AUGUST VOTING INCENTIVE!!! ANIME-TYPE FUN!!!
Yes, this voting incentive is inspired by Ghost in the Shell! The anime! Or the manga! NOT the Hollywood movie! Because … I haven’t seen that one! And remember, this voting incentive was chosen by special fans who donate $5 or more a month! If you want to join their controlling ranks, HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
VOTE BECAUSE MASAMUNE SHIROW IS RAD!!!
Also...
For those who are interested, there’s an alternate version of this very comic up on my Patreon feed right now featuring a totally different joke. (The alternate rendition may or may not be funnier than this one. I can't tell.)
As for this comic…
For the record, my surgical oncologist did use those words about the 'cancer lottery'. His specific wording was, "In terms of cancers that can strike a young man, you won the cancer lottery." Yaaaaaaaaay?
My whole experience with cancer was always a bit of an awkward one, specifically because I had a very curable form of the disease. I always felt a bit like a poseur, because if I said, "I have cancer," people automatically think you're about to die. But then it's awkward saying, "No, it's not like that; it's not that bad," and ... yeah. Awkward. That's the word.
For those who are curious, medical science isn't entirely sure why TC is so treatable, but one of the prevailing theories basically goes that +esticular tissue is highly unsuited to spreading throughout the body because it needs a cooler environment to thrive. That's why the boys are down there in their own baggy, air-conditioned home. If the +esticular tumor goes malignant and starts invading the rest of the body, the cells are usually already kind of compromised, which might make them more responsive to treatment. At least that's one theory.
Also, a lot of guys (like me) discover the tumor before it metastasizes to other areas of the body. Then it's just one-and-done surgery.
And I bet a lot of people never wanted to learn any of this. Sorry.
In other news, I've sort of been miffed that certain comics have recently been exporting from my program in a slightly ugly fashion. For instance, if you look at last week's comic, you'll notice in panel two that the outline of the doctor's head looks kind of jagged and messy. I've decided to start exporting in a different way for a smoother bitmap. The end result should look sharper, though the image is a little less vibrant because of the anti-aliasing. Let me know if you like the new look or the old one.
![The cancer lottery would need a slogan like, "The prize is ... YOUR LIFE." Which also sounds like a great action movie tagline.](https://puckcomics.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/puck-404.png "The cancer lottery would need a slogan like, "The prize is ... YOUR LIFE." Which also sounds like a great action movie tagline.")
Puck 404
AUGUST VOTING INCENTIVE!!! ANIME-TYPE FUN!!!
Yes, this voting incentive is inspired by Ghost in the Shell! The anime! Or the manga! NOT the Hollywood movie! Because … I haven’t seen that one! And remember, this voting incentive was chosen by special fans who donate $5 or more a month! If you want to join their controlling ranks, HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
VOTE BECAUSE MASAMUNE SHIROW IS RAD!!!
Also...
For those who are interested, there’s an alternate version of this very comic up on my Patreon feed right now featuring a totally different joke. (The alternate rendition may or may not be funnier than this one. I can't tell.)
As for this comic…
For the record, my surgical oncologist did use those words about the 'cancer lottery'. His specific wording was, "In terms of cancers that can strike a young man, you won the cancer lottery." Yaaaaaaaaay?
My whole experience with cancer was always a bit of an awkward one, specifically because I had a very curable form of the disease. I always felt a bit like a poseur, because if I said, "I have cancer," people automatically think you're about to die. But then it's awkward saying, "No, it's not like that; it's not that bad," and ... yeah. Awkward. That's the word.
For those who are curious, medical science isn't entirely sure why TC is so treatable, but one of the prevailing theories basically goes that +esticular tissue is highly unsuited to spreading throughout the body because it needs a cooler environment to thrive. That's why the boys are down there in their own baggy, air-conditioned home. If the +esticular tumor goes malignant and starts invading the rest of the body, the cells are usually already kind of compromised, which might make them more responsive to treatment. At least that's one theory.
Also, a lot of guys (like me) discover the tumor before it metastasizes to other areas of the body. Then it's just one-and-done surgery.
And I bet a lot of people never wanted to learn any of this. Sorry.
In other news, I've sort of been miffed that certain comics have recently been exporting from my program in a slightly ugly fashion. For instance, if you look at last week's comic, you'll notice in panel two that the outline of the doctor's head looks kind of jagged and messy. I've decided to start exporting in a different way for a smoother bitmap. The end result should look sharper, though the image is a little less vibrant because of the anti-aliasing. Let me know if you like the new look or the old one.
HUZZAH ?
Is that a genuine Canadian Colloquialism ?
I though that it died out with 17th Century Purates.
It did die out in the 17th century. I just find antiquated diction rather funny.
“PAULA, YOU WH… !”
O M G – I am so sorry. I just thought channeling phrases from past centuries was IN this week.
(forgive me)
I hope I never am entered into that lottery.
It’s not a hot ticket item, really. No one’s lining up at the convenience store to participate.
It’s more like the Selective Service draft lottery.
Love Col’s fake optimist expression. Love it!
Oh, and IIRC, “huzzah” shows up in both “The Rover Boys on the River (1903), and “The Battleship Boys in Foreign Service” (1918?).
See, SalemCat? ‘Huzzah’ is WAY more recent than the 17th century!
Hmmnnn …. under consideration ….. RE-JECTED.
For my personal All-Purpose Exclamation-O-The-Week I’m sticking with PAULA, YOU WH… !
“The Battleship Boys In Foreign Service” was one of the first novels I ever read, back before I had a clear grasp on the concept of fiction. Thus I was lead to believe that “Huzzah!” was something modern sailors actually said. (It was a beloved book in my father’s collection, amassed during WW2 – the most prominent being “Dave Dawson” who seemed to have a talent for being assigned to air squadrons just before they participated in a major military crisis. In my heart I still wonder why he never got the Medal of Honor).
The current storyline returns me to that time when the line between fact and fiction is blurry. How much is real? how much is fiction? Does it matter?
Blurry lines between fact and fiction (or ‘faction’, as the industry calls it) are fun! Way more fun than plain old regular facts. I remember an interview with one of the guys on the Jamaican bobsled team that inspired the movie ‘Cool Runnings’. He said, “I like the way the movie ended better. I’m glad everyone remembers that version.” Sounds about right.
“FACTION” ?
Finally – a better name for what we see in American News every day !
Yep. That’s pretty accurate.
Hey, if you’re gonna get cancer, you might as well get the “nicest” (using that word VERY loosely here) kind of it.
As for the drawing style: I agree that the doctor’s head looked a bit… Clunky in the last comic, but overall, I like both drawing styles as neither differ too heavily from one another.
Yeah, it’s not the drawing style that’s changed but the way I convert the vector into a bitmap. It’s one of those annoying technical things, but I used to just hit ‘export’ from my program and directly export to the size of picture I needed. Now I’m exporting to a much larger size, then using a photo editor to shrink that pic down to size. It just results in a softer but smoother pic.
oh doc, just you wait until you meet the ‘distraught wife’. after you survive that encounter, you´ll prefer colin no matter which way.
Yeah, true enough. Everyone is easy by comparison.
I can hardly wait!
PUCK: CURE HIM!!! CURE HIM DAMMIT, OR I’LL RIP YOUR SPINE OUT WITH SAFETY SCISSORS!*
*an actual threat I once used on a drama classmate who hadn’t memorized any of his lines a week before the show
Safety scissors? They’d have to be modified to provide a honed cutting edge. Those things can barely get through paper.
That’s why they’re so threatening! You’re practically removing the vertebrae with a blunt object! It would be extraordinarily painful.
I carry a pair of bandage scissors in my lab coat pocket, along with pen, notebook, tape measure, and spare Hemovac needles. I am familiar with Mayo, Metzenbaum, Wagner, and iris scissors. Safety scissors I have not seen, though.
You ever been in kindergarten?
I remember having a pair of scissors with blunt tips. That didn’t stop me from sticking them in Tommy Christiansen’s eye. I don’t recall the term “safety scissors”. They told me they were dangerous implements and not to do that again,even if he did look under my dress.
THESE are my favorite scissors.
@Susan
HA! Good for you!
@Buggle
They remind me of TRACEEE.
“I have some good news and bad news. First the bad news. You’ve got a one in one hundred chance of dying of +esticular cancer. But here’s the good news. See that pretty nurse? I’ll be having my way with her tonight.”
That doesn’t make me feel better.
@EG
At least someone’s having fun ! 😛
I could have tested your obscenity filter with that joke.
That’s one of many reasons why I like working for a female surgeon. Patients always assume you are having an affair with the boss if the boss is male and remotely attractive.
Would they make that assumption if you were a guy? No, I bet not… >:/
You would bet correctly. Male healthcare personnel may cause doubts in patients about their sexuality, but seemingly never about whom they are having affairs with. Reminds me of a big, rough-looking guy whom I work with regularly who used to be a truck driver. He told me that a guy in a bar asked him once why a guy like him would want to become a NURSE? His answer: “The pay’s good, you can find a job anywhere, and it’s cool in the summer and warm in the winter.”
Guy thought about it and said, “Makes sense.”
I would go into nursing on that description alone – save for the fact that I know it would involve squicky moments, which I’m not sure I can tolerate. 😛
If you are cut out for Healthcare, you wall off all your nausea-inducers into one. Me, it’s vomit. I can tolerate blood, excrement, sputum, pus, and gangrene with great sang-froid, but emesis makes me queasy. Our OR supervisor harks at sputum. Etc.
Blood, pus and vomit I think I could deal with. My mind blanks out at the concept of s-word, and I don’t know what sputum is.
Heck, Buggle, you may not even be cut out for dog ownership. (oh, there is another s-word yuckie that they taught me to deal with, but since I work for a Gynecological Surgeon, I don’t have to deal with it. Not that it looks like anything but spoiled milk and doesn’t smell as bad)
I *do* own a dog. I go ‘ew’ every time I pick up her poo. But that’s through a bag, and it’s different. With nursing it’d be bedpans, and isn’t that more exposed?
(I think my main problem with the other s-word would be containing my look of disgust – I wouldn’t want to humiliate the patient any further.)
Bedpans you just wash out. There’s a specially designed sink and everything, in every nursing station. Even in the ER/ED. I wish puppies would learn to use a bedpan. It would save me a fortune in carpet shampoo
Heck, the other s-word, the patient just hands you the condom. I learned that in school
I was going to go into nursing on that description, but I lost patience with all the prerequisites.
@Susan
You just need to train them to ring a bell hung on the door the backyard, if you have one – then train yourself to answer it every time. Or just take them for more walks.
And Ew, the washing out would mean you have to touch it – you do that with gloves, right? But what if it gets on your arm?
@Buggle
“TRAINING” ??
I am beginning to suspect your full name is Ms Buggle PAVLOV !!
(oh crap. i’m drooling again)
I like this doctor’s attitude so far.
He is MUCH better than the one who got punched by Puck.
Well, he’s a little less insane. That’s a good thing.
It’s a VERY good thing!
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity – and many Bond villains are genius.
I think that if I was Colin I would also be a doubting Thomas.
This Cancer treatment center amazes me because how much it looks like a luxury prison.
A LOT of money was donated to the hospital this was modeled off (essentially, enough to BUILD the darn thing) by a very philanthropic family. The idea was to make the place as pleasant as possible, because it has such a grim purpose. It is probably the best cancer treatment/research centres in Canada, if not North America.
I have learned, over the years, that patients are VERY self-centered, especially in times of contact with healthcare personnel. That’s why treatment rooms are soundproofed. It’s not so the patient secrets won’t get out (though that is an important side-benefit) but so they won’t hear US (the healthcare personnel) discussing other cases. They ALWAYS think you are talking about them.
And it does no good, Doc, to try and get them to sympathize with your “grim day.” Their first thought is, “YOU get to walk out of here disease-free and I am stuck.” Families are even worse.
So what you’re saying is … being a healthcare professional is a BARREL OF LAUGHS!
Actually it is, providing you can laugh at yourself and your fellow healthcare personnel. And the patients. And drink a lot. Since I do all these things, I wouldn’t change for anything but being a wealthy layabout.
The jargon doesn’t help
Survivable or not, treatable or not, cancer is still cancer. It’s terrifying how a body can turn against itself like that by unstable cell division. We have no idea what causes it, and no cure for it besides a knife or laser. It is terrifying beyond comprehension, and I’m glad that EG both survived his encounter, and is able to write about it in a way that can make other people laugh.
Yep. Pretty terrifying.
Please allow this doctor continue with the dry wit. I love it!
Of course Colin makes it too easy for him. 🙂
I can’t stop him now. It’s too much fun.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(I’m dead. Colin’s face in Panel 4 scared my socks off and gave me a heart attack)
@Buggle
NO !!!!
I’m calling Dr Huhnmorder – he has equipment that SPARKS & BUZZES.
We’ll save you Buggle !!
IT’S ALIVE !!!
I will never be able to get the image out of my head. NEVER.
(Those teeth will haunt my nightmares)
It’s not that scary. Just a little?
It looks like the face someone would make playing peek a boo with a baby… Some kids still have PTSD from that game…
Yeah, watching the faces that adults pull when talking to babies can be thoroughly terrifying.
Eyes…too wide….teeth….too big…mouth….too big….face…too small….
*shudder*
Reminds me of the time a Dr. said I had as much chance of dying on the freeway as of cancer. The week before my diagnosis came back…….
Well, the freeway IS very dangerous…
But the likelihood of death depends on one’s common sense and situational awareness – which cancer does not…
A friend of some of my coworkers has just been diagnosed with cancer and has 6 months to live. I didn’t know him but apparently he was in my grade or something? You’d think with all the diseases and natural disasters that could occur people would be capable of getting along.
You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Like, “I’m dying, so let’s hug,” instead of, “I’m dying, so let me spit in your face just one more time.”
Or “there’s so many things that can kill us so let’s all get along and treat each other with decency”
Note to self: do not watch the news.
Where there is life, there are d***heads. And many of them don’t actively realize that their time on this earth is short, and so don’t even have the capacity to find some basic human decency in themselves.
As a doc said in a novel I read once, “There are so many diseases, you are bound to get one or two and one of them is going to kill you. Accept that and don’t worry about it.” (“The Dynasty” by Charles H. Knickerbocker, I’m pretty sure)
Very good advice.
If there is anything Hollywood has taught me, it’s that nearly every assault on our bodies gives us SUPERPOWERS.
Radioactive Spider, Lightning Strike, Ancient Curse – it’s all GOOD.
BUT CANCER ? Colin gets Nada.
He’s been cheated, I tell ya !
Healing factor!
@Buggle
Can he bring my TAIL back ?
No. Healing factors only work on the people who have them. If *you* get cancer like Deadpool, maybe…
@Buggle
Damnation !
It’s appearing more and more that, in order to get my tail restored, I’m going to have to ask Dr. Huhnmorder.
But his assistance comes with a terrible price !
(last time it was like $50)
You could sell your soul to Satan, and get a tail that you’ll never lose again!
@Buggle
Thanks (i think).
But – I already tried that route, and Satan pretty much laughed himself silly at the notion that the SOUL OF A CAT was a valuable commodity.
(i get no respect – none at all)
Threaten to hack up everywhere in his mansion until he does give you one! He seems like that kind of pushover.
@Buggle
Deals with Satan always end up with unfortunate results – pretty much like wishing on a Monkey’s Paw.
Not with *this* Satan, or so it would seem.
@Buggle
Well, Canada’s Satan may not be quite as harmless as you may imagine.
The things I’ve seen while
STALKINGadmiring TRACEEE might horrify many.Like the time I observed Satan “enhancing” a Hot Dog on a Toasted Bun with PEANUT BUTTER as a CONDIMENT !!!!
(GAG)
Colin’s face in panel four is the stuff of my nightmares.
Maybe he can get a job as a clown. Then your nightmares could be complete.
A horrifying Halloween voting incentive!
@Buggle
If I were a Clown, I’d HATE Stephen King to my dying day.
That b@$tard has pretty much destroyed the Clown Industry single-handed.
Who wants a CLOWN at any kid’s Birthday Party anymore ?
I never did and I have not read Stephen King to this day. Well, except for “Christine.” But it was about a car. I like cars. I tried to read those Gunslinger things but they are just awful IMMHO
@Susan
I liked the films “Carrie” “Christine” “Creep-show” “Pet Cemetery”.
But little else. And I won’t be watching “IT”.
Stephen King has become so political he repulses me now.
I can’t follow King’s longer works but his novellas can be awesome. Consider the collection “Different Seasons” – isn’t horror (dreadful things do happen from time to time but not in a supernatural way). It consists of four novellas, three of which were made into movies: “Shawshank Redemption”, “Apt Pupil” and “Stand By Me”. The last one (“The Breathing Method”) has its climax in an ER, sort of.
I don’t watch horror movies. I like romantic comedies and sci-fi (read “Star Wars”) “Alien” caught me unawares. I prefer Wookies and Jabba the Hutt to HC Geiger designed monsters
@Susan
You’re going to adore PORGS
Bah. Ewoks sans the fur. I’m still mad cause Han got killed
@Susan
I’m still trippin’ on Leia in her golden “slave” bikini – Purrrrrrrrrrr
Well, you better have all your figurines, ’cause Disney is discontinuing any merchandising representing “Slave Leia.”
@Susan
Sadly, you’re probably not joking.
http://www.techtimes.com/articles/103045/20151104/disney-discontinuing-slave-leia-star-wars-merchandise.htm
@Susan
If there are any Statues of Princess Leia, we must tear them down !
Dang it! And I skipped out on getting that Slave Leia Lego minifig the last time they put into production. (Though I DID get the Oola slave minifig.) Now it’s going to go for a million dollars. DANG IT!!! That teaches me a lesson: the firstlings of my heart should be the firstlings of my wallet. The second I want something, I need to BUY IT!
@EG
As a long time collector (tho not of Lego) I can echo your sentiments.
90% of the memories I regret are are items I DID NOT BUY.
But, 10% are of things I did DID, and then wish I never sold.
(sigh)
Less than 1% (far less), are of things I bought that I never should have.
“For those who are curious, medical science isn’t entirely sure why TC is so treatable, but one of the prevailing theories basically goes that +esticular tissue is highly unsuited to spreading throughout the body because it needs a cooler environment to thrive. That’s why the boys are down there in their own baggy, air-conditioned home. If the +esticular tumor goes malignant and starts invading the rest of the body, the cells are usually already kind of compromised, which might make them more responsive to treatment. At least that’s one theory.”
… this makes me ask: if you get cancer in ONE +esticle, how likely it is to spread to the second one? Will they cut off both just to be sure?
Answer: yes, sometimes. It can spread from one to the other, but it’s actually far more likely to spread into the lymph system and into the rest of the body. If it does spread to both, though, then yeah. You, um, you lose both. But as I already said, the chances of it appearing in the other is really low, so no, they only take the one. And you can live quite happily (read ‘no change at all in your life whatsoever’) with one.
“Paula, You Wh… !”
“Egad !”
“Funk !”
“Aroint Ye !”
Since EXCLAMATIONS FROM PAST CENTURIES WEEK is drawing to a close, I just figured this was my last chance.
EG used that last one in the comic itself. 🙂
All of these can be found in the Comic itself.
“Paula, You Wh… !” were Robin’s actual first words.
I think I would be a doubting Thomas too if I was Colin.
Once again, I refuse to Google MASAMUNE SHIROW because I think I would find it depressing
I know what Phoebe and Daphne were doing on this day. 🙂
Do you? Cuz I don’t.
They were going to a bachlorette party somewhere in the States. I doubt they remember much, it was a weird night and a unique bride.
Went, sorry. Wrong aspect. D sentence. Minus.