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As for this comic…
Phoebe seldom speaks with the voice of knowing authority, unless the subject is fashion and aesthetics. Then her inner Sir Kenneth Clark comes out. (I am aware that only 3% of my readers will know who Sir Kenneth Clark is without Googling him, but when I think of a voice of knowing and slightly arrogant authority, I think of Sir Kenneth Clark.)
A big part of speaking with the voice of authority, I think, lies in having the right hand positions.
Puck 445
Chapter: Junior PromCharacters: Daphne PhoebeTags: bathroom crying fashion maslow prom self-actualize
NEW VOTING INCENTIVE! BONUS COMIC PREVIEW!
There's a new, exclusive bonus story arc that's going to be contained inside Puck Volume Two! Vote for Puck on TWC this week to get a little preview of what's coming!
VOTE FOR PUCK AND … YEAH!!!
As for this comic…
Phoebe seldom speaks with the voice of knowing authority, unless the subject is fashion and aesthetics. Then her inner Sir Kenneth Clark comes out. (I am aware that only 3% of my readers will know who Sir Kenneth Clark is without Googling him, but when I think of a voice of knowing and slightly arrogant authority, I think of Sir Kenneth Clark.)
A big part of speaking with the voice of authority, I think, lies in having the right hand positions.
DO YOU MEAN I’VE GOT TO SEE THE INSIDE OF ANOTHER WOMEN’S RESTROOM?
Oh no, the college work study antacid flashbacks. . . .
What’s wrong with that? Except for the absence of urinals (usually), they’re just the same.
The lunch boxes man. The lunch boxes.
Moose hockey. I went to a cheer camp once when they opened up the Mens to us. Qui horribile, not a chair in sight without a hole in the seat! 😛
No men ever rest in the restroom. They don’t even linger to comb their hair. It is an unpleasant place that one is meant to enter and leave without ever actually inhaling.
I really prefer the term
LAVATORY.
That’s what the sign says at my Vets.
At my school, “bathroom” means “Vape/Juul room that happens to have some really disgusting porcelain bowls”
Oh you kids and your smoking alternatives. Never let the dream die!
The women’s is cleaner, but not because women are cleaner. It’s because women complain more, so the standards of cleaning are necessarily higher.
Hee hee, I told my Boss about this “controversy,” and she pulled out an old Bloom County collection from her bookshelf, and it showed Milo, Opus, and Binkley about to explore a Woman’s. Dialogue: “Has anybody ever gone in there?” “Just Michael Jackson, and he never came back.” Been a long time since I saw a Michael Jackson joke. 🙂
Oh, you mean the “hoverers.” Yeah, they either do that or they use up half the paper towels in the dispenser to cover the seat, then try to flush them down the toilet, thereby plugging it. Trust me, I (and my fellow medical office workers who take bathroom cleaning duty on a rota) would much rather clean up some pee than unplug the toilet for the umteenth time, and then get yelled at when the paraffin seal breaks. Can’t blame men for that either, drat it. We run a GYN practice and have a unisex bathroom.
I remember my Boss telling an anxious patient who asked her if you could catch clap in a bathroom. She said, “Yes, but the floors are very cold and hard.”
@Susan
I remember my Boss telling an anxious patient who asked her if you could catch clap in a bathroom. She said, “Yes, but the floors are very cold and hard.”
😛
For someone who sh*ts in sand, I may be the only one who has a surefire prompt to get up and relieve myself at night.
The typical dream is I have a “need”, in a public place.
I discover facilities, that are overflowing and disgusting beyond any expectations.
THAT WAKES ME UP !
Fortunately, “Baldie”, my human pet, buys me large bags of every nice litter.
That is, ever since the time I “went” in the Laundry Room.
(insert innocent face here)
A SINCERE AND RESPECTFUL PRAYER TO OUR CREATOR
Dear Lord,
Most of us really enjoy your gift of requiring us all to eat and drink. Things do taste very good; we appreciate this.
But in our next revision, please do what you can to allow all waste products to be gaseous, and easily eliminated.
Sincerely,
Your humble and appreciative creation, Salem
(Actually, as far as the GASEOUS part goes, my human pet “Baldie” seems to be quite close to a mastery of the gift.)
You haven’t heard of the poorer half of the fairer sex. The so called squatters. Because, supposedly no matter how clean a lavatory could be, it was never enough for them to relax enough to actually sit down.
Anecdotal evidence provided by a dean’s wife, she had walked into a restroom to, you know. But upon finding the facilities occupied she had to wait but a moment. Upon entering the newly vacated stall, she found that someone had peed all over the seat. I suppose someone would call it victim blaming nowadays, but I call it staying common sense. She just started, “on my gosh, what happened in here?” loud enough for the perpetrator to hear before Absconding forth from the facilities.
So much for the higher educated, eh?
See, that’s why I didn’t say women are cleaner. Because they aren’t, mainly due to limitations of biology. I have heard from multiple people (both male and female) who worked cleaning washrooms for a living, and they reported that the cleaning nightmares they encountered in women’s washrooms often FAR eclipsed the things they found in men’s washrooms. They also said, though, that they usually cleaned the women’s room way more frequently because failure to do so would result in angry complaints. That’s why the women’s washroom is statistically cleaner at any given moment: the power of complaint. Guys just hold their noses, do their business and flee.
Yes, of course. The only time I have to be in the men’s room long enough to have to inhale, _I_ am the one making the stink.
Speaking from janitorial experience, I can attest to that.
I can also attest to that cleaning a women’s restroom is more disgusting, since there’s a LOT more going on there. The worst smell you’ll find there is a dirty diaper from the dad that is out with his kid by himself or the odd leakage of the incontinent old man. Under normal circumstances, you’ll dealing with the byproduct of a guy missing the urinal/bowl.
I’ve actually got horror stories of women’s restrooms that would get blocked by the filters. I once told a female coworker that, after explaining exactly what I found in there, flat out said that “you women are disgusting”. And for once, she didn’t disagree.
Worst smell you’ll find in a men’s room. Missing two words changed the tone of that paragraph heavily, I swear.
Are you kidding that were women run to to pass gas. You could cut the air with a knife with all the farts and perfume in the air.
It’s not that exciting. Just cleaner.
@EG
Was my super-cool post filtered away ?
Not sure why. It didn’t have any words I remember blocking, but I brought it back.
CLEANER?! I’ll have you know I have NEVER had to clean sh!+ off the CEILING of a mens’ room. I wish like hell I could say the same of womens’ rooms.
I have questions. But I’m not sure you’d be the one with the answers.
I don’t ever remember having to look up at the ceiling in the women’s room, and I’m tall. Nor did I ever look up at the ceiling in the men’s room.
Here’s hoping that Phoebe guides Daphne to actual self actualise, while Daphne believes she’s guiding her to see Hannah Vanbeek crying in the bathroom.
How hard can it be though? Spray something in her eyes, causing her to weep, as is the eyes natural self defence against foreign objects, then she runs to the bathroom to wash it out. Done.
Well, if anyone can guide Daphne down the righteous path, it’s Satan’s daughter. And I’m oddly not being sarcastic there.
Well there be any gliding? Because it’s all in the buttocks.
But her motivation is a pure one.
Pure vengeance.
‘Pure’ really is a nebulous word, isn’t it? Like ‘pure urine’ really isn’t something to get excited about.
Can urine be pure? It’s essentially a combination of waste materials and ammonia dissolved in water. Is it still urine if it’s just pure water? What about if it’s pure ammonia?
It is pure when it is not mixed with maple syrup. Obviously.
It’s pure if there isn’t any PUS or blood or bile in it. It was an old joke when I was a mere girl of a phlebotomist at the hospital where we now operate. We would hold a new urine specimen up to the light, swirl it, and say, in chorus, “Negative!” This is known in the healthcare community as “dry-labbing” and is regarded as hilarious.
It is sterile at first, so maybe it is pure and unadulterated.
That’s urea, not ammonia – yet. It’s only when it sits and ferments that you get ammonia. Urea is odorless. Other than urea, there’s water, whatever excess minerals the kidneys filtered out, and humans probably have scent glands discharging into the urine, like most mammals. But if there’s a strong stench from urine, either someone has a bladder infection, or something didn’t get flushed or cleaned up in a reasonable time.
Speaking with the right hand position?
Hand position?
I’m sorry but who can see her hand position when she’s wearing that collar? Sir Kenneth Clark never had this problem!!!!
What’s wrong with the collar? The collar is tasteful. And detached from the top entirely!
There is nothing wrong with the collar. It is just enough to reveal what it conceals.
Lord Kenneth Clardkcould exude authority by just letting the wind blow his elegantly cut hair. Too bad about his teeth, though.
The teeth are an intrinsic part of his British charm.
I have to disagree with you EG. Speaking with the voice of authority largely requires one to possess the appropriate accent. WHICH accent is most authoritative depends on the subject matter at hand.
I don’t know which accent is right, but I know which accent is wrong for the voice of authority: A Kiwi accent. If you’re from New Zealand, you can never speak with the voice of authority. You can sound funny, cute, twee, wry, but never authoritative.
I’m intrigued – how does the Kiwi accent differ from the Aussie accent?
The Kiwi accent is softer, quainter, and decidedly more English in its intonation.
Shouldn’t Daphne direct her ire at Taylor aka Tyler? He’s the one who didn’t ask her.
That could be considered “logical”, or even “sensible”.
These words have no place in this comic. 😀
No, that would be logical. Why are you trying to inject the poison of logic into this?
Nah, she still likes Tyler. And to admit that he left her of his own Will suggests that she did something wrong. She can’t accept that, so it must be that other girl who lured him.
Very true. Way easier to blame the ‘interloper’ because then her own failings don’t need to be acknowledged.
And remember, Taylor DID ask her first, and got shot down like a B52 over berlin
@DLKmusic
Mocked him, in fact.
Thank God Tyler has shown he has some self-respect – finally.
This has “painful backfire” written all over it.
The question is: who will feel the pain?
The other question is who is going start the fire?
Not Billy Joel. That much we know.
Probably Stewart, Wallace’s little brother in “Wallace the Brave.” He is always dreaming about fire.
So many answers, so much obtuseness! Of course, Daffy, like any aggrieved woman, wants to vent her wrath on THE OTHER WOMAN! Men are like the second course.
Listen to this voice of knowledge, people.
considdering she is the daughter of satan, phoebe has suprisingly many morals…..also, i think daphs wish for revenge is fairly moderate, ‘only’ wishing to ruin her rivals prom and make her miserable – i´d expected her to think more along the lines of ‘i want to go carrie on her a#!’
If you kill a rival, then that’s it. But if you humiliate a rival at a crucial juncture in life, then that means they will remember that lingering suffering for all time.
who said anything about killing? just utterly ruining the prom for them….it doesn´t have to be as extreme as pigs blood on the dress, but mere tears? we´re talking about teenage girls here, they cry at the smallest thing. daph will want to see the floozy daring to steal HER bestie *suffer*
@Peya Luna
As others have already made clear, it takes Two to Tango.
I’m pretty sure humiliating Tyler’s Prom Date is not a path to his heart.
If Daphne did that to my Prom Date (wat am I saying – a Kat Prom ?), I’d give Daphne a sock to the jaw !
Sadly, Tyler is clearly too much of a gentleman to give Daphne what she would deserve in such a situation.
Perhaps Daphne is not thinking this through entirely rationally? The concept that alienating her best friend by humiliating his date may have consequences does not seem to have entered her head. She’s never been about figuring out the consequences much.
@rewinn they may work in her favor as it may make Tyler realize that Daphne actually like like him.
@JJR I suppose wefans all hope that Daphler becomes a thing. If showing Ty she’s a crazy psycho byotch is what it takes, well o.k. He sort of knew it all along.
Now, in real life when someone shows you she or he is a crazy psycho byotch, it’s time to friendzone them real hard. But who ever does that?
@rewinn For entertainment value I would not want them to get together or separate.
However if Tyler was a friend in real life I would want him to escape.
Remember, Phoebe is the “white sheep” of the family. (When Daddy is Satan, there’s really only one way to go on the Color Chart of Good and Evil.) Also, if Phoebe DID try to be evil, let’s be honest, she’d be terrible at it. If Puck had a family motto, it would be “Failure is Always an Option”, and Phoebe is closer to Puck and the others than to her own father.
Perfectly said, T’Renn. It always amazes me how many people know my comic as well as – or better than – I do.
I always did like studying Sir Kenneth Clark (well, the five times we were allowed to in history class. Seriously, I kept track).
As for the comic, on one hand, I don’t blame Daphne for wanting to get Tyler “back” (in lack of a better word) and on the other hand, it’s Daphne and I think that girl has lead him on for close to 20 years (even though they’re probably nowhere that age).
Sir Kenneth Clark was the man. I found it surprising when I looked him up that he’d been dead for most of my life, given the fact that I’ve seen him a number of times in videos and such.
Is Phoebe wearing RED PANTIES ?
(better than BLACK. those got TRACEEE into big trubble)
It’s either a part of the pants, or it’s not part of the pants. In which case, yes.
@EG
A small “window” to see a woman’s underwear is actually Fashion Genius.
You’ll likely to see this on the runways in the Fall.
Actually, women have been displaying their undies for years, via distressed denim jeans.
Phoebe discovered a way for an elegant woman to do so.
EG … Would Phoebe ever wear distressed Blue Jeans ?
Distressed jeans are hard to draw. So likely not. But maybe?
@EG
I’m actually surprised.
It’s rare Phoebe bothers with Off-the-Rack at all.
And despite her profession as a Howlers-Gal, I always thought, although attractive on the right woman, that Phoebe would declare Distressed Jeans as declasse – more of a TRACEEE thing.
I would tend to agree. If she did wear distressed jeans, I’m guessing that she would do the distressing herself. And really, it’s too sloppy a look for her.
Says somebody who has obviously never bought a bra from V*ctoria’s Secret. I get spam from them two or three times a day, and they are showing like mad. Madonna would be jealous (as she probably is, her being like, OLD, and the VS models being pretty young girls
@Susan
Showing Bra Straps has been a “thing” for years.
So long, in fact, it is likely to be out of fashion pretty soon.
Are “tats” losing ground as well ?
Part of the pants. When Satan’s daughter does wear undies, they don’t rise like granny’s bloomers…
That is a good point. Those undies would be fairly high-rise, which seems definitely un-Phoebe-like.
I dunno.
I’m thinkin’ then that little patch could be made of a frill, lacy material to simply suggest unmentionables.
I think Phoebe is truly a ground-breaker.
That’s also likely.
@EG
Ummmm…..
Can Phoebe sew herself some skin-tight black vinyl slacks ?
Nice shiny ones ?
(keep the wings and patch)
Nice FINGER-TENTING, Devil-Girl.
😛
Well, all the cool geniuses do it.
Daphne’s so shallow! She doesn’t even mention Tyler. No doggie biscuit for her! 😉
Tyler has NOTHING to do with this right now. Just as Archduke Franz Ferdinand really had nothing to do with WWI. Except for starting it.
By getting shot, no less. WHAT WAS HE THINKING????
@EG
Inquiring minds need to know….
Does either Phoebe or Dad have actual HOOVES ?
Why do I need to know … umm .. no reason – really.
No. Phoebe wears normal shoes. Just horns and a tail.
@EG
How about Dad ?
(My human Pet “Baldie” thinks he can start a line of attractive HOOF-COVERS. He’s exploring the potential customer base.)
Normal feet on him too.
If you’ve ever seen Puck Volume One, though, there’s a preliminary drawing of Phoebe with goat legs and hooves. And bell-bottoms. It’s kind of rad, but also looks weird.
@EG
Oh drat.
Are Bell Bottems coming back, tho ?
Bell-bottoms? *garg* Not in your nine lives. My bf says that in the 70s only girls with AAA+ tushes looked good in bell bottoms.and, one might ask, why not just tight jeans? Ask Phoebles’ “Gods of Fashion.” 😛
Bell-bottoms looked great on girls (like Phoebe) who had curves to spare. It accentuated that hourglass figure by essentially adding another hourglass on the bottom. Like many things in fashion, the concept is fine and striking, and as a unique fashion statement it could be cool. But it was the sheer ubiquity of bell-bottoms in the 70’s, the fact that everyone wore them, which made them go from ‘different and cool’ to ‘faddish and stupid’. Though in my opinion, Phoebe can bring them back whenever she wants.
I’m sure that bell-bottoms are quite flattering to girls that look like Phloebles, but when you are straining to hit 5’2″ without platforms, they make you look like a clothespin. A dumpy clothespin
@Susan
R U hinting of a new preferred NICKNAME ?
@Salem: Not unless you are honing to find out what a bunch of stainless steel flechettes feels like
@Clothespin
Darn it……
I have a feeling Daphne may have the strange feeling of realizing she actually cares a bit about looks and Tyler . . . her sense of who she is may be taking quite a hit.
Daffy cares about Taylor the same way one of her jackal ancestors felt about a chunk of decaying antelope. It’s *their* chunk of decaying antelope, and nobody else better touch it.
@Susan
Exactly
Daphne: It may be SH*T to me, and I want nothing to do with it, but DAMMIT – IT’S MINE
Tyler, you are the most noble character in this entire Comic.
You deserve far better than a psycho Jackal-Chick.
Who has ZERO appreciation of you (or anyone else).
RUN- RUN – RUN
Nothing makes you question your own worth as a young female more than the nightmare that is prom. This much I’ve observed.
Finished Reading through your archives and there’s something I’ve been dying to say since the first.
You and many other commenters have been very harsh on Phoebe’s Fashion Sense despite drawing the most Beautiful and Boldest clothes I’ve seen.
I LOVE Phoebe’s Clothes. If you ever decide to leave teaching and web comics, you could totally become a Fashion designer. I’d put anything Phoebe’s Worn up against anything I’ve seen in so-called “fashion” shows. Some of your designs were simply incredible and awe inspiring.
And This is coming from a Guy.
I am very glad you approve of Phoebe’s fashion choices. I do put a lot of work into coming up with unique ‘conversation pieces’ for her to wear, and working within her own unique fashion … idiom? One reader once said that this comic is at least 40% about women’s fashion, and I can’t entirely deny that. I doubt I’d have much of a future as a women’s fashion designer, but I have fun in the comic world.
The devil’s daughter helping someone “beat” someone else, but the reason has to be….pure. Did I mention I love this comic?
Having to Google Clark adds to the joke — I love it! How arrogant is this guy, well, only select people know about him. Of course being dead for 35 years helps. The Guardian sums up Clark best in one headline: “Kenneth Clark: arrogant snob or saviour of art? “
I’m leaning closer to the former definition. His concepts are wildly problematic now, what with his view of tribal society as barbarism and his heavily Euro-centric view of what civilization was. But he DID give a good (smug) lecture.
Barbarism from French barbarisme “barbarism of language”, from Latin barbarismus, from Greek barbarismos “foreign speech,” from barbarizein “to do as a foreigner does,” from barbaros (see barbarian).
Barbarian in reference to classical history, “a non-Roman or non-Greek,” earlier barbar (late 14c.) “non-Roman or non-Greek person; non-Christian; person speaking a language different from one’s own,” from Medieval Latin barbarinus (source of Old French barbarin “Berber, pagan, Saracen, barbarian”), from Latin barbarus “strange, foreign, barbarous,” from Greek barbaros “foreign, strange; ignorant,” from PIE root *barbar- echoic of unintelligible speech of foreigners (compare Sanskrit barbara- “stammering,” also “non-Aryan,” Latin balbus “stammering,” Czech blblati “to stammer”).
In many ways, tribal society is barbarism. It wasn’t until the 15th century that the English use of the term meant that something was offensive to civilized culture. Clark would have had the education to know the historical significance of the term. And he was part of the Labour party, so I’m not sure he considered tribal cultures offensive. Then again, he was smug and English. For all I know he was offended by every culture that didn’t orbit London.
Side note: I don’t know whether to laugh or shake my head at Wikipedia saying Clark was liberal “despite his wealth”.
If you read Lord Kenneth Clark’s autobiography, Another Part of the Wood and <The Other Half as I have, you might be a little more appreciative. Personally, I found him very knowledgeable and adore The Story of Civilisation. He was an Edwardian by birth and trained by Bernard Baruch, so his Eurocentrism is very understandable . But, then I am very Texocentric and think barbarians strt at Damascus.. 😛
Fan art alert! Another ep in the continuing saga of “Puck: The Early Days” continues! Well, it will continue after I get the background done. Would you say Puck is like, 5’6″?
Puck is 5’8″ and a half or so. She and Phoebe are both tall.
I am curious about this interesting development…
Let’s just say that your”no magical characters” edict is gonna get a ding 🙂
I am more than half expecting Hannah Vanbeek to be a kind girl who was just being nice to a boy from class.
How old are you Mr Gecko!?
(That reference Sir Kenneth Clark) You were right though, man loved his speeches and such.
PPS. Your a thesaurus
I’m clinging onto my late thirties right now. Sir Kenneth Clark was before my time. But his haughty British memory will live forever.
Dang it, it’s Lord Kenneth Clark 🙁 And the fifteen of his books on our coffee table will ensure his memory for a while yet
No one goes by ‘lord’. Not even lords. Unless you’re a Sith lord. Then you can lord it up all you want.
You should know. But if anybody even made me Lady Susan…well you guys better watch out 😛
I thought spite was the ONLY reason you invoke the fashion gods…
You may be onto something…