IT’S HALLOWEEN! THAT MEANS IT’S TIME FOR UNUSUAL SEXY COSTUMES!
You know what we’re talking about: those sexy costumes for the ladies based on concepts that have no right to be sexy. We’re doing a whole series on that for the month of October!
VOTE TO ASK YOURSELF, “WHYYYYYY?”
As for this comic…
We get to the heart of the matter now — the question that people have been speculating about in the comics for a few weeks now: who plays whom?
No answers. Yet.
Isn’t this how the Trojan War started?
Poor, poor Paris. I retell the story of the Trojan War in under five minutes about every semester in my grade twelve English class (it’s vaguely pertinent to a scene in Hamlet) and I always share the following advice: “Guys in this class, if any two or three women ever come up to you and ask, ‘Which one of us is the most beautiful?’ there is only one correct answer. Scream, ‘I cannot tell for I’m blinded by your collective beauty!’ and RUN AWAY.”
FAR FAR AWAY.
Run a mile. Then run three more. Then learn how to convert miles to kilometers.
I would run five hundred miles
And I would run five hundred more
Just to be the man who ran a thousand
Miles to get far from it all
The Proclaimers were smart.
Brilliant. Does that also work for, “Does this make my butt look big? “
I believe there are no safe answers for men (generally) when posed questions like these by women. You may get get lucky, but more likely to get nuked . . .
I told my wife a long time agowhen she asked me that, ok if it makes you look fat im going to tell you if it doesn’t then i’ll say that but im not going to lie because i have a vested interest in how you look also. Do you really want to know?”
Since then she actually takes my word for things whn she buys and we have all been happier for it. Oh and we’ve been married for 35 years.
I’d love to adopt a policy of absolute honesty in my life. But experience has taught me that absolute honesty is dangerous in most scenarios with most people. At least for me. So I go along mostly smiling and lying to everyone. After forty years of experience, I’m pretty good at it.
I seem to have developed a reaction-delayer for when I’m in a delicate situation, which allows me ro ask for clarification, like, “Are you just asking, or do you really want to know?” There’s the implied warning that I infer complete acceptance of consequences on the part of the other.
It works for EVERYTHING.
I do that popular song from Sir Mix-A-Lot during Karaoke. She knows better than to ask my opinion.
Big butts always have their enthusiasts. But there are few people who say, “I like big waists and I cannot lie.” That’s rare, isn’t it?
“Big Bottom, Big Bottom, talk about bumcakes, my gal’s gottem!/Big Bottom drives me out of my mind…”
No. The Trojan war started when Eris, Greek goddess of strife and discord, was not invited to some wedding. The rest went much better than expected, because, seriously, what would you expect when you piss off goddess of discord?
Also, running away was futile. You can’t run fast enough to escape three goddess. Now, if Persephone would be one of candidates, there would be the option to choose her and commit suicide.
I’ll be over here(points to secret lair in antarctica) but don’t call, uninvited guest will be feed to the leopard seals, have nice day. I’m running far away now.
You are an intelligent man. Intelligent men are survivors.
***DLKmusic FAN FICTION: ABSOLUTELY NOT CANON***
(DLKmusic hands Colin a note to help him out of the situation)
Colin: “Excuse me a second” (Goes into other room to read note)
“Colin, listen up you have a couple of outs… try one of these ideas:
a: Tell Phoebe in front of Puck that Pheobe would actually make a better Velma because she’s so smart.”
b: Suggest that one of them be the masked villain, a ghost that enchants all her victims with her stunning beauty.
Good luck my friend.”
(Colin returns to the kitchen)
Colin: “Puck, wouldn’t rather be Scooby Doo?”
RIP Colin, we liked you while you were alive…
Honestly, in this exchange, there is nothing that Colin can say to mitigate the disaster. The Pandora’s Box has already been opened. He’s just best to run to for cover.
He is in both Line of Sight, *And* arms reach…. they are like Hollywood t-rexes right now. Their vision is based on movement & they can smell fear.
Ahem. Everybody knows Velma was the hot one. Dez would agree with me, I’d wager.
I knew you glasses guys would come out of the woodwork eventually.
Nerd girls are great.
What do you mean, “out of the woodwork”? We’ve always been here 😛
Re: the voting incentive, extra-cuddly Phoebe – what’s not to love?
Yeah, I suppose we’re in the woodwork here.
I love frivolesque!
Don’t we all?
I bet Colin is having fun now!
Maybe he could hint that he prefers Velma.
Many men do. It’s been my observation that guys honestly tend to be more in favor of Velma, while girls overwhelmingly view Daphne as the desirable role. This is meaningful somehow, but I’m not sure how.
I’ve never really understood the trend. Yes, Velma is attractive, but I’ve always found Daphne far more so. Then again, I’m bias in favor of redheads.
Yeah. Been wondering about that. Main cast doesn’t really fit naturally into the roles. Not personality and appearance wise anyway.
Ok, Colin totally fits Shaggy, but beyond that?
To say nothing of how Daphne fits in… beyond the namesake of course. Just don’t suggest she go as Scooby…
honestly I think daphne could be Velma, specifically snarky Velma from either the live action movies or scooby doo mystery inc.
Many people are saying that. And I can see it, I suppose. Though I refuse to acknowledge the Scooby-Doo movies. They’re just not my thing. For the record, I feel like “What’s New, Scooby-Doo?” was the pinnacle of Scoob perfection – exactly like the original show, but with decent production values. And the last reunion of the original voice cast. I’ve heard great things about Mystery Inc. but I haven’t seen it.
Can Daphne go as anything but Scooby? Really? I mean, that’s an inevitability.
When you’re saying something like that, who can refute it?
I think it should be someone who can copy the ‘Scooby accent’.
Daphne (our were-terrier, not Scooby’s companion) could pull off a decent Scooby, but she’d rather do something she can convert to a ‘not-too-legal’ scheme.
Being Scooby may have its illegal benefits. I mean, who would suspect Scooby of pickpocketing you?
Whell, only one way to solve this, Put Colin in tights and a mini-skirt.
Hahaha excellent
That’s some King Solomon ‘cut the child in half’ trash right there. I won’t stand for it!
I’m not proposing a civil war to destroy Israel. Or even Ontario. Daphnie and the Velmas.
I did not see this coming.
I did. 😉
You would, but you cheat.
Am I the only one thinking it would have been more appropriate for Colin to have thought “Ruh roh!”?
where’s the like button when you need it!
This is so good, I really wish I’d thought of it.
the warning claxons all around the house should be sounding already.
its to late for Colin but maybe a very strong maybe Tyler and Daphne
can get away fast enough from the expanding event horizon if they take off right now sprinting for a fast car and abandon their phones.
I give them a 6.5002% chance of surviving minimally scathed.
Even daddy Satan is at risk being just a phone call away
I don’t think the fallout will be THAT bad. I mean, one of the combatants is Phoebe. And she’s not very combative.
and whatever Phoebe lacks is more than made up by puck’s typical over-reaction.
Did you mispronounce “6.02e10-23”?
Stay calm, keep quiet, and try to blend into the scenery.
This is Thermonuclear War. There’s not a move you can make that doesn’t result in fallout. (obligatory) “The only winning move is not to play”.
On a side note.. D’oh, stupid sexy teddy.
But the difference is that here, not making a move is also a move. Or at least it will be registered as one. And sometimes it’s the worst move, even when there are no good ones.
Good point. Gotta also softly creep away. Slowly. Once you register as motion, a question will be asked. Then it’s all over but the shooting.
Unless a diversion happens.
Calling Tyler getting roped in as Fred.
There’s only one way out for Colin, and that’s to interrupt by saying that he was going to pick scooby doo, and that he expected Daphne to pick Fred. That’ll leave the two so confused that he can then make his escape.
That requires a certain slyness that Colin definitely doesn’t possess. Also, that requires possibly cosplaying as Scooby, and that’s a knife I don’t think anyone would want to fall on.
Ha! Fair enough
Any talking great dane can do that.
Great danes seem to be fiction’s favorite breed.
There’s Scooby, Astro (the Jetsons’ dog), Marmaduke (newspaper comics), Goofy (Micky Mouse’s best friend, and Pluto (Goofy’s non-speaking pet).
Then (of course) there’s Lucille Ball working 2 episodes of “I LOVE LUCY” with ‘Tiny’ and declaring she will never work with a great dane again.
She said a great dane could lay on the couch and everyone would ROAR in laughter, but nothing you did afterwards would be funny.
ME? I only need to think of when Tiny sat on Lucy’s lap to smile.
They’re comedy gold, I guess. Though I’m not a big fan. They eat too much food, they’re prone to hip problems and they don’t live very long.
The only way this could get worse for Colin is if the two ladies ask him to ajudicate the question which is the most beautiful.
I’m thinking “Judgment Of Paris/Trojan War” levels of worse…
Well, it’s clearly heading in that direction. It is a dangerous direction to head. But the wind is blowing and the craggy rocks beckon…
Daphne may be hotter, but Velma is much,much dirtier. In the art of fighting of course. That’s totally what I’m saying here.
Sure. That’s what you’re saying.
Miranda can play Daphne.
That’s thinking outside the box!
Could’a said Daphne can play Daphne. She’s already got the name.
Er . . . . maybe the great-looking suspect proven innocent in the last two minutes?
Decisions, decisions! How will they ever work this out?
Badly!
One hopes so, for the sake of the story. I trust you to do your very worst.
I confess, having spent my youthful appetite on Elzie Segar, Max Fleischer, Chuck Jones, Tex Avery, and especially Jay Ward (Crusader and Rags were the prototypes for Rocky and Bullwinkle) and that lot, anything H&B or later just doesn’t grab me much, not until shortly before WB went from broadcast to cable (Freakaziod provides buoyancy for my watercraft).
I will admit that Hanna Barbera, while dear to many, is not my jam. They were almost the only source of animated kids’ fare in the 60’s and 70’s but what they did provide was … not always top notch. They had a tight budget. They did the best with what they had.
Scoob and the gang represent the best they ever made. And they knew it, because they spent most of the 70’s copying that formula ad nauseum. But time has a way of stripping away the lesser stuff. Few remember about or care for the enormous cast of HB characters. But love for Scoob is eternal. They will enter the pantheon of characters that never go away, like Sherlock Holmes.
LoL.
You mentioning The great detective rinds me of how he seems to show up when least expected.
I live in a town with multiple top-quality hospitals.
One is a rather large V.A. hospital complex with many streets.
When I saw one of the streets is ‘Baker’ street, i decided to look up “221”.
I did not expect to actually find it…
Much less the “B”…
But I did.
VERY, VERY well marked.
Everyone loves Sherlock.
JabberJaw and Grape Ape were two of my favourites.
Who doesn’t love JabberJaw? (Cough.)
I know Colin would totally be Shaggy (because DUH), but it was still a perfect chance to have him go “Ruh roh” like Scooby.
(I meant, “because ‘Like, duh, man!” Wow. Missed my own vocal inflection chance.)
It was. I missed it. I apologize.
Also the two of them could play Scooby-Doo. One could go as the front end and the other as the back end.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
If Colin really wants to stir the pot, he could mention that Velma is the smart one, and then run.
He would have to be crazy.
This same discussion will probably take place in so many households with two or more women, that the event will produce a mother lode of Daphnes and the problem will solve itself.
So many Daphnes. Though I feel like there would be a healthy number of Velmas too. She does have her fans.
Just ask “Neither of you wants to play the sexy one?”
They’ve already made up their minds on this. You can’t get them to reframe it.
Ruh roh rinreed, Raggy.
You can tell this is fiction, because in the real world they’d be fighting to be Velma.
You think so, hmm?
In my experience on the internet, Velma fan art and cosplay outnumbers Daphne by at least three to one.
Yeah, but that’s because a specific and vocal subsection that is very, very dominant on the Internet has a … thing. For that sort of thing. I feel the Internet is unfairly biased on that front.
Papa Shnorf can go as Shaggy.
Fat green Shaggy? Why not?
Phoebe was just the test question on my latest vote attempt on TWC.
:)))))
With a very, VERY old pic. I gotta change that.
Still perdy.
Nice of you to say. That’s all I really want in life. I want them to say after I’m gone, “Well, ar least he did draw some perdy womens.”
I am only half-joking here.
I can’t believe this page has almost reached 100 posts! Congratulations EG! 😉
Once upon a time, pages topped over 200 regularly. But now we‘ll take what we can get.
I’ve found, unsurprisingly, that comments are more plentiful on story arc comics where there’s a “What will happen next?” quality to them. People like coming up with theories. And I like reading them. Often they’re better ideas than what I actually have planned. But I don’t alter the story. I always stick to my original (slightly crappy) plan.
seems obvious.
Hot red head is Dapne
Glasses girl is Velma/Thelma
shaggy bearded guy is Shaggy
Daphne is Scooby(Scoobette ?)
not sure about Fred
One would think. But sometimes these things have a habit of getting messy.
The hot dog psychiatrist as Fred?
What about either that guy that Daphne got the name tag from at Canada’s Funderland, or that guy who told Puck the cost of repairs. Just because they haven’t been used much for irony’s sake I suppose.
Missed opportunity, EG.
Colin’s final thought bubble should read: ” Ruh Roh!”
Later releases of this comic have already been changed to that.