Apr24
MAY VOTING INCENTIVE!!! MAY QUEEN MADNESS!!!
It’s May: a month that for some reason has its own monarchy! Get into the season by voting for Puck on TWC! And remember, this idea came from THE PATRONS! Patrons on Patreon who pledge $5 or more a month get a personal say in what incentives are coming your way! If YOU want to put your two cents in, then my HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
As for this comic…
Ambiance is one of the first post-baby casualties, accompanied by sleep and the ability to go poop in peace. But it’s a minor casualty, really. We miss ambiance, but we didn’t go to his funeral; we just sent a condolence letter in the mail.
When did they get a Centipede arcade console? Did they always have that?
Oh ha.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSemARaqGqE
Well, THAT was disturbing.
Why.
I wonder how they would explain this if Daphne or Phoebe caught them.
Well, (1) Who would go into the centipede-infested basement laundry room in the middle of the night willingly? And (2) what’s to explain? It’s obvious what they’re doing, and I mean, they’re allowed. That kind of horrible scenario simply calls for a shriek, hasty apologies all around, and a steadfast refusal to ever speak of the incident again.
Obviously Phoebe would simply offer to JOIN them.
No, that’s not obvious at all.
No.
Can’t blame the cat for trying.
We most certainly can. And we will, believe you me.
I KNEW somebody would suggest that. +1 for the Susie-girl. -1 for unnecessary ledness to SALEM
@Susan
ledness ?
That’s not even a real thing.
I want my point back !
Typo for lewdness. AKA prurience, carnality, raunchiness, vulgarity, eroticism, grossness, incontinency, lasciviousness, lechery, and other things applying to Tracee
Basically all the fun things in life.
My username on Disqus is Raunchy!
Oh, silly me.
I just meant Phoebe would obviously pitch in with doing the LAUNDRY.
Because Phoebe is helpful and nice.
NOT that Phoebe would be (gasp), doing a THREESOME !!
Shame on those of you with dirty minds. SHAME !!
(backtrack backtrack backtrack)
mmmmmmmm a threesome in fresh warm laundry…
@Buggle
Yet I don’t see you losing any points.
That’s just because she didn’t involve Phoebles 😛
@Susan
No.
It’s, it’s because you’re biased against my Species !
(Sputter)
(I’m losing another point, aren’t I…)
So I can be as lewd as I want?
*Cuddles her dog* Who, me, an ailurophobe? Nah. As long as there aren’t any within my purvey (my apt, my bf’s house, my mom’s house)
@Buggle as long as your threesome doesn’t involve Phoebles, my bf, or me, you are good to go
My Disqus name is “VanillaSuze”
I see! Indeed you are correct!
Me+Tracee+Phoebe+Puck – freckles=something awesome that would be far too awesomely good in its pure awesomeness to happen to me.
Now I’m SadHobo…. : (
Actually, according to the Internet, which is never wrong, Centipedes (and Spiders) only kill things that are worse than they are !
So when you enter a building that is over-run with Centipedes, Spiders, and Bats (just thought I’d toss bats into the mix), relax.
It’s probably the cleanest and healthiest place you’ll ever be !
On the other hand, things that are worse than Centipedes, Spiders, and Bats just might DEFINE Robin.
So never mind.
Centipedes kill earthworms, seen one in action doing so, earthworms are good.
See? They are a scourge of terror, destroying all that is good in the world. I KNEW IT!
NO! Not the worms! Save the worms!
No. You’re thinking of the daphne.
Well, yes, they’re predators. But what are the worse things? I mean, if you’ve got a roach problem, then maybe? But honestly, my basement seems to be filled almost exclusively with centipedes and spiders. Not sure how that ecosystem works. Maybe they just eat each other.
@EG
I’m pretty sure the Centipedes are eating THESE GUYS.
Who aren’t nearly as innocent as they look.
Don’t look innocent at all to me. Translucent predators are the worst kind.
With 10% fruit juice!
The corn syrup flavored gaze… it burns into my soul.
Well, there’s gotta be more than centipedes for the spiders to eat – maybe ants? gnats? moths?
Try getting one in your boot on a camping trip and see how their definition alters.
Eeeeeeek!
And that is why, and that is why, I stuff my usd socks and underwear in my boots when we go camping or river-rafting.
@Susan
No way I’m going there.
And then there’s crickets. Well, that is if we were in my basement.
CRICKETS !!!!
I’m pretty sure those are ElectricGecko’s favorite Snack !
Wait a Minute….
Why is the Washer on the RIGHT and the Dryer on the LEFT?
That is SO WRONG !
What the hell is going on in Hamilton ?
BIZARRO WORLD ?
Why would it not be? Seriously, every house I’ve ever lived in has had the washer on the right.
Not in America! Here, we do everything in the same order as the words in the English language – everything from traffic lights to washing machines is done left-to-right.
Sure. I’ll accept that. I have seen some laundry rooms with the right-to-left setup here. It just seems to be random here, depending on where the house designer placed the sink.
@Buggle
(it’s as we feared. they’ve even got to Susan)
I’m in Alabama, and our washer is on the right (due to the design of the house – it’s old and the washer/dryer connections were put in later). Where I lived in Albuquerque it was on the left, and in Hawaii I had an under/over washer/dryer combo.
Washer on the right at my bf’s. Washer on the 110 degrees SSW eight miles in mine. And, yes, Texas is in America
@Susan
And Buggle and I thought you were, you know, a REAL American.
But we like you, so we’ll give you a Second Chance.
Get on your Cell NOW and find a American Plumber who knows what they’re doing (and what country they’re in).
The Susie-girl declines to interest herself in washers and driers of any arrangement or aspect. Or waffle irons. Or crock-pots. She leaves that to her mother and her bf.
Some would argue that Texans are the realest Americans of all…
See? Glad I’m not entirely crazy here.
Ahh, centipedes…. one of those things about living in South-Western Ontario that I don’t particularly miss, right next to the 97% relative humidity present in every basement in the region that breeds them.
It’s a moist, nightmarish stew of legs and evil.
How big do they get up there? You don’t see them much here in Alabama where I live (at least I don’t). When I was stationed in Hawaii I used to encounter huge centipedes. I remember being on a small boat going from the Pearl Harbor submarine base to Ford’s Island and watching one the size of my foot (I wear size 12 shoes) crawl out from under the life jacket storage. Everyone freaked out and went on a stomping rampage trying to kill it.
All that movement set the boat a rockin’! (And no one came a knockin’.)
“Worldwide, an estimated 8,000 species of centipedes are thought to exist” – Wiki I suspect there are enough to take in Hawai’i, Hamilton, and Nothern Mexico (the vicious red-legged variety)
Here we definitely don’t get the huge Hawaiian ones. Rather, we get smaller,thinner, feather-like ones that run at incredibly fast speeds. (The scutigeramorpha variety, to be specific, also known as the house centipede.)
Oh, yeah, I often forget that those little fuzzy ones are a variety of centipede. We pretty much leave them alone to do the job nature intended for them: pest control.
WHAT PESTS!?!? THEY ARE THE PESTS!!!
@EG
If someone really wants to murder the poor little guys, Baldie has had major success with THIS.
He had Pantry Moths, and spent $$ on Pheromone Glue Traps, which caught a lot of moths, but never eradicated them.
One NO-PEST STRIP and they were gone forever.
They’re probably banned here. Everything effective for fighting pests/weeds/anything you’d ever want to kill has been made illegal in Ontario.
The active ingredient is Dichlorvous.
Preston Hardware in Canada carries a very similar product, with the same insecticide.
http://www.prestonhardware.com/SearchResults.asp?Search=No-Pest&Submit.x=14&Submit.y=14
Also, this eBay Seller ships to Canada:
http://www.ebay.ca/itm/Hot-Shot-No-Pest-Strip-Insect-Killer-HG-5580-Lot-of-THREE-3-Pest-Strips-/180559878780
The fact that the NO-PEST STRIP is a solid, not an aerosol, not a liquid, not a powder, makes it easily controlled and much safer, IMHO.
But then the GUMMI’s will take over, and very little can be done to decrease their numbers, short of TOTAL MASTICATION.
EXHIBIT A
why must you give me nightmares sweet kitty
Wow…Colin obviously isn’t into it in the laundry room. I suppose centipedes are a mood killer.
Hey, he isn’t saying no.
@EG
And Robin is beginning to undress….
It’s laundry day! (night)
Colin (addressed to Robin): Girl, drop yer laundry.
(pleeze pleeze pleeze)
Aaaaaaaaaand she slaps him.
On one hand, I can’t really blame Colin and Puck.
But on the other hand, why can’t they just get baby walkie-talkies and be in the car? (I have no idea what the range on those are, admittingly).
I doubt they have baby walkie talkies lying around. They seem to be generally unprepared for the sport of life. And I don’t know what the range on those is either.
Of course they do: RIGHT HERE.
Those aren’t baby monitors. And the range wouldn’t cut it.
They have cell phones though, don’t they? Call one from the other, leave one phone in the room with the baby on speaker phone, mute the other and keep it with you, voila, instant baby monitor. The battery power and call charges may not be efficient for regular long-term use, but it works in a pinch like this.
They don’t have cell phones.
if you´re still coherent enough to watch out for critters, you´re doing “it” wrong….besides, whats wrong with a litle extra tickling sensation?
I don’t care what you’re doing. The sight of a centipede scrambling in your general direction is always a cause to run.
EW EW EW!!!!!!
Well, since no one else is going to say it, I guess it’s up to me…
Enjoy the spin cycle, kids!
*Liked
Someone would. And that someone was you.
I will happily take on the persona of dirty old sailor for this comment section. 😀
(It is a stretch in character for me…:P )
Even better – make sure the laundry load is unbalanced…
OMG
Voting Incentive = TRACEE !!!
Purrrrrrrr………
As unclad as possible, as usual
Well, what were you expecting? It’s not like there’s any hope to hold out for here…
I lovelovelove the new voting incentive! Puck looks FABULOUS!
There are centipedes in Canada?
“Centipedes have a wide geographical range, where they even reach beyond the Arctic Circle. They are found in an array of terrestrial habitats from tropical rain forests to deserts.” -Wiki
“However they do not exist in Susan Schroeder’s apartment” – me
@Susan
MILLIPEDES everywhere are beginning to feel slighted.
O M G
Millipedes and Centipedes have no direct copulatory organs.
No wonder they’re so often in a BAD MOOD !
They also don’t have mouths. They feed through their front two legs, which are hollow and have evolved into pseudo-fangs, which they use to liquefy and slurp up the insides of their prey.
🙁
Can we please stop talking about centipedes and get back to talking about dirty jokes?
Hearty, fast, evil varieties. Yes.
Ya know, when that washer hits it’s spin cycle it can be a wild ride…just sayin’
People keep observing that…
Especially if you have a rug in there: crash, wham, bangitybang
Yeah, when you’ve got kids you don’t get tantric sex… you get FRANTIC sex.
QUICK! IN THE CLOSET BEFORE THEY COME INSIDE! -batman music-
That experience really alters depending on the particular Batman music used.
Is Puck breaking the fourth wall on the last panel? It seems like she’s looking at me!!!!
She is sure not looking at me
I’d originally had it staged where Colin was a bit closer to the camera than Puck, but it looked a bit odd for some reason. So she was looking at Colin, but now it’s more just a drawing error.
I thought she was just looking at her shoulder…
Looks like it’d be kinda a tight squeeze, inside the washer and / or the dryer…
I was thinking they’d do it, you know, on top of them…
I’ve caught up! How did that happen?! Whew.
You obviously have super powers.
“And that’s why we named Miranda’s little brother ‘Kenmore'”[*]
[*] …or whatever brand of inexpensive appliances are popular in Canada.
Yes, Kenmore is available. Through Sears Canada. Though not sure for how long…
@rewinn
At least Kenmore is a name we can all SPELL !
HAPPY WALPURGIS EVE !!
We are 180 days past Halloween 2016, but getting closer now every day to Halloween 2017.
Whoopee !
(Professor Hunmorder is getting nervous now – there is much to do – and barely enough time to do it !!)
Happy whatever-it-is day to you too? I think?
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I ALMOST FORGOT THE HOLIDAY!
Tis the time when witches cavort with the Devil! I believe Tracee has a monopoly this year – as usual.
@Buggle
Sigh.
TRACEE forgot to invite me to the BROCKEN this year.
And I waited by the phone all evening.
I’m sure she was just really busy.
Again.
The Voting Incentive is beautiful !
I’m relieved to see Flower Petals in place of actual Flowers, which I mistrust.
I’m happy with this one. I’m not happy with many of my pictures, but this one works.
Is purty.
Botanical reproductive organs are worthy of mistrust. See the paintings of Georgia O’Keeffe
@Susan
ARUGULA !!
Georgia has really captured their dark and dismal souls !
We’ve all seen them congregating at Funerals, and witnessed them sneering.
True. Racy!
Re: Voting incentive
There once was a lad from Tor Bay,
Who though chancres just went away.
He now has paresis,
Converses with Jesus,
And thinks he’s the Queen of the May.
/medical geek
@Susan
Every time, without exception, when I look up Susan’s fancy words, I regret it.
(think Night Terrors)
Hee hee. 😛
You’re genius.
Tragic.
This bathroom they have must have standing room only and yet there’s an ideal position 😉
Yeah, weird that the car is listed as a valid option, space-wise, but the bathroom is not. We can gather that Puck does not prefer the vertical options, as it were.
Or Phoebes and Daphnes. LOL.
I don’t think anyone in their right mind would want to go down to that laundry room at night.
I repeat, “or Phoebes and Daphnes.” LOL.