MAY VOTING INCENTIVE!!! MAY QUEEN MADNESS!!!
It's May: a month that for some reason has its own monarchy! Get into the season by voting for Puck on TWC! And remember, this idea came from THE PATRONS! Patrons on Patreon who pledge $5 or more a month get a personal say in what incentives are coming your way! If YOU want to put your two cents in, then my HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
VOTE FOR MAY FUN TIMES!!!
As for this comic…
My doctor once told me that the average time between when a man first detects some sort of medical concern to when he actually consults his doctor about the problem is four years. Not sure if that's correct or not, but it feels right. I'll just say this: thank the merciful deity for women pushing us into acting like responsible adults.
Puck 390
MAY VOTING INCENTIVE!!! MAY QUEEN MADNESS!!!
It's May: a month that for some reason has its own monarchy! Get into the season by voting for Puck on TWC! And remember, this idea came from THE PATRONS! Patrons on Patreon who pledge $5 or more a month get a personal say in what incentives are coming your way! If YOU want to put your two cents in, then my HEAD ON OVER TO PATREON and join the select club!
VOTE FOR MAY FUN TIMES!!!
As for this comic…
My doctor once told me that the average time between when a man first detects some sort of medical concern to when he actually consults his doctor about the problem is four years. Not sure if that's correct or not, but it feels right. I'll just say this: thank the merciful deity for women pushing us into acting like responsible adults.
Doomed.
Colin’s Doomed.
Look who knows so much, enh? Turns out your friend here is only mostly doomed.
@EG
I have a “friend ?”
Do I hear the sound of a Robin left hook warming up? (I *hate* to have eyes rolled at me)
@Susan: Last time Colin visited the doctor, he had a celery bunch stuck up his bum. I’m half anticipating a repeat of that incident, because while removing the celery, the doctor won’t be able to miss “Master” and “Blaster”.
And… here it is:
CELERY
(rolls eyes at Susan)
@Salem
I’ll be your friend if you get me a beer.
@CH
I asked my human pet Baldie if he could spare a beer, so I could have my first friend.
He finally stopped laughing, but only because he can’t chug a brew and laugh at the same time.
Anyhow, EG says I DO have a friend. So there.
Who wants a friend? 😛
“….. you killed my father. Prepare to die.”
I’m glad SOMEONE got the ref.
You are useing Bonetti’s Defense against me, ah?!
How about a Puck vote or guest comic in Kryptonese.
Looks like Colin’s hand is going to forced quite soon when he needs a doctor to look at that massive head trauma of his.
@Shan
It looks like Colin’s HAND is going to be very busy for the foreseeable future.
(He’s a slow learner !)
*facepalm*
*facepalm* seconded.
No, he’s an expert at riding the line. He knows exactly how much guff he can give before the guff hits back.
@EG
We’ll take your word for it.
Colin’s been guffed many, many times.
He hides under the Kitchen Sink so often that family members knock on the little door there before they open it (just to be polite).
But this is the first time I’ve ever noticed him GIVING any !
Salem, fear and denial make people surprisingly feisty.
People like Colin allow more time for the paranoid germophobes to see doctors.
Yep. Gotta facilitate those weirdos somehow!
Do you even know how _____ works?
Story of Colin’s life really, isn’t it?
Pretty much, man.
Who doesn’t love a good nag-a-day comic strip?
Wow. You did it. Hats off.
Goodness! One of the few times we actually feel sorry for Puck. She really is developing as a character.
And Colin is reacting like every man ever. Hopefully this storyline will encourage a few guys to man up and take care of business in time to save a life.
Sorry no joke. Although if Colin isn’t careful he’s going to be the object of a punchline.
I’m glad the dynamic rings true. Nothing brings out the belligerent jerk in men like the specter of their own mortality, I find.
not to mention the threat to ‘his boys’! nothing causes guys to panic quite like that!!! imminent death is but a pale shadow 😉
True. Very, very true.
I said pretty much the same thing last week; how this storyline reminded me that I hadn’t checked my boys in way too long.
Colin’s kinda beastin’ in this new one as only Colin can…but Puck’s restraint is an even bigger story. Nice.
So I recognized the logo on Colin’s shirt….
My mother dated the lead guy from Helix when she was younger. DEAD SERIOUS. (She said they were a decent cover band, but she wasn’t too crazy about their original stuff, lol.)
Whoa! Someone got the shirt reference! I didn’t think ANYONE would ever catch that. And she dated the lead guy from Helix? WOW. That means your mom is, like, cool! Although I have to say that he wasn’t the handsomest gargoyle on the cathedral, as it were. It’s a good thing he was lead in a rock band, because otherwise he would have had ZERO appeal.
I have to admit that I was so caught up in the dialogue that I missed seeing the shirt. There must be too much blood in my coffee system…
I put stupid shirts into comics with the full knowledge that most people won’t ever notice them. That’s part of the fun.
That was probably the first thing I noticed when I open this weeks Puck. I think I had pretty much the identical shirt around 40 years ago when Helix were one of the happening bands around here. I bought it when they were playing in some long gone club on Upper James in Hamilton. Size medium. I’m a lot older and a lot fatter these days
I really don’t know where Colin got the shirt. I mean, he couldn’t have been more than a wee lad at the time, and that shirt looks to be in pretty good condition. It’s almost like it’s an implausible anachronism…
As someone who enjoys a variety of novelty shirts (don’t ask how much money I’ve thrown at Teepublic and Teefury over the years…) I like to catch notice of the shirt logos you do on occasion. I’m like Chris Evans in the original Avengers – “HEY, I GOT THAT REFERENCE!” It’s especially satisfying when it’s an older/obscure one like this 😛 (especially when you know it’s gonna go over all the younger people’s heads)
(ALSO GOT THAT REFERENCE IN ONE OF THE FIRST COMMENT REPLIES. I mean sheesh, The Princess Bride is TIMELESS. Even the young ones don’t have an excuse to not get that.)
Might as well add to it: COLIN – WHY DO YOU USE THAT WORD. I DON’T THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.
Back on to your comment regarding my mom though – heh, yeah, I don’t know how exciting the guy was; pretty sure my mom referred to him as a “good Catholic boy”, so he wasn’t THAT kind of musician. But yes, as she told me, if you’re going to go for a guy in a band, go for the lead. (Go big or go home, lol.)
(I rather solved the problem by not dating musicians at all, but good to know?)
Musicians are generally best avoided as dating material. But yes, I’d concur with your mom. Nothing’s more embarrassing than going out with the bassist of a hair metal band. I mean, come on! The bassist?
Colin is scared, and Puck being genuinely worried for him is only making it worse for him. Making Puck angry is his (deeply flawed) way to make the situation a little more like what he is used to.
Very astute. Very.
^_^
Splendid voting incentive. ^_^
Puck looks like she’s getting back to her Faerie roots – or maybe her Shakespearean roots. 😉
In either case, it is nice to see her enjoying herself so much.
I liked this one too.
As someone who loves horrible puns, I find that Colin’s puns are quite… Lackluster.
Which is why I loved them.
I am somewhat worried about Colin’s results but at the same time, given how he lives with Puck:co, he should be fine. Eventually.
As for the 4 year wait: a friend had TC and his wife, I and a few others all nagged him for about four weeks to go get it checked before he caved in. So the 4 year wait doesn’t sound impossible.
Luckily, they did manage to get rid of his cancer before it became too bad.
Here’s the thing: TC is (generally speaking) one of the most curable types of the disease you can get. Which is good for dudes who want to stick their heads in the sand, I guess. Though waiting four years can mean that your course of treatment will be much, much worse when you get around to it.
“Dudes that want to stick their heads in the sand.” I could tell you stories that would make your hair stand on end. And it is not just dudes, either…
True, the power of denial can be strong with all people.
The Denial is strong with this one.
Denial is not just a big river in Egypt. 😛
@Susan
Or an adult film star.
Just wait until he finds out he actually has a serious condition that he was not aware of. Puck may actually save his Manhood literally.
Hey, despite her crusty exterior, she’s rather attached him. And his manhood.
@EG
You call Robin’ Exterior crusty again and you’ll be sharing the Kitchen Sink “Hidey Hole” with Colin !
Miranda calls this DADDY’S OFFICE.
Yeah, a four year wait sounds about right. When I had cellulitis I had to be forced to the emergency ward. How did we know I needed to go? My entire left lower leg was bright red and swollen. It looked like a hot air balloon and was hot to the touch.
The pain was tremendous, so tremendous that the female doctor told me that a woman cannot hold the pain of childbirth over my head ever again. Even a touch felt like the muscle and skin burst and was flowing like lava. It could have killed me. I worked on it for a week before it was noticed by outside parties and they drug me to the emergency ward.
@NM
Ewwww…..!
Usually Susan is the one who feeds my Night Terrors.
But she’s pretty busy this morning, and I’m certain appreciates YOU filling in for her.
(and another sleepless night for me)
Sounds like a REAL MAN to me! I admit that I’m really less like this. I’m a fearful toad, so if it’s something minor, I don’t usually go, but if I fear it’s something bigger, I will go. Pronto.
Women who have undergone childbirth aren’t the only ones. The human brain retains no memory of actual pain, just the memory of their emotional reaction to it. (Childbirth in women who have not gone through La Maze is Grade 8 on the pain scale. Kidney stones (renal colic) is Grade 10, the highest)
Had kidnye stones several times, my wife had them once.
I dealt with it better than she did.
What’d ya mean, “tries to communicate like an adult?” They are.
Well, it’s a new experience.
I had no idea most men waited that long to get checked. My dad has always said “If you think something’s wrong, get it checked. If there’s nothing wrong, you’ve only lost a couple of hours and 50 dollars (the price of a doctor’s visit without health insurance where I live), but you gain the knowledge that whatever’s going on will pass. But if there is something wrong, you’re getting it taken care of before it got out of hand.”
Couple that with the military telling me that, if something’s wrong that might affect my performance on or off the battlefield that I didn’t get checked out, I’d be in deep trouble after I recovered. So, yeah, I go to my doctor every six months now for a baseline, and whenever something’s wrong.
Smart man. SMART MAN.
Isn’t Colin kind of beating a dead horse?
They’re the best kind of horse to beat, I hear.
Oh, I think he’ll discover that “horse” is very much alive.
Here we go gathering nuts in May,
Nuts in May, nuts in May,
Here we go gathering nuts in May,
On a cold and frosty morning.
Whose will you have for nuts in May,
Nuts in May, nuts in May,
Whose will you have for nuts in May,
On a cold and frosty morning.
We’ll have Colin for nuts in May,
Nuts in May, nuts in May,
We’ll have Colin for nuts in May,
On a cold and frosty morning.
Who will you send to fetch his away,
Fetch Colin’s away, fetch his away,
Who will you send to fetch his away,
On a cold and frosty morning.
We’ll send Robin to fetch his away,
Fetch his away, fetch his away,
We’ll send Robin to fetch his away,
On a cold and frosty morning.
😛
Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap !!
*Liked
The Satiralyrical Guild tentatively approves, while your application for entry is being processed.
Four years sounds about right. I had a cough that grew into vomiting that lasted five years before I saw a doctor. It was pneumonia filling my lung with blood. I’d effectively been drowning for years.
Don’t do that; get checked out if and when you can once you find something wrong. It’s better than drowning.
WizeManBOB, you are truly a wise man.
@WMB
Well, I agree you are wise NOW.
(you probably did not feel wise when you finally admitted you suffered needlessly for so long)
Come on, Colin, go to the DOCTOR.
What’s the wurst that could happen ?
(oh, that… ouch & bye bye)
Rubbing alcohol is a terrible disinfectant. We only use it at the office or the hospital for placebo effect. You want disinfectant, use povidone or pHisohex.
Of course, you could kill INSECTS by drowning them in alcohol. Or water, pretty much. Or Scotch. But you could say that about anything without gills. Bacteria and viruses just laugh heartily.
Rubbing alcohol is WAY better used to take paint off Transformers. That’s all I use it for.
@Susan
Ok. My Bad.
Doctor Cat now recommends a TURPENTINE DIP.
I still think it’s just a Centipede-Condo.
And what kills bugs ?
RUBBING ALCOHOL.
So Colin, grab a big jug and proceed to douse those boys !
It couldn’t hurt to try, right ?
Having accidentally spilled rubbing alcohol in that area, I can assure you, SalemCat, it CAN hurt to try!
@DLK
Shhhh….
Let’s not blow the comedic potential.
Tee Hee Heh Heh
@DLK
Lest I be accused of a truly sadistic bent (“bent” – snicker), we all know that this is a NON-SMOKING household.
Because ALCOHOL is somewhat flammable.
(balls afire – arugula !)
Proly quicker and easier than shaving.
Eh.
Off the subject, I suppose.
But clinging to TWC was some sponsored ad about “what no woman over 30 should wear”.
BS – my friends.
There are all too many fashions that some women should NEVER wear – EVER !
Others like my Human Pet Janet still looks pretty nice in – even though she’d a tad over “the” limit.
The internet is not always right !
Speaking of which, Robin and Phoebe both must be flirting with the BIG 30, and ain’t no Internet going to dictate fashion to them !
Not if it wants to live.
Actually, Puck passed the Big 3-0, uh-oh! back in the reign of Ethelred the Unready
Actually, I could come up with a list of fashions that women over size 8 should never wear a lot easier: minis, crop-tops, spandex anything, see-through tops, off-the-shoulder gowns….the list goes on. Bottom line: don’t wear ANYTHING that shows dimples (below your chin), sags, bags, bumps, or wrinkles. Those are things that clothes were invented to cover
@Susan
I’d like to add wearing Pajamas in Public – and this goes for both Men and Women.
Wearing pajamas in public is verboten for anyone that does not get an invitation to the Academy Awards every year. And even then, it is iffy
waaaait a miiiiinute….. Clothes were invented to protect us from the elements, not hide our defects….
When we were cavemen/cavewomen, the answer to someone saying something about our defects was an oak club!!!!!
@DLKmusic
Yep.
Humans do TWO THINGS no other living creature does:
#1 Cook Food.
#2 Wear Clothes. (no, dressing up your cat (shudder) to humiliate it does not count !)
I would never dress up a cat to humiliate it, SalemCat, that’s just mean!
I use laser pointers….
@DLK
Wat the hell is that spot ?
I’m going to pounce on that sucka…
It moved ?
No prob … I’m fast !
Catch – Fail -Catch – Fail -Catch – Fail -Catch – Fail -Catch – Fail –
Oh crap.
Nap Time.
You came *this* close to me destroying you, Susan. Apologize for indirectly insulting my natural weight, and I won’t unleash the lions.
And do it WITHOUT mentioning the boyfriend. Who’s a surgeon.
(Sorry Buggle, but I REALLY hope she doesn’t apologize. I wanna see the lions get unleashed.)
(Sorry everyone else. I just think a flame war would be amusing, but hey, I AM an unrepentant troll.)
@CH
Now, now, just STOP that !
PUCK is a Safe Zone.
It would appear as though SOMEONE other than me is an unrepentant troll.
@Buggle Who was indirectly insulting your weight? I was just offering free general fashion advice. (I’m not afraid of lions. Or hoboes) 😛
@Susan
True.
Being secure with your own body type is not automatically a dis to others who are different.
I love Tuna, yet the Salmon is not offended.
Hey, EG, were you looking in my bf’s apartment last night? If not, one of your non-electric relatives was, cling to the screen door. It was a big one, like four inches long. I popped him on the belly and told him to go eat mosquitoes and junebugs, He sailed off int the night, never to return. As of midnight,last night anyway
@Susan
Gosh.
It never even occurred to me it could have been anyone’s Cousin.
OH WELL
I was gonna post a link to a song called “Nag,” but, after last week and the deleted joke, I’m not sure how you’d deal with links.
@RN
Oh No !
Deleted ?
You must have ran out of TRACEEEEE POINTS 🙁 .
But have no fear !
I am Official President of the Tracee Fan Club.
And due to the fact that I have been reprehensible lately, (which pleases her and Satan), she has granted me more than a few extras 😛 .
So here you go: ………
If it’s to Youtube, that’s always cool.
Oh. Okay.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAAsxCUpLMI
Now, if you really want puns, Colin, work with the fact that “Nag” is Urdu for “Cobra.” As in, “Oh, my your nag just bit me whiie I was rolling my eyes and now I’m gonna die.”
It’s also a term used with horses; usually associated with being old and unhealthy. Particularly bad when referring to race horses.
@EG
If Susan can insult +size folks with impunity does that mean I can insult anorexic gold diggers?
I’d rather the general insults stop altogether, really.
Colin is scared,isn’t he. that is why he is so aggressively in denial about the possibility.
A horse of that very color indeed.
Hey, Colin, this is how you respond to nagging: http://arloandjanis.com/
It’s the one for May 16. so you may have to click back
@Susan
That’s kinda’ sad …. but true.
FIVE DAYS IN and no one has referenced what is likeliest the RUDEST SOUTH PARK EPISODE ever ?
(And the funniest.)
Has one tiny LETTER ever gotten anyone into so much trouble ?
Calling it now, it’s the BIG C
Lots of guys like Colin seem to be scared of going to the doctor.