Dec21
Puck 317
on December 21, 2015 at 9:13 pmChapter: The Happiest Place in Ontario
Characters: Colin, Papa Shnorf
VOTE FOR PUCK ON TWC AND GET FESTIVE!!!
I ask you: who doesn’t want an excuse for trashy holiday outfits and horribly awful elf puns? Obviously not me, so step right this way! Puck gang continues a festive tradition of sexy elves. Because, well… Because. That’s the best I can do.
VOTE TO GET ON THE NAUGHTY LIST, WHERE ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE!
As for this comic…
We jump back to Colin now to sort of unify this whole story arc. The characters have been split up for a while now. Since June, actually. Wait, only a few hours of story time have passed since June? Sigh.
Papa Shnorf also makes his return. We’ll learn more about him in coming weeks, I think.
Nothing like a big bearded guy, eh? But it doesn’t look good from that angle, does it?
I knew somebody would say that. So now you said that. And here we are.
What?
Nothing like a big bearded guy?
-or-
It doesn’t look good (for our hero) from that angle?
-or-
It doesn’t look good (deus ex mecha-schnorf) from that angle?
-or-
Nothing looks good from that angle, except for your spouse after finding your contact lens in a secure C.I.A. elevator?
Perhaps all of the above.
Colin a hero?
I’d hate to consider the situation that would make Colin a hero (at least, in the traditional sense).
Changing “Everyone but Arthur” to “Colin”, How about Gecko’s version of either “Monty Python’s Holy Grail” or “Spamalot” Yup in that situation, Colin can easily be the hero, and suffer painfully for that fact…
Colin’s heroism sometimes rises to the forefront. But it’s usually motivated by a base of fear.
Love the vote incentive pic this week, although I was half expecting Daphne….
I guess she’s just a little too elf-centered to do this one….
Could she be next week?
Maybe next week? I dunno.
Who else is there? Hot dog guy’s wife? Cop who arrested Tracey? Robin’s mother in law? Stan? Phoebe’s mom?
Well, all of those are so tempting…
Let’s not forget the “Wet-nurse Nazi”… that’s enough to give anyone holiday nightmares
Stop scaring me, man.
I have seen the awakening of the force, who needs nightmares?
It cost 8 bucks and a lousy seat.
What, you no liked it? I liked it. It cost me nothing. And I got a good seat. Because I’m special, y’all. (Actually, it’s because my bank owns the theater chain and I have a rewards card for free movies. Which is sort of like being special, only without the whole special part.)
Well, I kind of found out why it sucked. 3 reasons.
SPOLER: someone dies, writing seemed hackneyed and a Mary Sue trope that is hard and difficult to dispute more than midichlorians.
You, sir, are a SCROOGE!
What? I held back as much as I could while giving a decent evaluation of the movie. You got to see it for free. My theatre was so packed, I couldn’t eat the candy I snuck in. On top of that, people still hauled out their phones.
Hey Gecko, have you counted the number of appearances of Papa Shnorf yet, because I am sure that he can calm a Character Bios status and its assorted perks because he is tied with Stan at the very least and is easily closing in on Colin’s Parents…
Oh, he certainly deserves character bio status. I just need to get around to adding him.
Hey. we’re not even sure what gender is the person wearing that costume.
We’ll find out more in the next few comics.
Colin’s expression in panel 1 probably sums up how most people find out they’re gonna be a father to begin with. At least a friend’s face was like that.
As for only a few hours of time (in the story) has passed since June: well, it’s called Comic Time Magic (TM). It doesn’t matter if there’s been six years since the same arc started in real life; in the comic, a week has passed, tops.
Also, Merry (early) Christmas EG/family and readers!
Parenthood, from the moment you find out the happy news onward, is one big prolonged moment of panic. And Merry Winter Solstice rejoicing experience to you too!
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Colin.
Yeah, I know I wouldn’t be able to follow through on that one.
I wonder if Colin will find Miranda before Puck finds out he lost her.
Ahhh! Schnorf Ex Machina! Aeschylus used that one all the time…
I have a bad feeling about this . . . .
He’s a great guy. I promise.
Observant readers will note that I modeled Papa Shnorf’s face off Greek stage masks. Mostly because they’re terrifying.
well, he sure isn’t “two apples tall”
Every time I see Papa Shnorf, I can’t help but think:
“Bearded For Her Pleasure”
Coincidence? I think not! (Õ.õ)
More on this soon.
Don’t tell Anise.
You can tell Colin is in full on panic mode for real. He doesnt even notice the hottie strutting by in the short shorts in panel one.
But you noticed. I’m glad someone did.
sigh. You should know by now we readers notice EVERYTHING.
We just don’t bother to mention some things
The Big Bearded Guy in the Sky doesn’t shave, then…
nope. where would he get a razor powerful enough?
uh, forget I asked that.
He doesn’t use a razor, but he does keep it nice and trim with a pair of “Celestial Scissors”. And you too can own a pair of Celestial Scissors, guaranteed to trim the toughest beard for only $49.99.
Please make all checks out to Cash…
The ‘Celestial and Astrological Salon of Hair’?
Well, he could will himself clean-shaven. He just doesn’t. Because beard.
I figure the Lord God made me in his image…I shave…so shouldn’t he?
You guys seem to think he’s praying to the head God.
Nope, Colin is praying to the God of Beards, only.
They’re neighbors.
The God of Beards can do very little, and yet when he’s standing next to real God, real God can’t help but feel inferior…
Maybe you’ve strayed from the one true beard.
Merry Christmas, guys.
Right back at you, Sir.
So, for 12/25 God Jul Gecko.
Man, even your background women are fine as hell! 😀
Colin was secondary because I was fixated on those short-shorts.. 😉
Wait……. Colin was in this strip? All I saw was a hot chick in the background. Speaking of hot chicks, I know she’s not well liked seeing as she’s a super b!#¢@ but how about some scantily clad Heather action? I know, I know. “She’s not that kind of woman.” Well, MAKE her that kind of woman! And more Tracee. Like more of Tracee’s bare skin. Her beautiful bronze skin……Just had a situation pop up that needs to be “handled.” ; )
I wouldn’t be averse to Heather-based cheesecake. It doesn’t seem too out of character. But really, no one’s ever asked. Until now. And Tracee always surfaces in this comic every now and then. That’s a guarantee.
Funny thing about comics, months can go by for us reading them, yet only a few hours for the characters in the story, this is why they age so slowly. It also means that the characters can have lots of time to do other stuff that we don’t see.
For example Valentines day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas usually seem to line up, depending on the work of fiction. So if we have been reading for two or three months, and they have only experienced a few hours, yet last Christmas and next Christmas both line up in both universes, then that means that latter the characters will experience at least a few months that we don’t see.
In theory if an artist can stretch two hours of story over two months, then they might be able to take 12 months to tell 12 hours of the characters lives. Just check out the television show “24”.
Then logically, if you manage to pull this off, then the characters will have Christmas, then we watch them for one action packed day, then they celebrate Christmas again, then for the New Years Eve comic they can talk about all the things that they did that last year that we didn’t even see.
Alternatively you could somehow show that all of the Christmas episodes for the last 6 years all take place during the same Christmas.
You could in theory stretch this idea out, from January to November you show us what happens to them on January 1st, then during the second year of the comic’s run show us what happened to them on January 2ed of that same year. This could in theory, though not in practice, last for over 300 years, with all of the December comics for the first 2 or 3 years showing the first Christmas the characters spent together, and then the next few December comics show what happens a year latter.
Clearly this would be an unrealistic goal, that I don’t actually foresee anyone actually trying to pull off.
I don’t think I’d be able to pull such things off. They require incredible timing and a lot of forethought. I suck at both. I’m not very structured in my storytelling. And I think a full year of Christmas might confuse people. But it would be fun to try.