Sep02
Most of the funny with only 25% of the dialogue! I just made the task of reading this comic even easier!
2ND September Voting Incentive! PAPER DOLL PHOEBE GOES CLUBBING!!!
That’s right! Get into the Victorian hobby of paper dolls – Phoebe style! Dress up our comic’s resident clotheshorse however you see fit! This week we’ve got the clubbingest outfits Phoebe ever wore! Vote again soon to see the next one!
For each paper doll, you can download the printable file (see the text above the incentive image for more info), print it on glossy paper and get cutting!
CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR PUCK!!!
ALSO…
NOOOO!!
this was suppose to be baby day lol
still like this page
FOOLED YOU! (said using distinct ‘Dark Helmet’ voice)
Ahh, I can’t breathe in that thing!
Sh*+! I hate when i get my Schwartz twisted!
Me too.
Okay, I’ll bite. How did an ancient lady like Puck (she is supposed to be several hundred years old, right?) end up in the maternity ward of a children’s hospital? Do they even put maternity wards in children’s hospitals? Let’s see. (Quickly checks Toronto’s Hospital for Sick Children website) Nope! Lots of other programs and centres, but nothing about maternity or reproduction, other than managing genetically transmitted diseases (that comes closest).
I guess once you are able to reproduce, you are no longer considered a child.
You’re overthinking this.
Nah, it’s a legit question. For the record, that big blue sign saying ‘Children’s Hospital’ is on the front of MUMC, and would be visible at that angle, so I put it in there. But I thought twice about changing it, because of this exact reason. I thought it might confuse some people.
Fair enough. And, yeah, I’d draw the building as accurately as possible, too.
Okay, there’s some back story there. She’s at the McMaster (McNiven) University Medical Center, which specializes in all things kid and baby-based. So yes, it’s a children’s hospital, and yes, it has a full maternity ward and specializes in births. I know this well. My wife’s delivered two kids there.
And I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t slap you for that.
That’s…That’s pretty accurate.
I aim for unerring accuracy.
HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE!!!
It’d take a miracle.
That’s why he said it.
Sorry for the OT, but… it just occurred to me that, being immortal or extremely long-lived, Puck has had menstrual cycles every month for the past 600 years and will presumably continue for an indefinite amount of time.
Now Gecko this is just cruel. 😛
O,o’
“Once you’ve thought it, you can’t Unthink it.”
Spank you very much for that knowledge. I really didn’t need to have that running around my head Either. ¬”¬;
Aww man, No Wonder Puck’s so nuts half the time!
Nah, she’s just nuts. We can’t be making excuses for her.
Maybe her ovaries have been affected by Doc Brown’s time machine and have the ability to leap forward every thirty five years when someone in the comic strip is going 88 miles per hour.
That, or 1.21 gigawatts.
*it has just occurred
(yes I’ve come back just to correct this)
As an English teacher, I say ‘God bless you.’
I’d blame the humble humanities degree.
If that were the case, she’s definitely different from a human female.
human females have a certain number of eggs when they’re born, they only have about 20% of them when they reach puberty, they use up some every menstrual cycle, and never replace them.
obviously, Puck has done some replacing.
Maybe Puck only ovulates once every ten years or so. I dunno. Maybe Colin just had really bad timing.
And how long have they been going together?
Over ten years. Had to happen sooner or later.
So… on a scale of 1 to 10, was there a red stapler on the grassy knoll astride the knot in the tree to the pit of despair?
Recent research has shown that the egg-making capability of a woman’s ovaries can continue after the girl has been born, even into adulthood. The “prenatal generate and store” method may not be the only time that egg production is done. Storing 400 or so eggs for decades can seem to be impractical when other options to get fresher eggs is available.
I’m sure there’s a totally scientifically supported theory to explain Puck’s many centuries of fertility. I just don’t have it.
Well true, that’s pretty agonizing. But hey, she’s had a break from the menstrual cycle for the past nine months and she’s STILL crazy.
I think that most women would rather have the menstrual cycle back by the time they get halfway through the pregnancy. A week of bleeding cramps is easy compared to the organ crushing, energy sucking, pain causing parasitic life form growing inside them.
And that’s not even mentioning the birthing process. Although a phrase from the tattoo culture “pain is temporary, art is forever” fits the birthing process. Giving birth sucks, but as time passes, you forget the pain and remember only the aftermath. In my case, aftermath was art. In a mom’s case, a child.
True enough, sir. True enough.
So… your name is Art?
Would’a thought it would’ve involved shrinking ones loins…ah, well…maybe he’ll have a kidney stone and they’ll be even.
He’s Satan, man! Nothing turns him on like suffering!
He can take any pain except his own…
Exactly.
And he sends gift baskets.
I turn 41 in 11 days.
I heartily appreciated readers who are older than me. There are so few of you out there…
LOL Some of us are MUCH older. Hope that makes you feel a bit better 🙂
Yes. Yes it does. Thank you.
Nice flow through the panels with the word balloon.
It was the only way I could communicate the ‘constant scream with dramatic zoom out jump cut’ experience.
Reference to the Princess Bride, huh?
Although, I must admit that I first heard that “ultimate suffering” line from a Spoony Experiment review of Pumpkinhead on PC. A Benzaie throwaway line, to be exact.
You know you exist in a weird post-post-post-modern society when the only way people know references is through other references to references. Oh well. It works.
To be fair, I’ve never seen that movie. But as you know, the guys at (and formerly of) tgwtg are all about nostalgic and nerdy stuff, so they pepper their reviews with stuff they grew up with and like.
And I can’t believe that my personal running gag, the countdown to 200, was left off that last post. And with two comic left, it looks like Daph and Colin are going to have to deliver the baby themselves. Looks like daddy is the first thing this kid is going to see. 🙂
Never seen The Princess Bride? You must fix that, pronto!
Seconded.
The Princess Bride is must-watch. Most of the crap that was produced in the 80s is not, but that one is.
Hey, don’t knock the 80s! That was the decade that gave us two of the original Star Wars movies, Raiders of the Lost Ark (and Last Crusade), Back to the Future, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, E.T., Ghostbusters, The Terminator, Blade Runner, Die Hard, and Airplane! (Not to mention Clue, Labyrinth, Innerspace, and Willow, which might not be considered the greatest of the decade but are all in my personal top 25 favorite movies.)
I’m with you on all the titles. It was a wondrous cinematic decade, especially compared to the previous one (which, beyond a few key movies, was without a doubt Hollywood’s lowest point), and the following one (which was mostly trying to do exactly what the 80s did, only now with bad CGI).
Oh, and I almost forgot to mention The Wrath of Khan.
KHAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!
So you get to dictate what 80s movies are must-watches but I can’t recommend one 90s cartoon series? I’ve already seen every movie on Wyvern’s list despite not being born til ’91, surely you can watch one cartoon from my decade.
Nope. Decent cartoons stopped being made circa 1989. (Actually, that’s when the cartoons started to get good. I know they’re good. I know they’re good cartoons. I’m just a 34 year-old guy who isn’t going to sit back and watch a kids’ show from 90s that I have no connection with – even a decent kids’ show.)
Now that said, I think I’ll need to school you on REAL (bad) entertainment from the 80s. Which is why I posted this.
I straddle both decades, Gecko man. Born in 82, I saw most of the cool cartoons of the 80s and all of the ones in the 90s. Same with movies too, but I wasn’t really interested in live action movies until Jurassic Park came out. And that was only because of the dinosaurs.
I know about the “REAL” entertainment from the 80s. I may have only gotten a 6 on you’re test but I’ve heard of most of them even though I never watched them. To be really fair, I recognized most of the art styles and off the top of my head can name at least one show that had the same creators as most of those cartoons based solely on how the artists drew the scenes. I also know more about cartoons from the 20s-50s than I do for the 70s-90s.
@ Gecko: First you say the 80s were rubbish, and now you’re saying the 80s were great. Make up your mind! 😀
@ Marduk: What cartoon series are you talking about? I didn’t watch many 90s cartoons, but I know at least one that’s considered a classic, and that’s Gargoyles (I’m currently in the middle of watching season 2 thanks to Disney putting up the entire series on Youtube for free!). I was going to say Kim Possible and the remake of He-Man too, but I checked and found out they both debuted in 2002.
The 80s were great rubbish. Answer your question?
I’m talking about Gargoyles. Gecko has never watched it due to an irrational hatred of Disney he had during his teenage years and now refuses to watch it because it has no nostalgic meaning to him. Cause we all know the only reason to watch a cartoon is for nostalgia. It’s not like millions of teenagers and adults will be tuning in to Nickelodeon on September 13th for the season 2 premier of The Legend of Korra.
Not me!
One reason Disney doesn’t suck: Annette.
Seven reasons Disney sucks: Miley, Cirus, Disney World, Disney Land, Euro Disney, Japan Disney, and that one place where they serve alcohol in Disney out in California, don’t know which one, but it’s behind that one door.
Disney started going downhill after Oswald.
Gecko, are you telling me you haven’t watched Gargoyles or Avatar: The Last Airbender? Have you seen any good cartoons? Invader Zim? Samurai Jack? Ren & Stimpy? At least one incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles outside those awesome movies from the early 90s? Dexter’s Lab? The Thundercats remake?
Your seven reasons are 1 person, Disney’s overpriced theme parks, and the obscenely exclusive difficult to find secret clubs hidden in Disney’s various theme parks (yes there are more).
No to Gargoyles. Yes to Avatar – a great show all around. Invader Zim: no. Samurai Jack: no. Ren & Stimpy: yes. (The original run of that was huge at just the right time for my demographic.) I love the new incarnation of the Turtles. (I watch it with my son.) Dexter’s Lab I’ve watched with my kids. Thundercats remake … no. If I encounter it at the library, I might.
And I don’t hate Disney. It’s just fun to say that.
Another reason that Disney sucks. They now own Star Wars.
Episode VIIThe Force isstrong with theMouse We now come to see our hero, Luke Skywalker, turned into a black mouse, with bulbous ears, Darth Vader is now Donald Duck, and Scrooge McDuck, the Emperor. Minnie Mouse is Princess Leia Organa, Goofy as Han Solo, Pluto as Chewbacca, Huey as C3PO, Dewey as R2D2, Chip as Obi Wan Kenobi, Baloo as Jabba and Jiminy Cricket as Yoda.
I’m pumped.
Though I wasn’t born until the 90’s, my favorite movie of all time is a must-watch 80’s movie that has not yet been mentioned in this thread: My Best Friend is a Vampire.
I’ve never seen that. Or even heard of that.
Eeeeewwwww, Satan! Sigmund doesn’t appreciate that information. Or maybe he does. Are they gay for each other?
They are not. I think that the Simpsons covered all the comedy territory that could be covered with a gay corporate lackey. I’d say that Sigmund is largely asexual, but is very passionate about evil, and thus is loyal to his boss. But Sigmund is privy to stuff that likely would horrify most average employees. More on that later.
I’m sure even Sigmund would quit if he knew how Satan felt about One Direction. Even the Prince of Darkness should have limits to his evil.
Yeah, that really is pushing it.
It did seem in the past that Sigmund was eager for his boss to get back to old school evil, ie., outright war against the Almighty… Is he getting bored with his current duties?
I think he’s game for whatever evil Satan’s brewing. And sometimes the small, obnoxious evils are just as satisfying as the big ones.
The guy probably gets $300,000 a year, would you complain about the little foibles that your boss says? After 60,000 a little, 120,000 more. $200,000 deaf unless morals are crossing my personal limits, $295,000 deaf unless legal has an opinion. $350,000 I don’t care, gimmie a light, slap the secretary to get coffee and grab the bourbon.
Now THAT’S the life!
HE can definitely buy that for a dollar
BIG MONEY!!! BIG PRIZES!!!! I LOVE IT!!!
Princess Bride reference. Niceeeeeeeee! LOL
I aim to please. It’s one of the few movie refs that I will allow to serve as a punchline.
What about:
ADRIAN?
STELLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAA
At this point, I feel like I’m being trolled.
Hey, man. You tell me to jump, I ask “How low?” I might just have to drag this thing out for another 100 strips of screaming.
Always an added treat when Satan makes an appearance in this strip for me.
And I’m certain if this ever became an animated series (which is highly possible) you should request Robert Vaughn to voice him. 😀
Unlikely it’ll ever see animated format, but if that happens, I’m sure it will involve me signing away all creative power and becoming a powerless pawn. I’ll work whatever influence I have, though. I promise.
Puck as a cartoon would be awesome.
I’m not sure it would really translate well, but I thank you for the vote of confidence.
Maybe done in flash by someone else, with you writing the dialogue, so it keeps your style of humor. After all, Puck is character driven, so the situation doesn’t matter as much as who is doing or saying what.
Then again, the initial startup for something like that, especially with school starting up again, would be time consuming. Unless people volunteered, you’d have to find an artist, an animator, voice actors, etc. Even if you got volunteers you’d have to sign off on voice actors for the characters.
Still, having others working for you on it allows you to keep creative control. Still, if you consider it, best wait until next summer; won’t have to worry about grading papers or getting the kids to school at that point.
Yeah, pretty much never going to happen. Ever. Ever. I’d never personally attempt to make an animated version of anything. I didn’t drop out of animation school for nothing, man.
Yeah, you did mention that in the FAQ, didn’t you? And I know, from personal experience, that voice acting isn’t lucrative either. Even if you have range. Especially if you’re male; we can either do adult male or teenage male. Female voice actors have more options; adult female, teenage female, child female, child male, teenage male, and very high pitched adult male.
Yeah, I did some voice acting in college for animation and game students. I have a talent for acting, and I’m easy to work with, so any time local friends or college students need voice acting, I step up. Not a living though; I wouldn’t need an IT job if it was.
I’ve got a pretty good range. Ever seen my ‘edutainment’ game over at http://www.readwriterock.com? I did ALL the male voices for that game. Including the monkey. Be warned, though: bad edutainment ensues.
I don’t have any examples of my voice work. At least online. That I know of. And even if someone posted it online, I use a pseudonym, so if something’s online and I’m credited for it, it won’t be connected to me. For similar reasons that you don’t use your real name for Puck as well; while I’ve voiced nothing “objectionable”, since it was for college students, I’d rather not have some of the stuff I’ve done to be attached to my name if they were to look for me.
… Phoebe’s sire is a *&%$.
(I use the word ‘sire’ as he doesn’t seem like much of a ‘father’ to me.)
Oh, he’s a father. He’s just not a very good one. She does seem to have a fair amount of affection for him, though, so he must be doing something right.
I assume what he ‘did right’ was to keep her in money until she got a job of her own. :p
Isn’t that what ‘good fathering’ is in our society today? Sad but (in some cases) true.
That depends on the people involved.
He’s not a sire, not even a king. Prince of Evil, but not King.
“Sire” is also a word for a male who has conceived offspring. ^^
I strongly suspect that what he “did right” was to keep Phoebe in money…
Did he ever!
“Sire” is also a word for the male who has fathered a child.
There’s a video on Youtube entitled ”I remarried my Ex” Why would anyone remarry their ex? I believe that people who remarry their ex do so because they’ve flopped in singles clubs and are afraid to die bitter and alone.
HA! Satan and Lackey’s comment in the last panel. PRICELESS!
But it can be yours for only $29.95 with shipping and handling!
I thought that you didn’t get the bottling process past the carbon refits.
So, it’s not night? – I thought Daphne said 2 strips ago, that it was “almost midnight”.
Ooooh, good eye for continuity. You’re the first to catch that too. Let’s guess that some time elapsed between that strip and this one. And let’s not guess that I’m a continuity hack and completely forget the crap I write from one strip to the next. Let’s NEVER guess that. Heh Heh heh.
Well, you could have them up near the north pole or something like that. You know, where there is the land of the midnight sun, eh?
Actually, it’s a flat-out error, and I just fixed it by slyly altering Daphne’s dialogue in #196 to remove any reference to a specific time. It was easier (and far less drastic) than making the exterior shots become night ones.
Birth can take a long time or be very quick. Sometimes women can give birth in under an hour and feel very little pain, sometimes they can spend days in labor screaming in agony. Judging by the bright blue sky and that one last scream Puck is looking at more than 10 hours of labor.
Thank you Cliff.
Hey, I personally know women that have had very short births with relatively little pain. And the horror stories of 48+ hour births are fairly common knowledge. I didn’t just pull this stuff out of my ass you know. If I was going to do that I’d tell you that the umbilical cord is 98% potassium.
Troi in the Star Trek The Next Generation episode The Child didn’t take long to give birth to a bouncing baby boy that she named after her late father.
Ever read the Sailor Moon fanfic Stockholm Syndrome? I’ve read it and it’s a great read.
Seems nobody is noting the guards are completely ignoring their previous call for an emergency. True, this is the maternity ward, where screams of agony are common and (on most occasions) tolerated, but this is a hospital and they are the hospital’s security.
They were called to the scene for an emergency. I would be p***ed if I were those nurses and I saw these ditwit guards.
I personally love the expressions on the two guards’ faces in panel two, especially the one on the left. It so clearly says “I like the view I’ve got and I don’t plan to move anytime soon.” So contentedly creepy.
Too many comments to see if someone already said this.
“My soul, it made this sound, when my father died.” Gods! I love that movie!
No one said it yet. And it’s good that you did. Because it needed to be said.
Even though I’m a male & will never know the “joy” of childbirth, I’m not unread or illiterate to the point of knowing this much: On a Pain Scale from 1-10, delivering a baby rates a 12…
God help us all…
Don’t worry. You’re safe on the other side of the screen.
Which pain scale are you using?
This one?
Reminds me of a Brian Regan sketch where he’s in dire medical trouble and incredible pain and doesn’t know what number to choose. He chose 8, not wanting to be too hyperbolic, but because he chose 8, the emergency ward basically wrote him off as a lightweight.
I’ve heard of evil boners, but this is severe.
I think he gets a lot of them.
Phineas & Ferb is/was the best written Cartoon Series in many years.
As good as Gravity Falls.
NO GARGOYLES
Totally read that in Inigo Montoya’s voice.
As it should be.
The guard on the left is into Phoebe. The guard on the right is a knitter too and wants to talk patterns.
You know it.
Not that he’s gay or anything, but his wife’s expecting in a few months and he needs a some baby clothes.