Sep07
THE BONUS STORY ARC COMIC CONCLUDES. THE LAST PAGE IS … still here.
It’s the tail end of summer, and that brings to an end the ‘Car Wash Caper’ bonus comic! To see the very last page, head on over to TWC and vote for Puck!
VOTE TO WASH THAT CAR REAL GOOD!
And henceforth is why the Vulcan never approached the Earth. The End.
Phones ultimately mean that the farmer from Babe doesn’t take a rocket ship to space while listening to Steppenwolf’s ‘Magic Carpet Ride’. This has been proven.
Nice.
It’s too hard to walk while using one of those contraptions! For anyone. 😉
Doesn’t stop millions from trying. All the time. And frequently getting hit by buses.
People said the same thing about the original Walkman. And probably transistor radios back in the day.
Dang transistor radio. Can’t get my kid off that thing!
And before that, newspapers. Like, the paper ones. People were reading those instead to talk to each other – was the complain back in those days.
How could one ignore one’s family before newspapers? So convenient for hiding behind too!
They were interpreting what the Sun God was saying.
“He says… *holds hands to forehead*… go clean your room!”
September… Jebus.
I didn’t realize I had fallen this far behind on comics.
I’ll catch up, later. It’s time for bed for this 3rd shifter.
The younger generation will just ride around in those hover-chairs, like in “WALL-E”…
Piloted by their phones! That’s what Bluetooth is for!
God, I wish.
*occasion
(One “S”)
Whoops. Pretty big typo there. I’ll fix it.
Focusing on nearby objects, at a young age, results in permanent myopia.
With a vastly increased risk of Retinal Detachment, Cataracts, Floaters, and Blindness.
Not good – Not good at all.
Take your children to parks, nature, long walks – every day.
This may just help their eyes focus on FAR rather then NEAR.
Definitely going outside is key. Sad fact is that in China a huge percentage of kids need glasses. And that’s weird, because that wasn’t the case fifty years ago. From what scientists can tell, it’s due to the changing structure of Chinese school, that emphasizes study over all else. There’s no time for play, little in the way of ‘recess’ or anything like that. And the lack of natural sun light seems to interfere with eye development.
It’s not “focusing on nearby object” it’s NOT focusing on far away objects. However, remember that “far away” is not THAT far – for the focusing mechanism of eye, 6m is pretty close to infinity. Meaning, most people don’t have rooms big enough, but cinema for example is fine. (Well, except cinema is too dark …)
ok, first we need to rewrite our fear points. it is practically illegal to release kids into the wild to play. the modern ‘take them outside’ is like walking a dog and takes away from the other labor paid and unpaid that has to be done to run/pay for a family. I’m all for it my adult son needs his phone implanted in his arm, but lets be realistic about whats required.
Here is a sad fact.
The Kidneys, Spleen, Liver, Intentines, Heart – are complicated physical and chemical factories.
Yet all these can be transplanted and replaced.
The EYE, conversely, is simple. Every Smart Phone contains an advanced chip, that costs mebe 25 cents.
They have extreme resolution, and could easily be powered by solar panels, built into them.
The problem is EYES are essentially extensions of the brain, and, so far, no effective interface has been discovered.
Would there be any greater boon, than to bring EYESIGHT TO THE BLIND ?
That depends on the blind themselves, as it does on the Deaf in regard to bringing them hearing. I have decades of experience with representative of both classes.
Yeah … transplanting eye wouldn’t be problem, but connecting that roughly million nerve fibers connecting eye to brain correctly, good luck. There are nerves going to heart as well, but it doesn’t really matter if you mixes them up a little. For eye, every one needs to be correct.
@HKMaly
The Human Eye, togther with the Brain, has long been “self-correcting”.
A well-known example is how the infamous “Blind Spot” is compensated for.
It may be possible to install an eye, that has a built-in graphic, self correcting interface. That receives signals from the brain’s visual center itself.
With feedback from the brain’s visual center, the software will connect the proper pixels with the proper nerves.
Another possible advantage is the graphic chip may have many, many more pixels than the Brain can even utilize. Not all would ever need to be utilized to provide useful vision.
Once even three pixels are properly aligned, mapping can commence.
what you demand has been done. at least two blind people have had ‘eye’ implants added. because there’s currently no way to map the apparently chaotic wiring back to the brain. (i.e. where does cone 579 in the 1st quadrant map to) so far the best that I’ve heard is black and white outlines. it appears you are in the camp of the professor who assigned robot vision as a summer project to one of his undergrads. what the brain does with the eye’s input is nothing short of amazing. in short- the hardware is easy. the software/firmware? good luck.
also, as somebody who has worn hearing aids most of his life, the mechanical trick of hearing is the easy bit. people with ‘normal’ hearing do things as a matter of routine that I can’t do even while inducing a headache for the concentration.
@palmvos
The “trick” is adaptive mapping.
You start with mapping three pixels.
The rest are lower, higher, left, right, etc.
The proper software could fill in the entire map, and with user input, improve it to perfection.
It CAN be done.
I just do not “see” (forgive me), enough funding on this problem.
I have never heard any Politician recognize blindness as a problem.
Yet, unlike leprosy (or so many other diseases), impaired vision is very common.
Sadly.
I mean given the age of children getting several hundred dollar phones is getting lower and lower she isn’t far off.
I think it’s crazy, but there you are. I know many parents that couldn’t conceive of not having phones on their kids at all time so they can be contacted or traced at all hours of the day.
thats what reliable 50 dollar simple flip phones designed for durability battery life and signal strength are for now apps ect to kill the phones power or distract you. they can wait till they are at least say a teen/preteen before they get something that cost as much as some basic computers or several months food bill.
I don’t know about everywhere, but in Canada the big mobile companies are making it very, VERY hard to get or use one of those old flip phones anymore. I’m sure you can manage to find a small-time shady provider that will support one, but my wife tried to get a phone like that two years ago and she couldn’t.
So… how do you and the wife plan to tackle the question of technology and internet access with the kids? I figure a simple clam shell mobile phone will play a part in the plan, if tech has any part, but I’m always curious how parents plan to tackle that one.
My kids are considerably older than Miranda. My son is 14 and my daughter’s 11. They don’t have phones. They do have tablets that they can use inside the house. We are ultimately more pro-screen than most in our area. We live in an aggressively ‘active lifestyle’ neighborhood full of people who are convinced they’re raising the next perfect generation of white people. They demand that their children not watch any screens, and only eat quinoa, and various such things. I don’t like these people.
My daughter is glued to YouTube frequently, but she also is more naturally active and plays outside a lot. My son, on the other hand, is a confirmed ‘indoor kid’ whose only real interests have to do with a screen. He also reads books, but … yeah. He’s only outside if he’s forced to go outside most of the time.
We try to strike a balance. It’s never easy. But I feel the ‘no screens for my perfect children’ people aren’t entirely setting their tykes up for a world that (let’s face it) will be pretty screen-heavy in the future.
I am not a control-minded guy with my children. I try to steer them a little on matters that I think are very important, but I think trying to form a ‘unique family culture environment’ that is totally divided from the wider culture outside your door generally leads to problems.
Don’t forget that they will require those screens in order to “attend” school for the foreseeable future. As a teacher, you know this… lol
Oh I do. I do indeed.
Kids without experience with “screen” will end up on bad side of digital divide and will be poor for whole life, just as if they would be illiterate. Sure, spending too much time on screen is not healthy, but neither is being poor.
Curious. What do you base that on?
@HKMaly
You think so ?
At the rate society is degenerating, the ability to shoot at distant “objects” and hit them may become quite valuable.
Sadly.
Interesting. Thanks for following up with a reply. It was very insightful.
@EG
I belive there simply MUST be some way into tricking the eye into focusing on a screen .5 Meter away, while believin git is focusing on a screen 10 meters away.
I understood this at my gym.
While I look at a mirror, no more than 1 Meter away, my eyes are focused on the reflection, which is a wall 8 Meters distant.
Speaking on behalf of all the other Grumpy old men, we thank you for this public service announcement.
There’s a lot of grumpy old men who read this comic. They’re in good company.
Yo! i resemble that! Got a 40-year-old-sprog and a three-year-old grandsprog.
Well, in internet terms, I’m around your son’s age and I’m already considered ‘old’ in this digital landscape where trendsetters are all still in high school. So if there’s any consolation, we are all equally ‘old guys’ in the eyes of the sneering young. They don’t really care how old, just that we’re old.
Ehhh, you’re younger than my mom, you’re fine. And you have a point!
That doesn’t sound encouraging…
My mom can never be old, lol. She’s immortal – she has the Asian Eternal Youth Genes. In my eyes, anyone younger than her is basically my age (in their twenties).
Though I’ve never been the best at judging ages, even in person, so maybe I’m not the best metric…
Well, that’s nice of you to say.
Wow, Miranda can change hairstyles real quick! (2 ponytails vs. 1 ponytail?)
Also, really like your comic!
The phone sucked the ponytail in. It’s part of those terms and conditions that nobody ever reads: the right of the phone company to steal the ponytails of little girls.
There is a second pigtail back there, but it’s hard to frame such things. I had such issues with Daphne for years. She had her hair in two low pigtails, but most people generally thought she had a single ponytail because in most shots you could only see the one side. I don’t have a solution for this, really.
Glad you like, though.
Animation is your friend.
Well, she’ll have to shift position at some point. I’m thinking about her eighth birthday. And the she’ll need a bath before her Canadian prom equivilant.
A bath at some point over the next few decades would be a good call.
Ahh, nothing like the feeling of the world at your fingertips. Distance abolished, the library comes to you. The trick is not getting too caught up in the cat videos, gaming, and internet commenting.
I succeed.. some of the time.
If you want to get a lot of work done, though.. still gotta get to a PC or tablet or some hybrid thereof. Coding on a phone keyboard is doable, but tedious.
Phones are for media consumption, not creation.
What about phone cameras?
Well, they’re great for casual fun. Not many professionals use their phones, though. It might get to that point in the future.
I don’t know. At least one of the channels I watch is shot on a phone.
Between the two of them, Puck and Daphne should be able to work off some of Miranda’s baby fat. She should meet other kids; that more than anything will get her up and moving. it will also help Puck size up other parents as suitable babysitters.
Other parents are always bad. Always. It’s a lesson I’ve learned. Just … don’t even bother talking to them.
But the drama! It would be so good for stories!
Miranda has a wonderfully sardonic mother, in the last panel she sounds like Daphne often does. :))
Well, to be honest, I had a hard time deciding which bubbles went to which character in panel four.
Well, Puck *did* raise her… and one could say they were well-matched in terms of familial connection.
Damn, now I want an emotional mother-daughter arc centered on Daphne and Robin…
Maybe some day. I don’t really have one planned right now, but it’s a good idea. Sounds to me like a good place for a classic ST:NG bottle episode. You know, Puck and Daphne are stuck inside a cave or an elevator or a locked Wendy’s restaurant and actually have to talk to each other for a while. That sort of thing.
Ah, the classic broken elevator scenario. Or stuck in a meat locker, freezing to death, while Tyler and Phoebe have to break in to save them.
My fave bottle episode is the one on the freezing ship from Red Dwarf series 3. Classic.
@EG well IMHO, you made the right choice- I think it’s a very Puckish remark. 🙂
Did you design this dress?
https://img.yoursportspot.com/articles/5kkZMKnqn1JmVwn6gx3TwS/xv9w4bn1thrgi5ta-mob.jpg
No, I only wish I did.
PEEPS BANNED ?
TRAGIC
Now THAT is tragedy.
Well, you could always just tie the phone to a stick and hold it out in front of her…
The ole ‘carrot on a string tied to a pole in front of the donkey’ routine. It gets you moving, certainly.
Watching the language change in front of your eyes is strange.
Children today know that a “phone” is a small hand-held computer (that also sends texts)… and the quirky part is… they’re correct and we old folks who might insist differently are technically wrong in the modern context.
There’s also a button on that hand-held computer with a strange arch-shaped icon that holds no meaning to their frame of reference whatsoever. (I.E. the style of telephone handset that disappeared sometime in the 1980s),
They probably also know that to save their work or files is a small squarish icon that likewise holds zero meaning for them beyond having been told that’s how you Save (because 3.5 inch floppy discs were gone by the mid-90s).
Now with the Internet in full swing, the language changes at such a dizzying pace that there’s almost no purpose to keep up. Which is reassuring, really.
I’d bet any part of a nickle that that was said in the 70’s and 80’s by people who were then about as old as we are now.
Near the end of the 1800s, there was a moral panic that young people were playing too much chess. They purported it would lead to sex and violence.
I like to keep that one in mind every time I hear some idiot politician trying to curry votes from paranoid parents by claiming video games cause violence (in stark defiance of decades of research to the contrary; if anything they help reduce real violence).
Chess is the greatest threat of all.