Sep22
SUPER DUPER NEW VOTING INCENTIVE! BOOBS – WITH POLKA DOTS!!!
The lowest common denominator is getting one last kick at the can before September ends, so celebrate by voting for boobs one more time! Because you deserve it! BECAUSE BOOBS DESERVE IT!
CLICK HERE TO VOTE FOR PUCK. SEE BOOBS. WITH POLKA DOTS.
ALSO…
As for this comic…
Never treat pampered suburban rich folks badly. It’s not because they’re better than everyone else. No, it’s a little thing called advocacy. Poor people accept abuse as a fact of life. Rich people litigate.
Oh, and no offence to any Haitians out there. I’m sure the country has some wonderful features. Which can be viewed at a distance, in safety, from the Dominican Republic.
What’s a Haitian vacation?
Suffering incarnate.
A Dominican put you up to that joke, didn’t he?
Before anyone cries racist on me, I’ve Haitian and Dominican friends and have learned there is a rivalry between the two nations and that’s putting it lightly.
Well, I suppose rivalry happens when two island nations sit on the same island, but really, from all that I’ve heard, it’s not really a rivalry. Dominican Republic wins. Hands down.
I take it this where our “Dearly Beloved” Tracee comes in?
Uhhhhhh…… Maybe?
If you hit them in the head hard enough they never remember the previous week much less who hit them…just saying. I no longer get into fights. But I own more than one shovel and keep several bags of quick lime in the garage.
Too many witnesses, man. Too many witnesses.
I think Colin just had moment of intelligence.
Say it isn’t so!
So!
He has had others…. at least 2! and one of them wasn’t even triggered by his fight/flight instinct!
They occur every once in a while. Like most of the characters in this comic, he does have some native intelligence. He just chooses not to apply it 90% of the time.
Has Colin had some previous experience with Heather’s litigation-happy behaviors or???
Maybe. I’d be more likely to guess that he’s witnessed or heard about previous incidents with others, but Heather would be the type to sue her own immediate family.
While she is over, have someone burn down her house. Obviously you didn’t do it. You are here suffering her insufferableness. Personally, she is the kinda person where I look forward to hearing about their death. So I can pour a bottle of wine over their grave. Via my bladder.
Man, everyone’s just so hostile to Colin’s sister! And she hasn’t killed or maimed anyone or nothing! In fact, if we’re looking at it from a legal perspective, she’d probably be considered a finer, more upstanding citizen than Puck in the eyes of the law.
But yeah, the eyes of the law don’t work too well. Burning of house would be an ingenious plan if her house weren’t in Calgary.
Are we sure she hasn’t killed anybody. I could see someone insulting her makeup and making her look bad/unfashionable and her murdering the insulter via sniper rifle.
We are not sure. Not sure at all.
“But, we have 100 acres and a backhoe.”
In this case, they have neither. And in the northeast end of Hamilton, it’s not a good idea to start digging for any reason. You never know what industrial spillage you might find.
Well, if you kill her right after her nose explodes, *she* won’t be able to sue. You might have some problems with the authorities right after you kill her, though.
Privileged suburban white folks sue from beyond the grave. Even death cannot stop them.
Colin applying intelligence/common sense?
That’s… Unusual. Hilarious, but still unusual.
As for his remark “[He] wants to kill [his] sister as much as the next decent human being”… I honestly have that feeling a lot personally as well.
As for the voting incentive, I… Don’t know what I was expecting when it said ‘polka dots’. I guess the picture we got was pretty much what I expected? I dunno.
There are some people who just bring out murderous feelings in all who encounter them. I think we’ve all known a few of those. And might be in some way related to them. And I hope you weren’t too disappointed with the voting incentive image.
There was a Kids in the Hall skit where a woman is in court for domestic abuse. Her defense is you can’t help it, you have to hit him. Everyone starts hitting him because they can’t help it. I think Heather has that, but power to mitigate it for the most part.
Well, the power to make people want to hit you coupled with the power to make them too scared to act is a powerful combo, I’d say.
Do unspeakable crimes against humanity to her, then tell her that if she presses charges or sues, you’ll do even worse, and then describe in detail what worse is, in such a way that she’ll never sleep again. That, or just kick the b**ch out. The first one is more satisfying, but the second is the smart move.
Well, that takes a certain cruelty of the soul, which Puck doesn’t exactly have. She’s more an ‘explosion of violence which releases tension’ type, not a plotting manufacturer of nightmares. Daphne might help, though…
Definition of stress= the condition caused by the mind overriding the body’s need to punch the #$%& out of some #$%& who richly deserves it.
You get the feeling that this is a new sensation for Puck. Before this, the very firstlings of her heart were the firstlings of her hand, but no more…
The splatter-nose does sound like the most visceral of releases, but has she considered other options? Her shoddily built house probably has a top stair that people have a habit of just falling right off for no reason.
Now you’re getting creative! The world needs more people like you!
Thanks, I do what I can. And I can honestly say I’ve lived in some pretty shoddy housing.
Uh oh. Puck is showing her age. She used big adult words O_O
It sometimes happens.
Phoebe in a bikini in the voting image? I wish I could vote more than once a day for that! 😀
Well, glad to be of service. It happens every once in a while. Can’t tease forever without going for broke once in a while, can I?
Did you know that if you hit somebody in the nose as just the right angle, it will send a fragment of bone into the brain and kill them? Just sayin’
Seriously, I don’t want Heather dead just now. I wanna see the fight with Tracee. Bad
I’ve heard that about the nose-breaking thing, but I’ve also seen it featured in Van Damme and Seagal movies, so I’m tempted to discount it.
That is just a myth. The braincase is the best designed bone in the body to resist even sharp impacts from just about any directions.
When this rather vicious rumor first started (in the late 1970s), the AMA and some martial-arts franchises actually sponsored a study on the rumor and tested it.
The nose bones that were supposed to penetrate the braincase were simply too delicate and fragile.
See? If featured in 80’s action movies, you pretty much know it’s fake.
Just like the little Jean Claude Van Damme’s accent in Bloodsport.
Despite the fakery, it is still believed even by many folks who are otherwise very cautious about facts.
There’s also the fact that there is no such thing as a nose bone. The nose is made of cartilage.
Yep.
ok, so a direct attack is out, but that leaves subtle, embarassing and intelligent – basically everything that can´t be proven 😉 puck might need to employ daph for this though, cause subtle, intelligent plotting? so not up pucks alley. heck, maybe even phoebe could help, ok so she´s about as evil as the easter bunny, but she´s got to observed quite a bit over the years how dear daddy deals with people.
and yeah, i want to see tracee and heather clash as well, its a wet dream come true, but i´m not sure the universe would survive its two most evil forces meeting in close quarters….i mean whats the worst that could happen? those two getting along and become bff *shudder* they would totally take over for satan and relocate him and sigmund to the kitchen to do the dishes.
Things will definitely happen. Things will go down. Satisfying things. I hope. That’s all I can say.
“… she’s about as evil as the Easter Bunny…,” Uh…, you *do* know what they say about ticking off the nice ones, don’t you? Don’t do it. They have wells of repressed rage the likes of which would make most demon lords whimper in terror and open up lemonade factories in their tighty whiteys. Just sayin’.
I don’t think Phoebe has wells of repressed rage. If she does, they’re buried so deep under the fluffy pink things that they’re never coming up again.
I would very much like to get to know Phoebe’s “pink things” intimately. Fluffy or otherwise.
You are not alone in that.
Puck, faerie of lore, is still very much in touch with her feral faerie roots… ^^; I’d hate to know her personally and tick her off.
Yeah, civilization hasn’t really taken for her, has it?
Holy crap. Colin spoke sense.
Happens once every decade or so.
Colin needs another medal and his man card for this one. I’d want to knock the daylights out of Heather too for that all because that’ was a harsh blow to not just Puck, but her closest friend (WHO IS SATAN’S DAUGHTer, SO IF SHE COULD SHE’D PULL SOME STRINGS AND MAKE HEATHER’S AFTERLIFE UTTER AGONY) AND her adoptive daughter who she pretty much learned to love and nuture (which started off Puck’s now native ability to care for the life of some other being). The two might not be the best of people, being the daughter of sin incarnate (though this Satan is more like an uttered F word said in Canada on a mega phone) , and a delinquent who is a dog-thing, but Puck has a RIGHT to love them both for who they are.
Well said. And vengeance shall come. At some point in time. Reasonably soon.
Now we know how he gets her all hot and bothered.
Describing acts of violence with creative imagery. Works every time.
Head. On. Pike. Reach back to your youth for inspiration, Puck. Nobody sues anybody with their head on a pike.
Just sayin’. 😀
No, but their estates do. Privileged white people can die, but their privilege is immortal.
Is Miranda going to be a redhead like Puck when she’s older?
Wait and see!
Hear, hear. Eagerly awaiting next Tuesday’s strip.
Off the subject, but as a faithful log-in-every-day-and-vote-for-Puck reader, who the heck is that chubby cheerleader with bushy red eyebrows and blue lipstick on the Blog link? She makes me crazy. Well, not Puck-crazy, but, still.
No clue. Not even sure if it’s a character, but the drawing is a product of an artist I know, who is the official illustrator for the TWC site. He did a review of Puck a while back, which was very nice of him, and through that I found out that he’s from Hamilton (my town), and I’ve even met the guy before, I’m pretty sure. So I’m not going to criticize him. But the red eyebrows are a little disconcerting, certainly.
I may be wrong, but I think those red things are her bangs… her eyebrows seem to be very thin, very long black lines…
I’d believe that. Visually … confusing, anyway.
Okay, I looked at her again, for the same reason people tare at train wrecks and burning buildings. Those long lines continue down past her eyelashes. I think: 1) that those lines are her upper eyelids, 2) the red things are her eyebrows, weird as that would be, and 3) I am overanalysing this. Anyway, back to Puck 🙂
I voted but grrrdammit! I’m with Puck on this.
Isn’t Puck fae though…? Couldn’t she do something magic-y to the wretch?? Sure it’s not her first choice but hey, so long as it gets the job done, mais oui?
*p.s. just so ya know, that’s about all the French I actually know. (well that and please, thank you and where’s the restroom… Gotta know the important stuff like that)
So please don’t start a conversation thinking I can understand and reply with out a translator. ^^;
(pssst… your “mais oui” doesn’t make any sense in this context in French… you could use “pourquoi pas ?” [why not?] instead…)
You French people! Always insisting that other people not totally massacre your language! Well, you need to understand that massacring languages is what English-speaking people do! You can’t take it away from us! (Though the world would probably be a much better place if you could.)
Well, just like for a lot of “your” things, you copied us ! WE were the first to massacre foreign languages, we did it before it was cool! Actually, I’m pretty sure WE made it cool !
(By the way I’m not from France. I’m from Belgium. But considering how small a country we are, and our historic and cultural ties with France, and most of all, for the joke’ sake… Meh. Close enough)
Oh, Belgian? I immediately like you. Canadians and Belgians are comrades in lifestyle: friendly, hearty, folks from a (relatively speaking) small country just to the north of a huge, domineering country with a major superiority complex. Even our diets are in synch: a love of beer and all things fried.
Huh, I never look at it that way, but we do like fried food… Well, we just like food, with a preference for the kind that not only tastes good, but fills up well too.
In all fairness, France is not the only place with huge egos around Belgium, you can also count the UK and Germany. Actually, you could say that’s how we gained our independance to begin with. Along with the Netherlands, they all agreed they would stop conquering our part of ground if the others didn’t possess it either. Before that, we kinda were invaded every month by one or the other…
True enough. And in Canada’s case, the only reason we were given independence was because one big ego (England) was worried that another big ego (America) was going to invade it, and they really couldn’t be bothered to defend it. So guess what, boys? You got your own country! At least that’s the take of some historians. I’m telling you, man, Canada and Belgium. Two peas in a pod. Well, if one pea were geographically 322 times the size of the other pea.
Canada is by no means small.
Well, not unless you discount all the land that’s covered in permafrost. And that big honkin’ bay.
In terms of the Canada that 99% of the country lives in, it’s pretty small. It’s like a long Chile-like strip hugging the American border. Plus tons of wilderness and tundra above it.
Jeez, did you guys get screwed.
Belgium-Folk actually INVENTED French Fries, but Americans, who consume, like, 500 lbs (not kg – groan) of them each year (per person), never give you cred.
Unfair, man. UNFAIR.
Well, Quebecois invented covering them in gravy and cheese curds, so I think Canada wins.
Puck ran out of magic long ago. And I only know enough French to order unhealthy food at restaurants in Quebec. Which I highly recommend, because no one makes unhealthy food like the Quebecois.
Perhaps all that delicious, but unhealthy food, is a plot by the French Satan to eliminate his traditional Anglais foe ?
(sorry man. I misplaced my tinfoil hat, and had to order a new one on eBay. they charge me extra to cover my ears. bastards.)
I prefer to think that it’s a big-hearted (and heart-damaging) gift of kindness.
No one? Have you eaten American food?
I’m curious how puck lost the ability to turn someone’s head into the head of an ass… that would seem an entirely fitting end to Heather…..
and if she can give her hooves for hands,as well, heather would lose the ability to sue for damages!!!! (coming from the perspective of a priviliged white suburbanite).
Oh, Oberon, oh oberon, where are we when we need you?
She seems to have lost all her powers at some point in time. I blame the 1700’s.
Stupid 1700’s…
Stupid age of Reason…
Stupid Benjamin Franklin… it’s all HIS fault
I really try come to Colin’s defense more often than not because of his affable nature but this is one of those instances where I just wished he’d SACK UP and get his family in check.
He should refuse to have his household upset over this so- called “hierarchy demeanor” exhibited by his folks. I can’t wait to see just how this is resolved, man…or maybe “contained” I a better word 😉
No way would tolerate this and sleep well.
I’d tend to agree with you here. A real man should always keep his psycho family in check. But we’ll see. A lot of guys fail to stand up to their psycho families because it’s an internal interpersonal threat, not an external, hostile threat from invading lions or such. They should, though.
Just wait and see if Miranda will be very pretty when she’s older and lots of guys will have huge crushes on her.
Colin to the rescue!
He’s so manly.
Kill her. The dead can’t sue.
I like how Colin is grabbing her skirt in Panel One…
Hey, Buggle.
I adore this vintage PUCK.
But fess up.
Did you kill SotiCoto ?
Did IT’S constant hammering of D.A.P.H.N.E. finally drive you over the edge ?
Did SotiCoto pee off our dear Lizard so much, he was finally forced to dip into his HUGE Patreon Money Bin so as to buy D.A.P.H.N.E. an upper lip ?
The public needs to know….
He’s a brave man.
I’ll pitch in a Canuck Buck to buy some Daisies for SotiCoto’s shallow grave.
(they’re always shallow graves)
But honest to gawd it was knot I wat dug it. Not i !
(I’ve said too much)
“Haitian vacation” Ahahahah! EG, I salute you sir!
(Raises glass of sparkling Chardonnay grape juice.)
I had that one just waiting in the wings for years. Finally decided to drop it in this comic.
I’ve been to Haiti. I have never seen so many poor people in all my life. I was darned glad to get back on the cruise ship and stuff myself at the free lunch buffet.
And that was before the latest hurricane (or two)!
And now we know where Colin came from. It’s amazing he tuned out as well as he did.
Turned out. Grief!
And by “well”, we mean “mostly broken”.
There’s a difference between mostly broken and all broken. With mostly broken, you’re somewhat not broken! But if you’re mostly broken, the best you can do is give someone your loose change and work for one of the Trumps.
Indeed.
Colin spoke most eloquently to Puck. I think that’s to his credit.
He can use his talky words all nice-like when needed.