’t know a good chili dog, you don’t know hot-dogs!!!!
Clearly You’ve never had a Chicago dog.
I am not in any way familiar with the endless variations of fast food that all American cities claim ownership of. They are numerous, they are all tasty, and they are outside my knowledge base.
In Canada, there is only one city that is allowed to put its name on food, and that’s Montreal. It’s claimed bagels, it’s claimed smoked meat, and there’s nothing stopping it from claiming more. All other Canadian cities are strictly forbidden from doing this. I mean, they can put their name on foods, but Canadians will all laugh at them and make fun of them for it. Like the idea of someone saying, “No, you haven’t lived until you’ve had Edmonton fries,” is inherently absurd and worth of mockery. It runs against the Canadian values of humility collectivism. Montreal doesn’t adhere to this because it doesn’t play by any rules. It is a separate universe all unto its own – separate even from the rest of Quebec, and its overwhelming sexy coolness lets it do what it wants.
@EG
Mebe Robin brings that Hot Dog home for some “UNSPEAKABLE PURPOSE” ?
In at least half of the Web Comics, that would be the case. And would cover a month’s worth of episodes 🙁
Fortunately, the “Unspeakable Purpose” here, is she brings it Home and shares it with Hubby Colin.
Swimming with Saurkraut !
Yummy.
In Australia, we call them savs’, and you can have them with whatever so long as you drown them in tomato sauce.
Okay Aussie, I had to look up what the heck ‘tomato sauce’ was. And it’s like ketchup, but not exactly like ketchup, because you Aussies feel the need to be different. I appreciate your sense of culinary freedom, though. You keep on doing you.
@EG
Aussies prolly use CATSUP.
Ketchup has too much sugar in it, we like tangy. Thisguy, dont mention pie floaters or they will barf.
I have heard of pie floaters. Those actually sound good by me. Nice and hearty.
What, in the name of Aunt Jemima is a pie floater?
I have never heard of pie floaters.
But I’m a Victorian, and they are apparently south Australian/Adelaide.
And yes, we follow the British example of taking other culture’s food, modifying it, and making it our own.
Does Puck fall within the range of “humanity?” She looks it, but looks can be deceiving…and then there’s those pointed ears.
Up for debate. Also up for debate whether she mentally includes herself in the category of humanity. For what it’s worth, as the creator of the comic, I feel she qualifies as part of humanity. She exemplifies our foibles and failures so well.
It appears that Puckworld, like the Federation, believes in the fundamental equality of all sentient life.
That doesn’t mean that they don’t do each other dirty, they just all have the same right to do so?
@rewinn
“Puckworld” must be part of “Discworld”.
Still waiting for the crossover issue ….
Panel 1 Puck, Daphne, Phoebe and their token human companion are at the game shop, admiring the cosplay as Rincewind stumbles through the crowd out the door
Panel 2 They really like the Luggage; it follows Rincewind through the door
Panel 3 They chat up the Cat Girl
Panel 4 Nothing is explained. Nothing ever is.
EVALUATION: not really funny but we did see the Cat Girl again so: win!
It would be interesting, to say the least.
Well, she is called a fairy, but let’s be honest, in most of the stories, fey are bigger jerks than humans.
True dat.
@rewinn
CATGIRL MUST RETURN !!!
Fortunately, we in Eastern Mass are blessed with a century-old Hot Dog maker: KAYEM.
I adore most of their product, but the thoroughly un-natural BRIGHT RED dogs are exceptional.
I also like Trader Joe’s white GERMAN Bratwurst. Hopefully with simmered Onions.
Trader Joe’s? Hipster.
We should introduce SC to Denningers.
Best. Sausage-onna-bun. EVAR!!!
I actually don’t prefer their sausages. If I’m in Denningers, I’m getting a Big Rudi schnitzel sandwich.
One thing I love about Hot dogs in the northeast is the bun stule. Its not baked with a crust all around its more like sliced rolls. Buttered and fried on the side, with a split dog also pan fried, with a pickle spear (not relish!) and mustard. The best.
I remember a Canadian writer once saying something like, “Though the world often criticizes American food and calls it ‘junk’, American are passionate about their junk food, and they are deeply passionate about the varieties of junk food available to them.” Every food-related exchange with an American that I’ve ever had proves this to be true.
Don’t moderate me, bro !
NEVER consume a dog with those awful CONEY ISLAND buns.’
Only NEW ENGLAND buns are acceptable.
Dude, Trader Joe’s White Bratwurst on a New England bun? You are eating the most unrepentant hipster dog that ever hipstered.
@EG
Canadians don’t have TRADER JOE’S, do they ?
Trader Joe’s ain’t Whole Foods.
Trader Joe’s has top quality Produce and Flowers at lower prices than Supermarkets, sometimes even Wholesale Clubs.
Even the Hamburg Patties are only $5.50 USD / pound, and are delicious.
California Wine for $2.99, decent Beer for $3.99 a six-pack (I know you don’t drink, but these are good prices).
Interesting Soft Drinks, too. JALAPENO LIMEADE is real good !
They even carry MAPLE SUGER CANDY in season.
However, yeah, the CHEESE seems a bit pricey.
Yeah, fair enough. They’re now the American wing of European grocery juggernaut Aldi, and Aldi prides itself on offering its own unique high quality brand of everything at a great price. And no, we do not have Trader Joe’s. We also don’t have Whole Foods. The grocery store options are limited here (like pretty much everything else in Canada) and most are expensive (like pretty much everything else in Canada). The discount grocery stores here are usually gross and unpleasant. Your best option to save a buck is to do your grocery shopping at Walmart, but then you’re at Walmart and you feel your soul dying a little.
@EG
sad
Whole Foods is in Ottawa, but not Hamilton.
We have three-four giant supermarket chains – Sobey’s, Metro, and Loblaws (maybe Safeway out west). Each of those have discount stores, but they are as clean, and actually have good product in my area, as their main stores.
Then there’s FarmBoy (owned now by Sobey’s). EG, FarmBoy reminds me of The Barn with their focus on good local produce. If you take the time to look around the store, you can get some pretty significant deals. Their house-brand foods are made with real food.
I live in a grocery desert where most options are too far for me to reasonably use as a regular grocery source. But I’ve heard good things about Farm Boy. There’s one close to my parents’ house.
If you have time on your hands, brush butter on both sides of a New England roll, and briefly toast each side.
HEAVENLY.
Woo! Hotdog guy.
Now Puck, don’t be specist. A lot of Fey are jerks as well.
Well, the word is still out on whether she considers herself part of humanity. I do. Not sure whether she does.
I don’t think this is a fair characterization of Papa Snorf. For one thing, he clearly saved the asses of our main characters when they first met him in the theme park. Also, there was no indication that either of them were interested in anything but a one night encounter. It was clearly consensual. There’s a distinction between being taking advantage of and being disappointed with the results of your encounter.
This is obviously Puck’s take, and she’s historically shown a striking inability to look at situations from somebody else’s perspective. So yeah, I tend to agree with you. Papa Shnorf is not a villain. He just … is what he is. But Puck has cast him as the villain in this narrative. Even though really the primary source of the problem is Phoebe’s inability to accept the situation for what it was.
No, no humanity is certainly NOT trash. Certain aspects of it are undesirable and a small amount of it’s lot are bad eggs, but by and large, humanity is decent. If we were trash, we wouldn’t be constantly trying to better ourselves and certainly wouldn’t made it as far as we have. And that’s not optimism, it’s realism.
I dunno, dude. I really want to agree with you. But I’m a confirmed pessimist, and I gotta say that over the past five years, I’ve been a veritable Nostradamus by just anticipating that the worst of humanity will prevail. They always do. And isn’t the world we live in a wonderful place now? Individuals still have the capacity to surprise me with compassion and kindness, but the general population when acting as a unit? They know only fear and anger and hate. I’m done with humanity. I gotta get me a yurt in the Northwest Territories.
My reminder: https://giphy.com/gifs/M36Ch5F27FYPe
That’s where we differ, man. I know there are s—bags out there, but choose to focus on the overwhelming good rather than the occasional pockets of terrible (contrary to what mass media will try to convince you of to keep reading headlines). And it isn’t easy, because sometimes even good people act like s—bags when they’re trying to convince other people to be good, but I know it comes from a good place. Additionally, finding forgiveness and hope for redemption is important. Almost nobody is beyond hope, and nobody should ever give up hope. ❤️
I truly wish I could share your optimism. But I’m going to be over here, predicting the worst possible outcomes for everything and continuing to be proven unfortunately right.
@Sigurther
I agree with you.
The USA (and likely Canada) improves the legal protections of every citizen, with law after law, yet the more we desperately strive to be fair, to promote equality, the more we are condemned.
Now Puck, these people are trying to help Phoebe — by curing her of her naive, kind and trusting nature. For a small fee, of course.
That’s one way to look at it. Though they never will. Phoebe was born this way and she’ll die this way. It’s a curse that you can’t shake, like vampirism. The curse of the good person.
She will die? Isn’t she daughter of Satan? Why would she ever need to die?
Maybe not for thousands of years. But eventually all will pass. The sun goes red giant, the heat death of the universe draws near.
@EG
No way.
Sol only needs an addition of the proper nuclear fuel to continue far beyond its advertised demise.
Initially, automated shuttles will deliver appropriate matter from our Gas Giants to keep it going – easily doubling or quadrupling its life.
By that time, we should be skilled at tapping sources beyond our Solar System, and also be able to colonize distant planets.
Simply surviving is not our greatest challenge.
Maintaining a coherent Society IS.
We see it NOW.
The ancient bugaboos of Starvation and Pestilence are largely behind us.
Yet we seem to prefer to complain rather than be grateful.
Our ancestors, who sacrificed so much to deliver to us such an easy life, are ashamed of us.
Dude, seriously, where you getting your solar info from? The sun needs LESS fuel, not more. Adding fuel to a star hastens its demise because it raises the pressure and temperature. This is why gigantic stars with thousands of time the mass of our sun only last for a few million years. They burn bright and they burn fast. Then they supernova.
If you want to greatly extend the life of a star, you somehow need to siphon gas away from it. This is easier said than done. In fact, it’s way easier to just go find yourself a new star.
@EG
Don’t care.
So send drones to remove mass from Sol.
OR – Create a new Sol.
Science can solve pretty much any problem.
I like the “finest of broken china” line, I may use that in the future 🙂
Mr. Gecko, not all the hotdogs are the same between the United States and Canada. When I first moved to the US I looked and, frighteningly, many of the national brands have corn syrup IN the hot dog, yuck, why? At the same time there are local packers that make quality products, for instance, you may be close enough to the border to find Sahlen’s from Buffalo which is a very tasty dog. I don’t know how you feel about casings, but their natural casing hot dogs are a treat 🙂
You are welcome to the line.
And I will admit that I haven’t really paid close attention to the hot dogs on either side of the border. And don’t Americans put high fructose corn syrup in everything, including things that rightly shouldn’t be sweet? That doesn’t surprise me. Though it does sound tasty…
@Justin
Surely you can, deep in your heart, forgive America’s greatest Culinary Contribution – THE CORN DOG !!
Oh, I love corn dogs, and I don’t think I’ve ever looked to see what might be in them. I just eat them with the assumption that they’re terribly unhealthy.
But this was regular vacuum packed hot dogs (just the meat tube) and they had mixed corn syrup into the meat. I remember for sure it was true of Ballparks, and I think at that store at that time it was in almost every brand except Nathan’s, I’m pretty sure Nathan’s didn’t have it added.
I never look at the ingredients list. I don’t want to know.
If Phoebe has a consistent history of being taken advantage of by the bottom 10% of humanity, then what she’s (perhaps subconsciously) looking for in men are those character flaws that end up getting her burned. If Papa Snorf isn’t her first womanizing pothead (costume or not) fling, then she needs to find people to date who aren’t womanizing potheads.
Girls, you can’t fix up bad boys. Guys, you can’t heal broken birds.
We don’t really know the history here, but if that were the case, I’d definitely agree with you.
I’m assuming that Phoebe saying it’s the ‘last time’ she’d do this, instead of it being the ‘only time’, implies that she’s gone for at least one womanizing pothead before. (And the men in her father’s social circles might include a number of dysfunctional fellows, all things considered.)
I am assuming that this a ‘first time AND last time’ though I think we’re to understand that her previous dating experiences will all equally tragic in slightly different ways.
Ah…. I thought to two of them enjoying a mutually consenting evening together. How was one not wanting to continue the relationship further, a abuse of the other? Me thinks it was because it was the man. Double standard anyone?
Perhaps. But I think it’s more Puck taking Phoebe’s side of the argument without really thinking the scenario through much. One of Puck’s strengths is loyalty, but one of her blind spots is an ‘us vs. them’ mentality that casts the rest of the world as villainous antagonists against her inner circle. Whatever you want to call it, it’s not really very healthy.
A free hotdog with every shrink visit? I find this genius marketing.
Does anyone have car wash #5 they would be willing to share?
They’re on Patreon in case you missed them, but seeing as that one was missed by a number of people due to its midweek start, you can find it here: //www.puckcomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/car-wash-comic-pg-5.png
Shh. Don’t tell anyone.
Y’know, we never did see Papa Shnorf without his costume. Maybe out of the costume, he’s this guy.
It’s not. Though we’ll never get definitive proof, I guess.
@Robert Nowall
Yep, THIS GUY
He’s a master of disguise.
What is Hotdog Guy playing on the tablet?
Transformers Earth Wars. Decepticons forever, man. (Seriously, though, both my son and I play the game religiously. It’s … a problem.)
It’s nice to see HDG again.
Yeah, we’ve got problems. But how many species now that much, eh?
He is contractually obligated to show up at the end of every story arc.
Ooh, he must have a good agent.
Oh, and above should be “And how many species know that much). Sorry.
Psychoanalysis by proxy? Puck’s friendship really goes the extra mile. Puck is also looking hotter in recent appearances.
Yeah, I think the concept of psychoanalysis has totally been thrown out the window by now and the therapy more takes the form of stream-of-consciousness rants. Sometimes it just helps to get it off your chest. And as for Puck looking hotter recently, I don’t know what’s up with that. Because to my eyes, she’s always been hot.
With Phoebe and Tracee attracting customers, I expect Daphne’s take from her car wash will be above average.
Daphne expects that too, I’m sure.
@ChrisH
“above average” = TRACEEE
but Puck isnt human…
Well, she never said that she considered herself part of that equation.
This is EPISODE 555 !!!
You know what that means.
(but i don’t)
Episode 666 will have to feature Pheobe’s dad, that will be on… um… Aug 31, 2022
Honestly, it probably will feature Phoebe’s dad. By that point we’re probably going to be in the midst of a Satan-centric story arc.
@EG
YAY !
(and the Jackal will be gone. hopefully.)
Like the trashy double wedding arc? Wink wink nudge nudge?
It’s coming. Not sure how trashy it will be.
Well, Tracee’s will at least be trashy.
How many times has Satan been married??
Satan has been married somewhere between 10 and 53,000 times. The exact number is hard to pin down, though.
Reused 1000-year-old engagement ring?
Well, why buy new?
Puck has always been attractive; it just seems that now she looks younger and in athletically fit shape. The baby fat is definitely gone.
Well, yeah. Perhaps she looks a little less harried now. Babies do that to you.
@EG, I hope you will have Trader Joe’s in Canada soon. I don’t eat hot dogs often but l trus TJ’s to have good quality ingredients. ( And I don’t have any personal connections with TJ’s.)
Enh, I’m not holding my breath. Canada is where retail chains go to die. Or at least go to fail spectacularly. Witness Target. I don’t know why but the economists say that the Canadian retail landscape is ‘very tight’. That said, the grocery landscape is sort of controlled by a cabal of powerful companies that hold a pseudo-monopoly and jack up the prices. Walmart started to offer grocery stuff and shook it up for a bit, but then they discovered that it was way more profitable to just sort of join the cabal and play by their rules than try to break them. So yeah. Trader Joe’s would be a real shakeup.
Are your Targets dying too? Ours are rolling up their tents this year sometime, at least some of them are.
We lost most of our good bookstores here a while back, at least in regional Oz, sucked big time.
There weren’t any Targets in Canada until about ten years ago, when they made a big push to enter the Canadian market. They stormed in, bought an existing (ailing) chain of stores called Zellers, and opened up across the country. Then they had some financial issues, and less than a year after opening hundreds of huge new stores across the country, they called it quits, closed every store, fired everyone and packed up for good, running back down to the US. So in that process, we lost an existing Canadian retailer through their buyout, then lost Target as well.
I’m sad to hear that the Aussie bookstores aren’t doing well. The Australian book market has long held out against Amazon and demons of international hegemony. They’d long had an active hand in promoting and funding actual Australian writers in Australia. I wonder if that will survive now. Certainly in Canada the American media juggernaut has almost completely subsumed every element of unique Canadian culture.
We have a local Retail Building.
Decades ago it was a local Chain: Caldors. It folded after many years.
Empty for a while, then in came K-Mart. It folded fairly quickly.
Then came in Target. I love Target. I don’t buy as much there as I used to, but would indeed miss it.
I shop a lot at Warehouse Stores: BJ’s Wholesale and Costco.
Are there any Warehouse Stores in Canada ?
Sad. We had a number of local chains that shut down long ago. The Canadian K-Mart (all of them) folded in the early 90’s. The only big one left is really Walmart. There are some upscale department stores like The Bay (basically the Canadian version of Macy’s) but those types of stores are on the ropes on both sides of the border.
We do have Costco, though I’ve never been a member. My parents are avid shoppers there. On my end, I’ve just never felt the need.
The only leg up we Canadians have right now (and one precious to me) is the fact that we still have Toys’r’us. It means a lot because that store for me is my happy place. I have fond, powerful memories of wandering its cavernous halls of joy as a child – toys stacked to the ceiling. Donald Glover had a very apt bit in one of his comedy specials where he summed this up. As a kid, Toys’r’us was the place you wanted to be. And as an adult man-child, I still go to Toys’r’us at least once a week. I hope they don’t close. I really hope they don’t. I will no longer have a place that I can enter and feel a shred of that former joy.
People. People are a problem. That doesn’t exempt me either.
But, it does make genuinely good people a shining rarity.
@LaughingDemon
Genuinely good, hard-working people, of every culture and race, will save the world, despite the roadblocks, arson, assaults, looting and violence perpetrated against them by the evil and selfish.
The proof is how the entire Human Race is better off now than ever before.
Egyptian Pharaohs died in agony from simple tooth abbesses !
Or we get wiped out and replaced by robots. That can be Plan B.
I have a formula: the fewer clothes Phoebe and Tracee wear, the more car wash customers they will get. 😉
Sound algebra here.
@EG
Actually, simple ARITHMETIC.
But you are forgiven.
Your specialty is WORDS, not NUMBERS.
And I must confess my strengths and weaknesses, in a humble way, mirror yours.
The Hotdog Man makes a good point about human nature. File under “sad but true.”
He is wise. Because wieners.
Puck can think of a plan to help Phoebe find a suitable man. Maybe Hot Dog Guy could share some ideas on how to do that.
I met one of those broken shards today. And his little family, who walked into a store where masks were required by the local health department. (One that doesn’t recognize fictional parental figures. ) the family unit walked in with a mask while daddy was just holding his up to his face. Inside, their faces are as naked but not as innocent as their little toddler.
And I also met someone who wrote their mark right into a neighbor’s apartment.
Humanity. ……
I prefer to take advantage of people that know they’re being taken advantage of. To the point that I get informed consent.
(No, seriously. One time I bought a $200 fightstick off a guy for $20, new-in-box; I spent half the negotiation making sure he knew how much the stick was actually worth.)
Now I wanna know what the heck a fightstick is.