Jan11
Puck 320
on January 11, 2016 at 10:03 pmChapter: The Happiest Place in Ontario
Characters: Colin, Papa Shnorf
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Happy New Year! If you want to start 2016 right, you’ll want to see Puck’s motivational poster. (Yes, it’s inspired by Rosie the Riveter, but the message has been considerably improved. Words to live by!)
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As for this comic…
After reading this one, my wife sighed. “Amusement parks,” she hissed in a dismissive tone. “I hate amusement parks. They’re creepy and hot and bright and druggy and … wrong.” And though I love amusement parks, I can’t really argue with any of her points.
chocolate is ALWAYS an acceptable payment.
But melty chocolate from your pocket? That’s bad currency in my books. I hate melty chocolate. Especially M&Ms, when they fuse together into a macro-clump. Gross.
Meh. They’re in a sealed plastic bag.
Macro-lumps just provide a big lump of chocolate that conveniently fits in one hand.
Is that how he got those hot girls? Gardening weeds?
It never hurts, I’ve been told.
Don’t forget the shaggy, ungroomed beard and Atari ET shirt. Colin really does scream pothead with that look. I wonder if that ever came up with his drug dealing neighbor?
I think that they were able to move into the neighborhood because Stan was there first.
Yeah, you can’t blame Papa Shnorf for coming to certain conclusions about the guy.
You know you are a Puck addict when you see a new comic you scream PUCK! out loud while your wife is sleeping.
You need to stop doing that. I don’t want your wife to hate me.
she might have wondered why you were dropping an F-bomb
I like your wife :3 i hate amusement parks fair’s and stuff when my parent’s make me go my little brother ( he’s a close friend so he’s like my little brother ) hates them as well i carry him as a shield the whole time while our parent’s went to go get us food they made us sit at a table and the next table over was a woman (21-ish) and a man (45-ish) and she got mad at him and threw her beer at him it got him in the face and me in the back ( i got to go home smelling like beer )
You story is what my wife thinks of as a typical amusement park experience. Mine have always been more positive, but some parks… The low budget ‘two steps up from carny-type’ parks? Not so fun.
yeah…. only slightly though….
That’s just me i know there are great amusement parks out there and all but i’m not a fan of it all in my mother’s words i am a ‘pessimistic negative little troll’ so yea that’s just me
Hey, if you’re a pessimistic negative troll, the internet is totally the place for you! 😉
It is! may i ask what does Puck’s parent’s look like? I’ve wanted to ask this for a while :/
I dunno. I don’t think we’ll ever see Puck’s parents. Maybe she was born of dewdrops in a field of gossamer and fern.
So you’re saying her mum is named Dewdrop and she was, um, entertaining two fey named Gossamer and Fern so she doesn’t know which of them is Puck’s father…?
😉
But seriously, Puck is such a tough Fey, I figure her parents must be powerful elder Fey who dwell in the pristine wilderness of the Other Realm.
Or really tough, trashy fairy types who hang out in fairy trailer homes.
I dunno, I get a vibe that Puck’s kin in terms of magnitude and competency are less “the Fair Folk” and more “ the Mooninites”.
You might be onto something there.
Ok, Papa Shnorf gets a pass! How can I possibly despise “shnorfs” now and still look at myself in the mirror?
Hopefully the face looking back at you in that mirror is slightly less horrifying.
Yeah, only slightly though…
Sorry about the double post….
Hmmm . . . now, it would seem to me that Colin will have to organize a jailbreak because otherwise Daphne will squeal on him to Puck about not guarding Miranda with his life . . . . which will lead to Colin joining Daphne and Taylor in detention . . . . which will lead to . . . to . . all that comes to mind is Puck in Darth Vader’s helmet and after that, nothing.
Yeah, but Colin doesn’t know that. Yet.
I have never seen anyone required to smuggle in M&M’s to an amusement park, come to think of it.
I have to say, I agree with your wife. I don’t mind them, but she’s not wrong on any of the points (except for it being wrong. Eh, that’s a personal opinion thing anyway).
I am almost disappointed he didn’t ask Colin if he had any weed earlier. Almost.
This park in question has a strict ‘no outside food’ policy. Because the food inside the park makes the prices at the movie theater look downright affordable.
Thats why people bring picnic baskets and leave them in the car. But besides that, who else brought food?
Hard to believe Colin wouldn’t be carrying…
I know, right?
Suddenly I’m picturing Pappa Schnorf “hot-boxing” his costume.
6-yo-girl: “Mommy, why is smoke coming out of Pappa Schnorf’s head? He smells spicy!”
I think that’s what they design those costumes for.
If all those girls smoked they would stop being 9+ and go to tubb-o+
Yeah, I guess the munchies have a certain effect.
Looks like Colin will get out of trouble thanks to Papa Shnorf.
Oh ye of too much faith.
Colin will still find a way to screw this up.
You know him so well.
He’ll have Dafne’s help.
WTF??? You mean to tell me Colin is just naturally that dumb?? And all this time I just assumed it artificially enhanced!
Totally natural. Natural blond, too.
WAS artificially enhanced I meant to type. And no, Im not burning one as I type this. lol
Must be really hot out if M&Ms melt, because the candy shell is designed to stay intact until they get inside the heat that the human mouth maintains, which is far beyond most cities normally get.
Well, they might not totally lose their structural integrity, but I think Colin kept them in his pocket, which means they were probably kind of mashed up too. My section of Canada, by the way, can get stupid hot in the summer. It’s like NYC that way: bitter cold in the winter, swelteringly hot and sticky in the summer.
My grandfather said the same thing about southern Alberta near Dinosaur Provincial Park when he visited it for the National Park Service (U.S.); it was near 103F/39C in the summertime, and this was in the late 80’s-early 90’s.
And that section of Canada is even colder in the winter: like, -40 F cold sometimes.
They call it “The Badlands” for a reason.
“Stupid hot” does not mean the same thing in every city, though. Here in northern Ohio, “stupid hot” means 90F/32.2C, but if you go down to Arizona, you get 120F/48.8C. Both are considered “stupid hot” by those living there.
But yeah, I hadn’t considered radiant body heat combined with external summer heat and humidity. Because it take more than just normal radiant body heat to melt real M&Ms. 🙂
And temp’s not the only factor. See, ‘stupid hot’ is probably 32 Celsius here, but then there’s the humidex, which isn’t really a factor in Arizona. The heat waves here sometimes get to 35 C, but with the humidex it can be in the high 40’s.
I hate summer. Everywhere.
Yeah, humidity was factored into my mental calculations. What’s worse is when you’re in a high heat area like Arizona but also the humidity of anywhere next to a lot of water. Like San Antonio, Texas. That had the worst of both worlds; far enough south to have that 48C heat, but having the Rio Grande river running through it giving LOTS of humidity. And I had to live there in July and August, the hottest months of the year. 🙁
I’ll make a note never, ever to go there. Ever.
Hi, when talking heat, Arizona got Texas beat. BTW, the Rio Grande does NOT go any where near San Antonio. El Paso, Tx, yes, but hey we are in the Sonoran Desert. So, the RCAF loves to come here in the fall/winter.
M&M’s melt here, too.
Yes, scifijoe, as previously stated, Arizona has Texas beat in pure heat. But it is the San Antonio River, previously incorrectly stated as the Rio Grande, that grants humidity not present in the desert. And humidity plus high heat creates more discomfort than pure heat alone, as previously stated.
But the hottest place in the world is still in Hawaii. On Mauna Loa. Inside Mauna Loa. Or at the core of the planet. Even better.
No, I’m not commenting on the people in the background.
Come on, man! I drew the woman in panel four just for you!
Gee, thanks.
I for one would like to see more of the woman in panel four.
Well, that makes one of you!
Did you draw all the hot girls on Papa Snorf’s phone just for him, too? :p
Well, the word’s out on that one.
Papa Snorf needs to be a regular; im liking this guy in an odd way.
We should never see him outside of the costume though so that might make future appearances a tad bizarre lol
I initially had planned to have Papa Shnorf take off the head at the end of this, but it occurred to me halfway through this adventure that must never happen. He must always remain Papa Shnorf forever.
Where can I buy a Phrygian Cap, in my size ?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phrygian_cap
Phrygian Cap = Chick Magnet
They do have a certain kind of gnomish masculinity to them.
Here’s an idea. Papa Shnorf as a recurring char because he’s always in a mascot suit and asking for weed.
Is Howlers still looking to hire a new mascot since Puck didn’t work out? And Satan could be his dealer. I bet Satan would have some chronic bud.
He will return. Oh yes, he will return.
OMG OMG OMG
Just watched SMURFS II on DVD. It is hilarious !!
Sure, VEXY & HACKUS are fun, but AZRAEL & GARGAMEL steal the show !
The slapstick, physical comedy, and facial expressions they put on Azrael and Gargamel are so entertaining !
Gargamel’s MAGIC SHOW alone is worth the price of admission.
And I always found the Smurfs fairly tepid, not clever, and entirely forgettable.
But SMURFS II has turned that universe on its ear !
This is sarcasm, right? Please tell me it’s sarcasm.
But no, no sarcasm.
These new Smurfs have freckles – FRECKLES !!!
What’s not to like ?
And yeah, when I watch Azreal and Gargamel, I do admit Baldie and I are living vicariously through them.
You can’t tell me your children didn’t love SMURFS II.
I’m watching it again – soon !
There is no way, NO WAY any Shnorf-Based Funderland would ever lack Azrael and Gargamel.
After all, they’ve been pivotal in nearly every episode since the first episodes in 1961 !!
( The Smurfnapper (Le Voleur de Schtroumpfs) )
Yeah, but they’d have to be called by some off-brand names, like ‘Uriel’ and ‘Gurglebob’.
The original ‘Smurf Village’ walk-through attraction at Wonderland, coincidentally, DID have an entire room devoted to Gargamel’s laboratory. It piped in his ominous theme music, and there was lightning and thunder, and I remember it legitimately being sort of terrifying for a kid.
“Gurglebob” is awesome – just right.
“Uriel” ? I dunno. Let’s stew on it a bit. It may be the best we can come up with, and maybe not.
As far as the Laboratory goes, that sounds so freakin’ awesome. What a shame Satan couldn’t have purchased it after Funderland closed the attraction.
I’ll have to ask Professor Huhnmorder his thoughts on the matter. We both love evil Laboratories. But just the kinds that spark. Not the Torture Chamber types (yuk).
Hey, is Notify me of follow-up comments via e-mail new ? Luvin’ it !
I installed a ‘notify by email of follow-up comments’ plugin a few years ago. And I thought it didn’t really work. But it turns out that it has its own special options menu in WordPress, and I had to click ‘enable’. Wish I’d known that a few years ago instead of stumbling on it now.
From Smurfs.Wikia.com
Canada’s Wonderland At Canada’s Wonderland near Toronto, Smurf Forest opened in 1984. It featured “Smurf Village”, a walk-through attraction which portrayed life in the titular setting, as well as Gargamel’s house. The Gargamel section frightened children so much that the park had to eventually open the emergency exit for families who wished to bypass it.
See? I didn’t lie. It was pretty legit. (I mean, if you put a kid in ANY room with extremely loud thunder sound effects, flashing lights and creepy music, it’s probably going to terrify him, even if it’s full of happy teddy bears.)
Oooooh !
The lines to to the water slide are also WAY too long. The other lines are just normally too long.