MARCH VOTING INCENTIVE!!!
That’s right! There’s a St. Patrick’s Day voting incentive and it was chosen by fans! Patrons on Patreon who pledge $5 or more a month get a personal say in what incentives are coming your way! If YOU want to put your two cents in, then my HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
VOTE FOR THE LUCK OF THE IRISH!
As for this comic…
For those who were in the 'shipping Colin and Phoebe' camp, I am truly sorry. But no.
Just no.
Puck 382
MARCH VOTING INCENTIVE!!!
That’s right! There’s a St. Patrick’s Day voting incentive and it was chosen by fans! Patrons on Patreon who pledge $5 or more a month get a personal say in what incentives are coming your way! If YOU want to put your two cents in, then my HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
VOTE FOR THE LUCK OF THE IRISH!
As for this comic…
For those who were in the 'shipping Colin and Phoebe' camp, I am truly sorry. But no.
Just no.
Hey Gecko, can we draw freckles on Phoebe?
If it makes you feel better.
Can we draw feckless on Daphne?
She already has freckles for all we know. Fur is the best makeup.
That’s not EG’S permission, or persimmon, or perspiration.
Phoebe’s hair doesn’t feel blue enough…
@Buggle
NO BLUE – NO PURPLE !
That would mean Phoebe is beginning to acquire, with age, her Daddy’s PURPLE AURA OF EVIL !
Sounds like a future plot thread…
Phoebe’s hair is 0-0-20 at its furthest extent – as it always is. Though to my eyes, it always looks way more blue or way less blue depending on the monitor or screen I’m using.
Aachk. Again with the monitors…
@Buggle
It’s the “Monitors” is the only excuse that the Mainstream Media and the White House hasn’t blamed for their lame hissy fits this week !
Awwww, poor Colin. He doesn’t realize that he’s Puck’s squeaky man toy. Of course Phoebe is going to over emphasize her adamant position about Puck’s property.
Well, true. But it’s also Colin we’re talking about here, so the ‘no’ is probably genuine.
I’m guessing that’s why it also got the 10th “no” in the last panel.
Yeah, Phoebe looks like she’s trying to convince herself… lol
Or perhaps the lady doth protest too much?
Not likely of course, but hey, I can dream! (Pun intended)
@Hernshound
“Or perhaps the lady doth protest too much?”
I like where you’re going with this….
Here I personally believe that the lady doth protest JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT.
ROBIN (directed at Phoebe): NINE NO’S !!
What I’m hearing is that not only is the FATHER OF MY CHILD unattractive, but therefore my VERY CHILD is unappealing, and ALSO that I have bad taste in MEN !
DIE, you Freckle-Faced FRIEND !!”
PHOEBE (recoiling into the fetal defensive posture): NO, Robin, NO !!
I didn’t mean it THAT way.
I actually DO find Col very sexy; it’s all I can do to keep from jumping his bones every time I see him !”
ROBIN (taken aback) : “Well, that’s very different.
(appeased – at first – then….)
DIE, you Freckle-Faced FRIEND !!”
Hm, we have landed in Bizarro-Puck-World, have we? Where’s the red kryptonite?
@Susan
Oh, I believe my scenario is both plausible and probable.
I actually worry I made a spoiler.
Except that in the Real world of Metropolis an ultra-hot chick like Phleebles would never even look at a nerd like Colin. Just sayin’ :p
Colin: “Am I not allowed a comfort obje…”
“NO!”
Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!
That’s nine “Nein”s.
Nein is German for No and Nyet is Russian for No.
Thank you, Greg, we all needed to know that.
I’m still lamenting the fact that it was a dream. I liked the whole Colin/Phoebe combo. Apparently “reality” Phoebe does not share my opinion in the least.
(Personally I think it would be cool if in next weeks cartoon, in the last panel, we would see Phoebe looking at Colin walking away and letting out a little sigh of longing, but I know it ain’t gonna happen. C’est la vie!)
… or there’s a chain of events where the fallout from Robin having completely imagined an affair between Colin and Phoebe ends up revealing quite by chance the affair they were actually having.
Hilarity ensues.
@Shan
I like that arc as well.
I like the freckles getting scared off of one person, then contaminating another.
@Hernshound
I’d rather see Phoebe innocently wearing her Phoe-Buck PLAID Dream Outfit, or if we could view it, just in passing, hanging in her closet.
Well, the outfit might exist. That has not yet been disproved. And Phoebe’s wardrobe seems to be infinite in depth, so in an infinite wardrobe, such an outfit must, by mathematical law, be present.
It’s why she’s such a damn good seamstress.
In fact, it actually makes the most sense that things seen in the alternate dream world were drawn from things already seen in this world’s real life and reused subconsciously.
What if I was wrong about this not being an april fool’s joke? What if Gecko is double layering this by having everyone in the house pretend it never happened to spare Puck?
I have NEVER run an April Fool’s comic. I’ve run April Fool’s Day voting incentives, though. Those are fun.
I hereby nominate the following for April Fool’s Day voting incentives.
1) Colin and Phoebe’s five year old love child
2) Daphne and Tyler’s love child being baby sat by a 12 year old Miranda.
3) Phoebe in her dad’s position at McNiven all Bond villain style while forcing that gimp cat into a baby sailor suit while telling the animated corpse of her father’s lackey to fetch refreshments after showing in the newly rewed Satan and Elizabeth Taylor.
@pat
I approve !
All three are April Fool GOLD !!
@pat
Wouldn’t you like to see Colin and Phoebe’s “Love Child” as a Teenager, being corrupted by Daphne into forming a two-woman Crime Team ?
(At least Grandpa would finally have an offspring he could be proud of)
You have a dangerous mind.
@EG
You mean pat, right ?
I was only piggy-backing on his genius.
I think, in the Puck comment’s section, you will find no shortage of dangerous minds.
Thank you, that’s so sweet of you Gecko. Now, can you save me five percent on Poutine in fifty minutes?
I doubt that Gecko is going to respond, eh?
Okay. Boiled down version. Fifth time.
Panel 1) McNiven’s office of President is shown. Some photos on the wall are shown. They are new additions and achievements by McNiven staff since Satan retired.
Panel 2) Satan’s formerlackey, of late, is shown addressing the sexy sillouette behind the desk. The missionary of misery is addressing the sultry shadow that the water fountains have been replaced with magma in the student dorms. The phone on the President’s desk buzzes, announcing, “Your 2:00 is here.”
Panel 3) Phoebe leans out of the shadows to rise from her father’s former chair. Pressing the button on the phone, she tells her receptionist, “To show them in.” As she does this, a gimped up cat in a sailor suit is placed on her desk blotter.
Panel 4) Phoebe hugs her father, Satan, in front of a photo that shows the current McNiven Chancellor standing proudly behind to degree recipients. One is Puck, who is receiving her Masters of Humanities. The other person is Miranda, who is receiving her Bachelors of Science in Quantum Computing and Design. They are both wearing gowns with cords that show the two are graduating Summa Cun Laude Collin is twisting around to take a selfie from in front of the raised podium to get all four of them in the photo.
Panel 5) Phoebe hugs her mother, Elizabeth Taylor next to a picture of Phoebe and Daphne who is receiving the Nobel Prize for Ethics. Tyler attempts to take a selfie with them while holding an infant.
Outstanding !
The only part I might disagree with, is we need a scene where Phoebe ascends to the position of President of McNiven, while her dad, Satan, hugs her, with tears in his eyes.
Slowly, with sly smile, Phoebe slips a crooked dagger from her robes, and thrusts it straight into his back.
Satan’s eyes open wide, then with an enormous grin, whispers, dying, “I knew you had it in you !”
You can’t have it both ways, Salem. Besides, Phoebe isn’t that evil.
@pat
Phoebe is young.
She may do Daddy proud given enough time.
Don’t forget Lucifer was once a BBF of God Himself.
Why do you hope for Phoebe to be evil? Isn’t the whole point that she’s sweet?
@Buggle
“Why do you hope for Phoebe to be evil? Isn’t the whole point that she’s sweet?”
Jeepers, Buggle.
You know I’m looking for a job as a Familiar – still.
My last would-be employer revealed to me she didn’t think I was sufficiently evil.
So I’ve got to build up some cred now.
Not only was I insufficiently evil, I failed to discover the identity of THIS GUY
“This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read.” Winston Churchill
You *could* have said TL;DR, but you went with a Churchill quote, and nobody responded with a DUHHHHHH-WHAT?
I believe this says something about the Puck audience.
@Buggle
“I believe this says something about the Puck audience.”
We are an erudite community.
(My human pet, Baldie, told me to say that. I’m not sure I did not just swear. He likes messing with me.)
If there’s one thing public school anti-drug education taught me, it’s that nine no’s means no.
Brooks Shields would then be the exception then, no?
Nine “no” :s, the (slightly) more polite way to say “no, ew”?
Yes. I would agree with that.
How about…
“Hmm, like gag me with a spoon, you know.”
God! That is like, so 90s.
80s for crying out loud. Valley Girl 80s!
The youngsters don’t know the difference. I encounter this with my students all the time. If they hear a song by Depeche Mode, they’ll say something like, “What’s with the 60’s music?” and a part of me writhes and dies inside.
It’s all ancient history to them. Just like the dinosaurs and the gladiators and the dinosaur-fighting gladiators, which were totally a thing, right?
Well, we know something that they’re going to learn the hard way (and I guess we did to back when it was our turn).
Time comes for all of us and it is not merciful.
*we did too
I struggle shipping Colin/Phoebe personally. The dream arc didn’t make it any easier.
So, it’s really no loss on my end.
Now I’m curious what the next arc (this?) will be about.
Whatever it may be about, it definitely won’t be about shipping Phoebe and Colin.
Ouch! Dang…
Phoebe you just went full bitch – never go full bitch 😛
That’s not full bitch. “Are you freaking kidding? With *Colin?* Ickickick! Never in a million trillion years!” is Half full bitch. Laughing uproariously until you are out of breath, gasping until you get it back, looking at Colin and sfalling on the floor laughing is *full* bitch. I speak from experience.
Yeah, Phoebe’s practically being nice here.
I agree with Susan. Emphatic ‘no’s are about the nicest way to put it. No modifiers or superlatives. Just no. Over and over and over. It’s the kindest, clearest way.
There is so much more “no” that Phoebe could’ve said … she didn’t go all Megan Trainor https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I
Woah… guys… just a joke…
I am liking how Puck has her baby safe in her lap…
You are 1/3 of the way off the hook, Gecko.
FOUR WEEKS.
YAY! I MIGHT LIVE YET!
Now be a good lizard, and have her talk about her experience with Hot Dog Guy.
@Buggle
“Now be a good lizard, and have her talk about her experience with Hot Dog Guy.”
HAH ! HE DID IT !!!
Buggle is a super-brain.
(This is a good time for your to reiterate your demand for the cast appearing in LAND BIKINIs)
@Buggle
Umm, Buggle.
Isn’t the next requirement that, ummm, EG create a new Voting Incentive with Trace and Phoebe in Bikinis ?
That’s it, isn’t it ?
(yes yes yes yes)
NO. Hold him for ransom yourself if you want that.
Would a recap of THIS satisfy you ?
(PS: Daphne would not have to be watching this time.)
It would explain why she has such high Vegemite bills.
I don’t give a rat’s fig. I WANT CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!
@Buggle
Buggle:“I want character development”
Me: “I want bikini-babes”
This, THIS is why men and women will never coexist – peacefully.
I want character development – the bikini-babes are just a bonus. Plus, I prefer to imagine Daphne when she’s older, rather than Tracee. I can appreciate Phoebe, tho…
Maybe I’ll help you ransom Gecko?
To quote SotiCoto the Wise,
“… death to the Daphne. Disgusting, superfluous flabby-lipped creature.”
@CH
For some time EG has been threatening us loyal fans with a most horrible punishment if we don’t behave.
A Daphne / Tyler PROM ARC
Hair down – colored and styled – check.
Long, sleek, sparkling Gown – check.
Delicate elbow-length Gloves – check.
Four-Inch Italian Pumps – check.
The contrast to the Daphne we have known
and lovedwould be so……(I’m just at a loss for words)
It will happen. Oh yes. It will.
@Buggle
“NO. Hold him for ransom yourself if you want that.”
OK GECKO.
I WANT TRACEE.
AND I WANT PHOEBE.
AND I WANT THEM In bikinis, and sand, and sun, or ….
umm, yeah, i’m be disappointed. so there.
(oh crap, i’m just no good at threats at all)
The key to threats is to find a dangerous water creature, and then add the word ‘land’ in front of its name. Then say you’ll send them after the person you’re threatening! It’s easy!
But what does Daphne think of this turn of events?
There wasn’t enough room for Daphne’s thoughts. Or Miranda’s. They just got to be there.
I notice though that the final “No” is directed at Puck and her two daughters, who all look a little worried.
Well, directing it at Colin just seemed mean.
Daffy: “There goes blackmailing Phoebe. Phooey!”
Miranda: “I don’t like it when they talk all serious.”
Miranda: “I wish Auntie Phoebe were my Mommy”
Miranda: “I want a half-sister to play with”
I note you couldn’t improve on my interpretation of Daffy’s thoughts. :p
@Susan
I can’t improve on perfection !
And anyhow, Miranda is much closer to my intellectual capacities.
Prolly because I was kind of comparing her expression to my dog’s. She doesn’t like it when my bf and I talk serious, and she HATES it when we yell at each other. Me not having kids and all. But I may know more cause my 13-year old cousin is staying with us, because of her unsatisfactory mother.
I imagine her thoughts are running along the lines of, “Why is Puck awake – too early – no coffee – wanna go to bed – stupid foster mom”
I love your work ElectricGecko. To anyone who might be able to help me… http://gofundme.com/my-car-is-toast
Hmmm. ^_^ Puck’s nightmare may have done her development good in the long run.
….
Daphne underwent a bit of character growth due to being confronted with how crappily she treated her best friend Taylor.
….
I think Colin’s confrontation with adult fear due to losing Miranda and seeing Daphne in a jail cell may have changed him a bit.
….
Phoebe still needs the metaphorical boot up her backsides to become slightly better people, doesn’t she?
No, she’s already good people. Frankly, all she’s missing is a dark side…
Phoebe could be a better person? Well, she could maybe grow up a little. Maybe. We’ll see.
@EG: NOOOOOOOOOO!
My theory is that Pheobe is a saint because she is rebelling against her father! If she ever grows up and stops rebelling?
My mind is thrown into complete entropy imagining this frightening event happen… IT MUST NEVER HAPPEN!!!!! NEVER!!!!
Impossible. Phleebles doesn’t have n evil bone in her body. She is what I would like to be like when I grow up. I like the notion she is rebelling against her father, who is evil enough to tolerate having Tracee in the hose with him.
house, stupid spell check
LOL, Susan, “Hose” works too!
*makes a “naughty thoughts” face*
@Susan
No, Tracee would say you had it right in the first place.
@Susan
You know the old saying: “Long Tail = Big Responsibility”
She’s what you want to be like when you grow up? But Phoebe isn’t quite grown up yet! None of the cast are, except for Colin, who has (kinda) confidence, and understands responsibility, and Daphne, who grew up too fast due to being in the care of a reckless college student in her formative years.
Duh, that’s the point. Who wants to grow up/ “Getting older is inevitable but you can be immature forever.” – Denny McLain
But how can you be like Phoebe when you grow up if she isn’t grown up?
Ooh. How paradoxical.
Miranda seems about to hit the Terrible Twos. That oughta be a ride…
LOL, although I fell for it, I just never could wrap my brain around why a chick like Phoebe may find someone like Colin desirable in that way.
Oh well…you got me regardless.
I dunno. There are documented cases where REALLY beautiful women decided they’re done with dating guys that treat women like dirt, and start looking into ‘nice guys”, of which club Colin is a actually a member.
It’s rare, but it happens!
It is an impossibility. And while it’s giving guys like Colin hope, I feel it stretches the bounds of reality.
Women like Phoebles either date rock stars or professional athletes. Ask Giselle Bundchen
@Susan
Oh, I disagree.
Despite the fact Phoebe works at Howlers, she seems to have some very old-fashioned proclivities – like sewing.
And working at Howlers has likely entirely jaded her to shallow men. I’ll bet an English Teacher like Colin is just her style.
Despite the fact he was scrawny, and had a very weird bowler haircut in college, I think he’s well above average in the looks department these days.
A catch. And Robin knows it.
I’m … not sure about the ‘catch’ part. Or the ‘Robin knows it’ part.
Colin is … not a bad guy, I guess? You could do way worse?
@EG
I’m … not sure about the ‘catch’ part. Or the ‘Robin knows it’ part.
Colin is … not a bad guy, I guess? You could do way worse?
(Jeez, Gecko. I pretty much spoon-feed you an opportunity to defuse Buggle’s wrath, and you toss it right out the window. Sigh.)
@Salem: “Despite the fact Phoebe works at Howlers, she seems to have some very old-fashioned proclivities – like sewing.”
I guess if you work all day in a depraved venue where you wear practically nothing would make you appreciate working with ample amounts of cloth. My former bf took me to Hooters a couple of times and I could not believe the comments that men at our adjoining tables were making to those poor, exploited waitresses.
@Susan
I think we can agree that Colin is not the kind of guy who would make crude remarks.
He’s only there for the WINGS.
Which is why I think Colin would be Phoebe’s type.
Indeed, Gecko, you had a great opportunity there, and you failed to see it for what it was – you threw the baby out with the bathwater.
And now, you are still living with the threat of LAND PIRANHAS.
@Buggle
And now, you are still living with the threat of LAND PIRANHAS.
I think I can up the ante here:
LANDTOILET PIRANHAS.Huh, Huh ?
(I learned this from Buggle. I’m only a would-be familiar)
Please Buggle, do not suggest Litter Box Piranhas.
I treasure what tiny stub of a tail I, even now, retain.
I only have three words to say to threaten your litterbox, Salem…
“Fire-Ant Colony”
Now be a good cat…
@DLKmusic
Are those LAND Fire Ants ?
(shudder)
I believe the TOILET Piranhas would require training regular piranhas, and that is entirely different. Sadly, I do not have the expertise to train regular piranhas, only LAND Piranhas. *SIGH*
It was a great idea, though. I might try for training rats to swim up through the pipes…
@Buggle
Oooh…
LAND RATS – that are chock full of DISEASE.
(am I being redundant ?)
Methinks either child abandonment is more believable then actually hooking up with her. or she is repressing hidden feelings.
Either that or “Surrogate Mommy” is far less life threatening than “Golin’s GF”.
Child abandonment:
Daffy-no prob
Colin-been there, done that
Phoebles-unthinkable!
Puck-Weeeellll….
Love the matching mother daughter looks!
Watch out! Land shark! http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/landshark/2832305?snl=1
Now THERE’S an idea!
CLASSIC !
Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there was a TV Show, and, it was actually funny.
It was real long ago, like before I was born. If it wasn’t for my bf, I doubt if I would know what funny is (Hmm, that didn’t come out right)
Thanks to the miracles of technology, we can still laugh at the antics of those who passed, so long ago.
John Belushi: Funny
Marx Brothers: Funny
Three Stooges: Funny
Charlie Chaplin: (I guess you had to be there)
The Three Stooges are funny?
@Susan
Women never get Moe, Larry, Curly.
(no one gets Shemp – ever)
The Three Stooges are funny when you are in the right mindset. That mindset usually requires a ‘Y’ chromosome and a certain level of emotional immaturity. Thankfully, I possess both, so to me they are funny.
I was thinking the same thing Susan, never liked them. Although…
Abbot & Costello
Martin & Lewis
Rowen & Martin
Burn & Allen
Who’s on First? The world may never know
@DLKmusic
All very funny.
(I’m still wondering about Chaplin, tho. I even watched a Buster Keaton or two years ago. He was a talent.)
(ok, ok. Chaplin was … fine.)
(Baldie threatened me with no more STARKIST if I continued to diss Charlie. Only Chicken of the Sea (GAG))
I’m pretty sure “No” exists in a quadratic state, reaching a peak negativity before rounding back towards positivity. At a certain point saying “No” too many times is seen as a yes and someone quotes Shakespeare.
Hmmm. Good point.
I may have counted the no’s.