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As for this comic…
Just to clarify, I’ve never abandoned my wife in such times of need. But like all human beings, I have wanted to.
And for those who haven’t had babies, just trust me on this: diapers can contain all sorts of terrifying surprises. This comic is not a ridiculous exaggeration. It’s based on cold, hard facts. (Actually more like hot, runny facts…)
Hey Puck, how about a Cheeseburger and a chocolate milkshake?
Ew.
Well, I shared that little tidbit on an xbox live party. So did the site traffic spike any?
Not that I noticed, but thanks for the shout-out! I did, however, notice that thirty people came to the site after searching for the term ‘nacked puck’. Spelled that way. People are weird.
Ahh. Thank the Internet protocols for spelling errors.
Of course poop disobeys the conventional laws of physics. It’s dark matter, after all…
And it accounts for most of the mass in the universe, which is a horrifying thought, really…
Poop is its own master.
….and we all know its running EVERYWHERE. seriously, i wiped stuff out of places i wasn´t aware were even part of human anatomy *shudders* aside from that, i gotta say i LOVE daphnes t-shirt (all of them!) wish i could by such cool stuff around here….and it totally fits her dark humor.
It’s the sort of experience one never forgets. One parenting writer said that cleaning poop off a little boy baby’s privates was about as easy as scraping melted butter off an English muffin. I’ve never heard it better described. And glad you liked the shirt. It was a last minute improvisation.
Never gotten it in my mouth, but got some in my ear, once. When my kid was finally potty trained, I didn’t celebrate because of his mile stone, but because I would never have to change another diaper.
My youngest is five, and I’m STILL NOT THERE. I swear, my daughter is going to be wearing diapers at night forever.
Did Daphne add the “S” to her “EAT LOCAL” shirt herself?
I’d like to think so.
Well, I had to say something that didn’t involve baby poop.
…This is way too accurate. And apparently, I’m psychic. My girlfriend’s niece had colic when we babysat her last week (it’s the last time I babysit a two month old baby that’s not my own…) so I told her (once said niece was picked up) “I swear, the next Puck comic will be about Miranda somehow screwing life over for Puck… And possibly the others”. My girlfriend is currently staring at me and looks like she wants to murder me for calling it.
And yes. You REALLY want to avoid helping changing a diaper, if possible. It rarely IS possible but eh… (Secret: be out shopping when the diaper needs to be changed; can’t blame you in that case for not helping out!)
Here’s the sad truth of the matter: if another person comes to ‘help’ you clean up poop (or barf, or a big puddle of pee, or whatever else parenting throws at you), it never really helps. It just means that two people get covered in poop instead of one. All it accomplishes is a sense of fairness. Which, I suppose, is worth something.
And yeah, never ever take care of babies that are not your own. This is the primary rule that the movie ‘Willow’ taught me.
Very true statement. Only ever changed my son’s diapers, only plan to change his diapers – and that was over years ago!
SMART MAN.
“STUPID DAIKINI!”
You know, there is a certain kind of woman who simply ADORES Changing Diapers.
In fact, looks forward to doing so. Can barely get enough.
They’re called Grandma’s
Man, I do NOT miss those days, or the ones where my son’s “laser targeted” pee stream WOULD ACTUALLY hit me in the mouth, up the nose, in the eye, etc..
When grandparenting comes around, I think I’ll be well off enough to hire a “grand-nanny” for any diaper duties I may suddenly get wrangled into.
Been there. Tasted the pee. Didn’t leave a tip.
That happened to my oldest nephew’s mother. First diaper, actually.
Had it happen so many times I ALMOST (heavy sarcastic emphasis on the word) developed an appreciation for baby pee splashing me in the face.
(Man, that sounds like a sick fetish you’d encounter in a back-alley club in Germany! No offense Krylon. lol)
First child. First diaper. Fountain trick.
Fortunately, I managed to avoid getting baptized.
You have good reflexes for dodging enemy fire.
Due to your visceral description and my vivid imagination, I must say “F*** you very much!” for the vomit that I must now clean up.
Yep, reason number 17 for not wanting kids; the poop horror.
I aim to please, friend.
I must say, I do like the look of sympathy in Daphne’s face in panel 3, though. It both really sells how horrible it is, and that not very far down, she does care about her “mother”.
It’s a sort of sympathy-mixed-with-horror look. It’s hard not to make that face when confronted with a poop-covered person.
Husband and wife bring their baby home. Comes the first diaper change, hubby says “you take this one and I’ll get the next.” Sounds fair, so she does the first diaper change. Then comes time for the second. Hubby says “oh dear, I didn’t explain myself, I meant the next baby!”
Sounds hilarious till next baby comes.
Ah, not Einstein, but Hawking. Observation shapes reality…and expectation shapes it even more. Oh lord, the horror. THE HORROR!
I suppose if we follow the laws of quantum mechanics, it is possible (though highly improbable) that the poop is just phasing into existence in excess quantities.
want to see physics explain how a 16 pound baby who eats only 12 pounds a day can generate 25 pounds of EWWWWW!!!
I’ve heard the line from them that ‘even a tablespoon looks like a lot when it’s thrown on the wall.’ I don’t believe them.
I like to think that I would have played the part hero… heroically. I really do.
But I know myself far too well to really believe that.
Then again, I was a conscientious objector when we still had a military draft (I am from Germany), so I had to work in a hospital for nearly a year (it was called “Zivildienst”, I don’t think there’s an exact equivalent in English), where I actually did change my fair share of diapers, and I was surprised how quickly I got used to poop. I never could stand vomit, though. Except for cases of terminal colon cancer, I would choose poop over vomit every time.
A nearly bottomless supply of latex gloves and industrial-strength disinfectant helped a lot, though.
I think the translation would be “non-military national service”. Quite a mouthful, but the literal “civil service” is already designating something else…
I can’t stand the view of vomit, I get a gag response every time.
I guess poop is easier on the stomach because it’s something done by everybody, regardless of their health, while vomit is usually the sign of something going not quite right, and a part of our brain just triggers an alarm…
I try to never stomach poop. You just don’t want poop in your stomach ever.
I am the vomit cleaner in my household. I have the curse of a pretty strong stomach, so that’s my job. It is what it is. And yes, when you deal with poop regularly, it loses its voodoo curse a little.
oh sweet baby jesus I can smell it.
You better check your plumbing. This ain’t no ‘scratch and sniff’ comic.
This distinctly reminds of time when my mother and I got into a conversation about how glad she was that I was a girl. One of the reasons that came up was having to change a little boy’s diaper meant she was extremely liable to get a shot of urine to the face. That never happened (this might also be attributed to the fact that I’m an only child too), but apparently even baby girls have a certain amount of reign over physics-defying pee. Though I never heard anything about poo.
The pee can do crazy things with both genders. One big thing you have to watch with boys is the arrangement of stuff when you put on the diaper. It’s possible to have them aiming upward, which means they’ll pee right over the diaper and into their face. Happened once with my own son. Live and learn.
Puck will be breathing a sigh of relief when Miranda gets potty trained.
Are any of the characters potty trained? One can’t be certain…
The baby looks like a baby again in this one. In the last one, looked more like a toddler. What gives?
Baby is … indeterminate age. Around five, six months maybe? Starting food. Some size discrepancy will likely occur due to general confusion on my part.
Are they past the “Bill Cosby talks baby talk to the infant while changing the diapers” to the “oh my L*rd” transition of the intestinal flora taking hold?
Baby talk while changing diapers? I, for one, never have the patience for that when dealing with poo.
Awesome reference – “As Himself” – great vid for those who have never seen it. ALL of the key things on the “Cosby Show” episodes generate from this stand up/sit down show.
I was….. Eating dinner…. when I first saw this…. A big ol’ Beef burrito! for some strange reason, I lost my appetite!
This strip should come with a warning label. “Not suitable for people who don’t like to change diapers!”
That makes this comic not suitable for everyone.
Ah, the dreaded diaper change. I somehow mastered avoiding the real “doozies” my son use to lay as an infant. My secret was watching his face right before…next thing, he’s seamlessly with his mom before the smell drops on her.
ALL babies have that face; its so predictable. 😀
Yeah, that’s a good face to watch for. Though I found the worst offenders were often the stealthiest…
Love Daphnes shirt. The rest of the comic is sheer baby poo nightmare fuel.
Thanks!
I am happy to provide you with high-octane nightmare fuel – now with fearthanol!
Has it stopped being green yet, at least?
That early stage when babies shit green is so… pathetic.
Like I just stand there and see it and I’m all “You had one job, baby. ONE JOB. But you can’t even do shit properly”…
I’m so glad I got to skip most of the nappy-changing. I’d have died of an OCD heart-attack if I’d been made to do that.
In med school, I had to deal with all of the above in my pediatrics rotation, plus infectious matter…
But what Puck said made a diaper change sound like John Carpenter’s “The Thing.”
Diaper changing ain’t that bad. Except when it IS that bad. It’s unpredictable.
I was laughing so hard it took me more than a minute to read the dialogue in panel three. Each sentence completely cracked me up all over again. The same thing happened when I was reading the strips about baby puke, particularly the one about armpit hair. I’m a perpetually single male, this may have some bearing on why this is all so riotously funny.
Poop is inherently funny. At least in fictional form.