THE BONUS STORY ARC COMIC CONTINUES! PAGE 4 UP NOW!
After two years of what the movie folks call ‘development hell’, the Car Wash bonus comic is ready for release! I initially planned this thing to be a print-only comic that would conclude Puck Volume 2, but then Puck Volume Two never really happened due to low (to no) demand, so now I’m putting it as a voting incentive! Yay! Every week will bring a new page, and new pages will be dropping all summer, so please…
VOTE TO WASH THAT CAR REAL GOOD!
Ouch. Papa’s a player?
Last week it said he had a girlfriend (albeit maybe “on a break”), he could just be waiting to see how that plays out before he gets too involved with anyone else.
We knew Papa was a player. It was established back at Funderland. Colin saw his phone with the massive list of maybe girlfriend hookups he had.
Before I forget, are we talking three servings of Cap’n Crunch or three. whole. bowls?
I am guessing whole bowls. Who measures cereal by servings, anyway? Serving sizes for cereal are ludicrously small. So at three whole bowls, I’m guessing that’s a whole box. (The box size for Cap’n Crunch, it must be noted, is pretty small by cereal standards.)
I’m guessing 12 – 14 oz. bowls. So, maybe 8 oz per bowl before milk.
> Serving sizes for cereal are ludicrously small.
A common trick to make food look healthy. “Look! Only ____ calories per serving!”
As comedian Brian Regan says, “Two Fig Newtons is not a serving size. I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve. Two sleeves is a serving size!”
@Pat
As a Mutant Jackal, it is possible Daffy actually EATS the actual bowls as well.
They could be paper, right ?
(I hate daffy so much)
Never thought I’d feel bad for her!
Wow, a rough one…
Even the bright and the bold are sometimes vulnerable.
Even more so, since they have this innate drive to see the best in people.
Exactly.
Well, your hard luck, then, Papa S.
Papa must be hunted down, beheaded, and his felt dad bod burned.
Let the dork inside run like a chicken.
It would be satisfying. That much I will say.
Next arc: Phoebe uses a dating app, and then meets a nice guy in the street, or maybe the waiter, when she gets stood up by one of her dates.
Poor Phoebe, should not have listened to Daphne.
I think we’ve had enough Phoebe dating for a little while. Though eventually…
poor Phoebe. with her body she’d make a great belly dancer, and i’d love to go out with her on a date.
A great belly unfortunately doesn’t really have any positive influence on the quality of guy you encounter. Sometimes it actually has a negative effect.
Dude. I’m pretty sure eating three bowls of any kind of cereal is dangerous. Hopefully this is the last time Phoebe will ever take advice from someone who just discovered their feelings for a friend.
I think that it’s generally a good call to never take advice from teens on anything, ever. They are often well-meaning, and their sincerity in incredibly convincing. But their lack of experience means that they are most often wrong.
you forget… They know EVERYTHING (just ask them).
Samuel Clemens (on his first trip to Australia) said…
“When I was 14, my dad was an idiot and I couldn’t stand to be around him.
When I was 21, he was a genius. It is ASTONDING how much that man learned in those seven years!!!
A reporter in the audience noted all the teenagers in the audience looked confused, but all the adults laughed.
That Mr. Clemens was a wise guy. Though only when he wasn’t assembling a carefully curated collection of virginal teen girls to have garden parties with. (That’s a thing he did. Don’t research it if you don’t want the Twain universe to get slightly tainted for you. It never gets Michael Jackson levels of weird, but … yeah.)
Part of me feels bad for Phoebe, but most of me wants to say “GOOD! She’s way too GOOD for him”
(and then watch her dad cringe at that term describing his daughter, heh heh heh)
No argument here.
Oh, poor Phoebs. Well, it’s likely better than what I’ve experienced. 🙁
Well, now you have to share at least one awful story.
Well, I don’t know about YOUR third of the continent, but here in the middle bit, an acceptable way for a young lady to let you know that they’re not interested is to never call you again.
It took me a bit to figure that out.
And I leaned on it too heavily and perhaps didn’t call back women I should have.
And then, there was the person I did that to. I’m VERY ashamed.
Is awfully told awful enough?
Yeah, pretty accurate. It’s even more prevalent, I’ve been told, in this era of texting where it’s very, very easy to ‘ghost’ someone and completely fall off the edge of the planet, as it were.
Very very very easy, in fact. As in, people have messaged my close relatives asking if I was dead. (I’m already a non-entity on most social media, though.. so I’m probably only somewhere north of a Class 5 full-roaming vapor).
Aaaaand Papa Schnorf is a douchebag again. :\
I dunno. He’s not my kind of guy, but we can tell from Phoebe’s end of the conversation that he was pretty straight-up with her. He clearly indicated that what was happening was a “this night only” kind of experience. Again, I’m not a big fan of guys like that, but he was honest.
screw the cereal, phoebe obviously left out the part where he already explained that he wouldn´t be interested in more, so her calling him mere hours after they separated already is so NOT a good move
Exactly. This was a terrible, terrible idea. And she knew it too. But endless optimism in the form of Daphne took over, and it led her where optimism usually leads: misery.
yep.
Benjamin Franklin once said he’d rather be a pessimist than an optimist.
An optimist is constantly disappointed…
a pessimist can be pleasantly surprised.
This is my life motto. I am an eternal pessimist. I always anticipate the worst that can happen. I am often right, but at least I’m not overly disappointed.
I can say, I have eaten a lot of Cap’n Crunch in my lifetime of existing on a lot of various “breakfast” cereals. I have eaten 3 bowls in the morning before (it’s about 1/2 box), back when I had a metabolism that handled it decades ago. Then again, I was the kid who ate powdered Tang by the spoonful, so your mileage may vary.
I do feel that eating three bowls of Cap’n Crunch is something that can be done with a fair amount of ease when one is young. At Daphne’s age, I think she’s still in the safety zone for that.
When I was a boy, Cap’n Crunch was my favorite cereal. The last time I tried it, though, I found it way too sweet. (But I still eat desserts!)
No cereal is sweeter, in my opinion. What’s more, I think the Canadian version is actually much sweeter than the American one. (At least that’s what my taste test determined.) I know Americans are regularly criticized for their sweet tooth, but Canadian snacks are often sweeter.
Well stuff being ok for children and too sweet for adults is NORMAL.
It’s time for massive amounts of chocolate and a girl’s night out. As for Papa Schnorf, I still have the tar and feathers available.
Well, keep the tar and feathers on standby, just in case. At least it would ruin his suit.
Re: Car Wash Comic.
Doesn’t Daphne realize the SHE can be considered “Urban Wildlife” too, since she’s, apparently, at least half-jackal? Would that mean that SHE should be “eliminated” too?
As for the main comic – I feel for Phoebe, but it’s probably for the best. I know that being Papa Schnorf is a pretty big thing, and that the actor probably has a pretty profitable “dried salad” business, but both aren’t what one would call a “career”.
At least she found out now that he’s also a scoundrel instead of planning for days/weeks to see him, only to be ghosted and ignored. In other words, sometimes one just has to rip the band-aid off no matter how much hair it pulls out…
Well, Daphne isn’t concerned because the money isn’t going ANYWHERE … except her pocket. Or for whatever nefarious purposes she’s cooked up. But as for the big Shnorf, I agree with you. He’s not necessarily a bad guy, but he’s bad for Phoebe.
The girls who enjoyed their time with me enough to call for a follow-up were few and far in between. Oddly enough, they were also the only girls I ever asked out again or remember outside the bad ones I’d discover had malignant personalities.
Well, I think that’s a reassuring thing about your personality. It means you’re wolfsbane for evil!
I honestly can’t take all the credit. The power of the golden arches did most of the work.
Hey, you want a fancy girl who eats fancy food or a practical girl who digs a Big Mac? To me the choice is obvious. Good call, sir. Good call.
I’m thinking that Daphne has been a stand-in for the readers in the last few comics.
I’m also thinking that someone deserves to be kicked in the Shnorf.
Enh, not me. Puck is usually the stand-in for me. But I’m a cynic.
Awww Phoebe 🙁
Big. Frowny. Face.
Dang. It can hit pretty hard when you misread the situation. People can be.. problematic. Terms were fairly up-front, but still. Heck, I practically said go for it.
That said, I can’t help but feel bad. I’d give her a hug… but there’s this whole.. “2-dimensional, fictitious, and a total stranger” thing that makes it beyond weird.
So, rather than making this rando hunt down a body pillow and a fabric pattern.. have someone else administer that hug in-world, please. Or set something on fire. That’ll shut me up for a while.
I have yet to release a Phoebe body pillow. Most merch of mine never really sells, but I’d be afraid to even try releasing something like that out of fear that it would sell well.
I’m admittedly pretty lax in the buying of merch. I was raised cheap and it’s a persistent (though cost-effective) habit to break. And I agree.. the thought is unsettling. I follow a long-running cartoonist who has had some… “interesting” fan art of his characters show up on the net. The less known, the better.
Lucky dog. I’d kill for “interesting” fan art! I mean, um… Whatever floats their boat. But not my boat. Is floated. At all.
Cough.
I will note, though, that when you start to type “puck webcomic” into Google, one of the autofill options is “puck webcomic rule 34”. So no one’s making it but OBVIOUSLY someone’s looking for it.
Is that anything like Leroy Jethro Gibbs’ ‘rule 34’?
Without even knowing who that is, I can say it is most definitely not.
Yeah. The fact that it’s out there alone is enough.
Still, I’m convinced rule 34 is kinda a quantum mechanics thing. The resulting fan art springs into being the moment someone has a thought about the subject.. Or a libido equivalent of the collective unconscious. Something like an Akashic Adults Only Section.
Cap’n Crunch has come in a couple dozen different flavours over the years: some of them one-time specials, others seasonal. Mayhap Daphne had one bowl of “Cotton Candy Crunch,” one bowl of “Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch,” and one bowl of “Cap’n Crunch’s Strawberry Shortcake Crunch” (all real flavours).
I’m pretty sure that I tried “Superman Crunch,” which was a promotional tie-in with one of the Superman films.
Alas, if I had been around in the 1970s, I would have had a chance to try “Punch Crunch,” “Vanilly Crunch,” and “Jean LaFoote’s Cinnamon Crunch.”
Cheerios are for chumps.
I can tell you (with much sadness in my heart) that none of those ever make it up to the Great White North. I don’t know why, but it’s like our border guards confiscate all the fun in the cereal aisle as the trucks cross over. That’s why I LOVE going to upstate New York: the cereal aisle. I seriously go down and buy fifteen boxes (the maximum permitted amount that you can cross the border with) of all the crazy cereal varieties that they don’t have up here.
Feeding processed sugar in the form of “breakfast” to generations of children, driving up the obesity levels and causing Type II Diabetes is fine.
But selling a child just ONE Kinder Surprise chocolate egg is a major felony…
You know American policy well.
Eh, what about the pollution of lead in the environment? The internal combustion engine was not the precursor to lead in the environment. Found that out today. Even before the Romans and their lead sugar.
LOVE LOVE LOVE voting incentive.
So sad for Phoebe.
Tell Daddy, sister.
Papa needs KARMA.
When has her dad ever run to her rescue? If anyone would be a karma bringer, it’d be Puck.
@EG
You’re prolly right.
🙁
Did you suspend Patreon?
I just realized I haven’t had a withdrawal from that account since March 1 – yet, I still have access to all my benefits.
Did I miss an update?
I’ve paused all charges for the past many months. I did post a few updates explaining why, but my basic logic is that there are people really suffering financially from this pandemic shutdown, and I felt it irresponsible to take their money at a time like this. Not sure when I’ll actually start charging again. From what I can see, the world’s still falling apart out there.
The closest restaurant to me had a kitchen worker test positive. The result just came today. They closed down immediately for sanitizing.
Yo-ho…
OK. I must have missed those posts.
I see July 1 it has resumed.
Not that it was bank breaking – but, trying to figure out why my books weren’t matching gets me a little panicky. XD
Yeah, I resumed the charges. I had some people who were confused, like you, and others who felt it was unnecessary, and then I had people who were cancelling due to financial hardship, even though Iwasnt charging, so I thought, “Whatever. People can cancel if they need to. But I won’t make the decision for them at this point.”
In a sad way, I especially liked the last, italicized, boldface “Bye”.
I assume that PG said something after her 1st “Bye”, but she was done. Done!
Otherwise, all I can say is that PG is a fool. A fool, I tell ya!
The second bye needed to be there, I felt.
I feel sorry for Phoebe, who is one of the nicest webcomic characters I’ve ever seen. I won’t ask for her to find a better man, but I won’t complain if that happens either.
A bit of backstage craft insight: if you’re planning to partner up a beloved character with a reasonable romantic interest, you usually get a fan backlash. But if you pair up that beloved character with a terrible romantic interest, get people angry, then kick out the terrible one for the reasonable choice you were planning all along, people are so relieved that the bad one’s gone that they accept the new one.
If I were to give Phoebe a boyfriend prior to now, everyone would have said, “He’s not good enough for her.” But now if she gets a boyfriend, everyone will say, “Enh, at least he’s not Papa Shnorf.”
I play the long game. The veeeeeeeerrrrrry long game.
EG, well, I’m glad you’re not just one of those “fly-by-night” artists. 🙂
I am the exact opposite of a fly-by-night artist. I am a crawl-by-day artist. In that I keep crawling, no matter what, even when all evidence points to the fact that I should have stopped crawling years ago.
Re the bonus comic- Tracee looks fantastic! 🙂
Sparkles are always the key.
Dear Electric Gecko, I read what you said on your voting incentive that there was no demand for a Puck, Volume 2. So I went to Amazon and ordered Puck, Volume 1, and now I DEMAND Volume 2. I want all my Puck on non-digital format so Google can’t delete for who knows what reason they will come up with (need all my Puck with me in my bunker). Thank you for this wonderful, humorous, SLOW series. I am forever in your debt.
I thank you for your kind purchase. But your purchase is the exception that proves the rule. You just told me that, and I thought, “Wait a minute! Maybe lots of people have been buying my book without my knowledge! Maybe Amazon lost my payment info! Maybe they secretly owe me hundreds of dollars in royalty payments!” But I logged on found (sadly) that yours was the only purchase in well over a year.
You are a forward-thinking individual, by the way, who can conceive of a time when Puck might completely vanish from the internet. It could happen. Many webcomics have just up and disappeared. Most folks aren’t you, though. And they won’t be prepared when that day comes.
As for debts, I believe I’m the one in your debt for actually reading my stuff. There are billions of webcomics out there. Readers are scarcer.
This was just a moment in the woods.
Our moment,
Shimmering and lovely and sad.
Leave the moment, just be glad
For the moment that we had.
Every moment is of moment
When you’re in the woods…
Goodbye.
Smooth ways to say sayonara.