THE BONUS STORY ARC COMIC CONTINUES! PAGE 2 UP NOW!
After two years of what the movie folks call ‘development hell’, the Car Wash bonus comic is ready for release! I initially planned this thing to be a print-only comic that would conclude Puck Volume 2, but then Puck Volume Two never really happened due to low (to no) demand, so now I’m putting it as a voting incentive! Yay! Every week will bring a new page, and new pages will be dropping all summer, so please…
VOTE TO WASH THAT CAR REAL GOOD!
Given the technicalities involved, it might be easier to square a circle, explain love, or even define pass interference. (And I’ve co-chaired committees to change the color of the book those regulations are in).
What color is the book that explains love? My copy of Ovid’s ‘Art of Love’ is red, I think. Good reading. Should be required reading in high school, really. Book one: art of love for dudes; book two: more art of love for dudes; book three: art of love for women, in order to balance the universe (literally the reason he gives for why he wrote it); and everyone’s favorite, book four: the remedy for love, or ‘how to get out of a relationship that just ain’t doing it for ya.’
Honestly, I closed with a Futurama reference (“We kept it gray”). The rest was me throwing stuff together. I probably missed that book entirely in my high school years.. I DID happen to start the Song of Ice and Fire series at that time, though. (Fun story, my mom said “You read big books, right? Knock yourself out”). I… wouldn’t recommend that in terms of love, as the setting isn’t too kind. Unless you follow the cultural traditions of some countries in Africa where it is custom to “steal” your bride-to-be from her family. In which case.. the Wildling customs might line up well.
In short… I’m probably not a good reference on the topic of love. But hey, buyer beware and all that, what have ya got to lose?
Well, now I don’t have to wonder who wrote the book of Love. Danny and The Juniors will be so pleased.
I never understood that song because the answer is so clear: Ovid wrote the book of love. Two thousand years ago. It’s a little dated (the section on hots spots to pick up chicks around ancient Rome isn’t as useful now) and gives some startlingly bad advice (like the gem about how you should make sure to sleep with someone else immediately before breaking up with your current boyfriend or girlfriend in order to ensure maximum success in severing those ties) but he wrote it.
To quote Malcolm Reynolds, “So there is kissin’?”
I am assuming … yes.
(concerned proud poppa voice) Now see here, we have to know all the details here. That’s m’girl. 😉
We do not. Besides, imagined details are always more fun.
Wherever is that “LIKE” button? Phoebe is quite appealing in her guise as a coy maid.
Well, she HAS dressed as a French maid before. So a coy maid isn’t that much of a stretch. 😉
Oh, and Daffy’s big eyes in the first and last panels gimmee a chuckle.
@Brother Parvus
An absolute clue that the Vermin Daffy has never enjoyed certain pleasures.
Hopefully, she never does, and is the last of her kind.
Though your vitriol poisons your thoughts, I will readily agree that your observation is correct.
@EG
You know, many Hybrids are sterile – like Mules.
So there’s that hope as well….
Actually, for most mammalian hybrids, including mules (horse father, donkey mother), the males are sterile but the females can often successfully breed with the males of their mother’s species. 😛
Then there is hope? Maybe?
IMO Earth is a much less interesting place because the only species we can communicate complex thoughts with are other humans.
Daphneoids (and for that matter Phoebeoids) would be a net plus; a trifle chaotic (maybe because we don’t internalize their rules) but very interesting POVs. Just look at what the canonically nonhuman Puck has done for the baseline human neighborhood!
I’d like to agree with you. But interestingly enough, anthropology shows us that the world once had multiple human subspecies existing at the same time in a quasi ‘Lord of the Rings’ kind of world. You had the humans, the Neanderthals and the Denisovans (plus maybe some outlying others) spread all over. They met and (we know through genetic testing) totally got it on. On the negative side, though, the world is … curiously bereft of those other human subspecies now. I do feel that our species, were it to meet another intelligent species, would wind up being ‘alone in the universe’ again very shortly by killing off said intelligent species. We seem to be good at that.
Daphne is currently occupying the usual role of Miranda: stay silent and wordlessly emote. Though she will start to speak soon, so I have to keep her around.
I’d throw a few euphemistic questions about just what they did, but I’d have to remember what the euphemisms are first.
Say no more! (wink wink, nudge nudge)
A nod’s as good as a wink to a blind bat!
@EG
BAT JOKES ?
Too soon, man, too soon.
😛
I find random food euphemisms are always good, even if you’re not 100% sure what they mean. Options include…
“Did they frost the cake?”
“Did they slice the pizza?”
“Did they rasp the berry?”
“Did they leaven the bread?”
“Did they spread the marmalade?”
…and the classic “Did they bake in the oven at 350 degrees until the pastry is a golden brown?”
@EG
How about “is there bun in the oven ?”
To paraphrase Bob’s Burgers “Downstairs, grinding the meat”. (Yes, technically they were actually grinding meat for burgers, but you did lay that onion-and-cheese pun of a bun on us).
There’s always, “Not *slept*, Caesar” from I, Claudius.
“I Dig a Pygmy, by Charles Hawtrey and the Deaf Aids. Phase One, in which Doris gets her oats.”
Deep cut, dude. Deep cut.
“It’s the bottom of the ninth. The bases are loaded and you’re one run down. It’s time to kick it through the uprights.”
That is very Poebe. 🙂
I try.
Ahhh this reminds me of a former dalliance.
Her ex still had a key to the apartment. He walks in without knocking and sees me naked in the kitchen making breakfast for she and I.
Him – (insert futile rage turning him beet red as I stood a good 8 inches taller than him) “DID YOU SLEEP WITH MY GIRL?”
Me – “Not one wink.”
Okay, am I the only one who read this and thought, “You stood a full EIGHT INCHES TALLER?!? HOW SMALL WAS THIS DUDE’S JUNK?!?!?” And then I was like, “Ohhhh. Okay. We’re talking a different kind of height here.” Though I am going to assume there was a noticeable similar discrepancy in the way I was thinking too.
Nahhh, I wager he might have been bigger than me in that regard. I’m not only completely average in that capacity but also suffer from “turtle syndrome”.
BUT, I have a 12″ handspan, am double jointed and used to be a free diver. You do the math.
OH PHOEBE. If only you meet your knight in armor. But still, you’re surrounded by gentlemen.
She’s surrounded by gentlemen? Where? I see no gentlemen!
Oh, and there is always turnaround.
This comic has a PG-13 rating?
…
Yeah I can see that.
I’m almost curious what she was about to say but I also think I know, so I won’t ask.
Or will I?
Well, that’s the rating I always click if it’s an option for site classification on ad services or Top Web Comics or the like. It works. It’s definitely not for kids, but it also doesn’t contain anything really problematic. Though if I’m going to follow that rule, I get one uncensored F-bomb that I can drop. Haven’t done that yet.
Farragut? Funnicello? Franks?
Fuggedaboutit.
oh fudge, you said it!
Well, what do ya know. Papa Schnorf’s an old fashioned guy and Phoebe’s smitten.
Not sure whether he’s an old fashioned guy, exactly. Though the “Phoebe smitten” part might be true.
I think that Phoebles has schnorefed more than Tracee recently…
Fair assumption.
@sigpig
Or at least more than Satan !
I have the biggest urge to draw “I” between “H and C” with a white Posca marker on Phobe Shirt.
Wouldn’t you also need to add a second ‘C’ too?
Thank goodness Phoebe is not as vulnerable as she seems.
Nah, Phoebe’s okay. Don’t worry about her. The only vulnerable part to Phoebe is her heart.
Oh, that Eternal Question – “Does it count as sleeping with someone if…?” !
Methinks Daphne and Phoebe may one day renew this conversation.
Methinks you may be right…
“I did not have sexual relations with THAT woman”.
“It was the other one…”
Exactly.
The car wash made me think about this does Daphne have fur?
Yes, Daphne has fur. And yes, someone linked to that clip from the movie ‘Sing’.
…..Played pattycake
Remember Roger and Jessica Rabbit Played Pattycake and it was such a scandal. laying pattycake therefore is Obviously above a Pg-13 Rating youd only see it on a HBO show.
Believable.
Phoebe’s Car Wash attire is definitely eye catching. Tyler/Taylor has definitely taken notice. Phoebe should help oversee the distribution of the money raised for homeless raccoons. Daphne’s reformed behavior appears to have been short lived (she needs to spend much more time under the influence of Phoebe).
Well, note that this car wash comic fits in the narrative between Puck #424 and #425. So this is before the prom arc. Hence the hair.
I’d bet Phoebe designed the pattern herself.
Phoebe makes every car wash better!
That’s the idea, hopefully.
You have a rating system? Who’s enforcing it? Does it exist anywhere but within your imagination? Is there actually any application or relevance of it, or any consequence of “violating” it?
Not exactly. But when you’re interfacing with any other site, like advertising providers or portal sites or whatever, they sometimes ask for a rating, and I usually click on PG-13 if it’s an option. For the record, as any good Youtuber will tell you, the consequences of violating a PG-13 rating is demonetization. At this stage of the game, where my ‘profit’ is barely measurable, though, I guess the consequences would be moot. I mean, it’s not like I’ll be saying, “Oh no! How will I live without that FIFTY CENTS OF AD REVENUE?!?”
I see, so there is some tangible relevance. Interesting.
Are these homeless raccoons refugees from Sandra and Woo?
Possible? Also possible that they’re just your usual raccoons. You know, cuz raccoons don’t usually build houses.
Raccoons are smart. I think they will find somewhere to live.
Exactly.