I may not be a man with great business acumen, but my keen observational skills have taught me this: if you want to get rich REALLY fast, you need to exploit one of the following key demographics:
-the downtrodden
-the fat
-the bald
-the addicted
-the impotent
-the mothers or mothers-to-be
Fathers are not a good market for exploitation; they won’t buy your forty-dollar baby food no matter how many times you tell them it’s best for baby. Fathers don’t care what’s best for baby. They’ll feed baby anything if it will make baby shut up. Mothers, though, will spend seven thousand dollars on a stroller because it’s the “safest on the market,” whatever that means.
NEW VOTING INCENTIVE: PATRIOTIC PHOEBE!!!
So it’s early July, and we’re all in the mood for flag-waving, so I thought it was time to celebrate the birth of everyone’s favorite country with a little bit of patriotic cheesecake! Courtesy of Phoebe!
This voting incentive is no longer available by voting, but you can purchase the pic in the STORE! It’s only one buck for five incentive pics! YAY!
First time mothers, you mean. By the second kid, it’s less “Oh, this pacifier fell on the floor and I need to boil it for an hour!” and more “Don’t you bleed on my carpet! I just vacuumed in there!”
At least, according to my mom.
Your mom’s observations are accurate. I speak from experience.
And First Child gets to be heavy participant in raising Third Child while Second Child complains about being ignored.
And the ultrasounds are pretty neat, even if you’re a guy.
Well, when second kid rolls around, how many squiggle pictures do you need? It’s not like you can tell them apart, really. Heck, you might be looking at a crocodile for all you know.
You guys have to buy your ultrasound pics? Here they print them up and give them to you. But yeah, then there’s the exploitation: I’ve seen special frames JUST for the ultrasound pics, labeled “Baby’s First Portrait” and stuff.
I have all of mine in their baby books. I tell them that they’re their “alien baby pics”. Cracks them up.
Some places up here charge you five bucks for the pics, but this comic was more referring to the clinics that offer ultrasound pic mugs, shirts, beautifully framed images and the like. They’re growing in prevalence. And I find them a little disturbing.
I’ve never heard of having to PAY for ultrasound pictures. What? How weird is that. I live in america, btw. Arizona, formerly from jersey.
But yeah….never ever heard of charging for ultrasound photos.
The cheapo paper ultrasound photos are free. Lots of ultrasound clinics around here now offer t-shirts, mugs, framed ‘high quality’ prints and stuff like that, though, all for exorbitant prices. That was the stuff I was trying to refer to, but I sort of ran out of room for more speech bubble.
I sense a revival of Bronzed Baby Shoes is long overdue.
Maybe a new business opportunity for Satan ?
I’m totally into that. They were a weird, weird thing that really should come back.
I’m thinkin’ some of your readers might prefer actual Bronzed BABIES (you know who you are).
They are quiet, with low upkeep. (no, no, no – I’m just ASSUMING they would be. I’ve not tested the concept.)
In Canada you can get licensed to print money? The Colonel needs to relocate.
Only for medical professionals. Though really, the medical profession’s license to print money works even better in the U.S. so…
“Safest [stroller] on the market”.
Yes… never underestimate the marketing power of subtly threatening children.
It’s a sure-fire emotional blackmail technique.