Puck 841

Chapter: Prince of Dappled ShadeCharacters: Colin Miranda Tyler (aka Taylor)Tags: apple donut fritter raccoon
RING IN THE NEW YEAR WITH QUICK SKETCHES! It's a little sketchy up in here, but it's still worth your vote! VOTE FOR HOLIDAY HAPPINESS!!! In other news... First, this comic is brought to you again by the good people who support me on Patreon, with a special shout-out to The Lurker and Jeremy, who are both Mayor of Pucksburg. Again. They are the two strong pillars helping to hold this comic up. Maybe you're generous enough to join them! CHECK OUT THE PATREON!!! As for this comic... Apple fritters are a divisive donut. They are sometimes the unwanted, misshapen weirdo of the box. Some people don't like apples in their donuts. But for the right crowd - the smart crowd - the apple fritter is the king of donuts. Once upon a time, some of the local Tim Hortons locations sold a legendary, rare donut called ... the Banana Royale. It was an apple fritter, filled with banana cream, and then glazed and rolled in toasted coconut. It was a Frankensteinian creation that likely should never have been brought into this world, but it was also one of the best things this city ever produced. I think corporate eventually got wind and put an end to such wanton donut experimentation. But some of us still remember. I remember.

56 Comments

  • Justin

    As I matured my favourite donut changed from crullers to sour cream glazed and apple fritters. Still enjoy a jelly or sprinkles every once in a while though.

    Also this is a fun comic.

    • ElectricGecko

      Sour cream glazed is the king of donuts. But apple fritter is the duke.

    • Frank H.

      Wait, sour cream glazed doughnuts is an option?

      • ElectricGecko

        In Canada, at Tim Hortons, yes.

        • Frank H.

          If you guys weren’t metric, you’d be pretty close to perfect.

          • ElectricGecko

            We measure people’s height in feet still. Is that good enough? And if you’re talking to old people, they still use Fahrenheit when talking about the weather.

          • Frank H.

            “We measure people’s height in feet still. Is that good enough?”

            I be old, dude. And I measure my milk in gallons, my drinks in ounces and my weight in pounds.

          • ElectricGecko

            We measure our milk in litres, our drinks … sometimes in ounces (it depends) and our weight in pounds. No Canadian knows his weight in kilograms. That’s a foofy European thing.

          • Frank H.

            “We measure our . . .”

            To be fair, you guys have different gallons you could choose.

            I did make a unit conversion app ’cause of all that.

        • The Lurker

          The glazed danish cronuts at I Love Donuts in OKC would like a word I suspect….

          • ElectricGecko

            I am, of course, excluding fancy local donut places that make crazy, wonderful donut-related concoctions. We have a few of those places, and they are wonderful, but that feels like cheating. I’m talking the mass-produced chain store donuts.

    • Dave

      I prefer cake doughnuts over the regular doughnuts. Especially chocolate ones, and/or with quality chocolate icing.

      • ElectricGecko

        The donut secret (I have heard) is that cake donuts are WAY easier to make than yeast donuts. Yeast donuts require a complex and very large kitchen to facilitate the lengthy rising time required. Cake donuts are quick and simple. Which is why a lot of smaller, independent donut shops just do cake donuts.

  • Marcus Martin

    Talk about an all-out attack in these comic panels.

  • Pat

    Ok. Now I want to try a Banana Royale. That sounds damn good.

  • Lokitsu

    I feel like the raccoons should get the most treats at the end of this caper. They seem to be doing all the heavy lifting.
    Re: the incentive. Pencils, why do you always get between me and true happiness?

    • ElectricGecko

      The raccoons can get a dumpster full of day-old subs. That’s a king’s ransom to raccoons.

      And sorry about your pencil problem.

  • phaser

    Ah, the apple fritter… When done well, they are fantastic. Crunchy and lightly glazed exterior around a fluffy inside with firm bits of apple. Fantastic to eat. When done poorly, which is most of the time, they are gloppy, over-glazed junk. I’d rather eat a 5-day old Krispy Kreme than what most places pass off as an apple fritter.

    • McManx

      I’d say yes to an aged Krispy Kreme. I think they even had an apple pie filling Krispy Kreme at one time. Would that be an ATTOH KWITTY?

    • ElectricGecko

      You expect too much from a humble fritter, good sir. Even old fritters are glorious.

    • Dave

      I’m not sure what it is exactly, if it’s that the fritters in the oil too long or not long enough, if the oil is too hot or too cold, or if the apple is too wet when it goes in the batter but I find in a lot of fritters the dough around the apple pieces is gooey and seemingly undercooked. Which I hate. I think it’s the moisture from the apple preventing the dough from properly crisping. I wish I knew how the people that avoid that do it.

  • bergerjacques

    Of course, the only woman involved in the entire Hell’s coup reacts to the surprise animal carnage with but a single raised eyebrow. Daphne may find her a bit more formidable.
    In the meantime, I vote ATTOH FITTA as the rebellion’s war cry.

  • Swimsquad

    So where’s the Dan Fielding look alike

  • PatN

    A local doughnut shop has cleverly renamed the Apple Fritter as “Chop Suey”. They also include raisins as an added treat. They are the real deal.

  • demarion

    Ironically, the raccoons and the crows were told the cabal doesn’t want them to have those apple fritters. Oh well, Colin and Tyler will go on a doughnut run. All the sweeter when paid for with the cabal’s debit cards!

  • Frank H.

    *Some*one’s being calm.

    Yay! Fritters for all! Good bab-getaway vehicle watching, Colin! You may earn your beard back in no-time, baby!

    Your nation, sir, is a great innovator in unhealthy food. You should be proud.

  • judygrrl

    To be fair…this *is* about Colin’s speed.

  • Sleel

    Those ain’t fritters. Those are the abominations tim’s replaced them with when they went to centralized processing and sending shit out literally half-baked and frozen, to be finished at the shop. Never mind they nerfed the amount of apples in the damn things at the same time, and haven’t done am apple harvest promotion since. Where they doubled the amount of apples in the fritter.

    All *these* are are dutchies pretending to be fritters. Fritters are irregular lumps of dough. Which is where you get the crispy peaks from. This. is just a dutchie with a pittance of apples in it.

    No. I haven’t wasted my time with tim’s since. Much less since they were sold to foreigners. Making it NOT-Canadian. And all the cheap-ass crap they’ve pulled since; on their race to the bottom of Crap Quality Molehill.

  • SalemCat

    I actually chuckled when I witnessed these dorks undergoing a racoon revolution.

    Pretty funny, fur real 🙂

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *